The Black Mother Wound Podcast

Jennifer Arnise

Welcome to The Black Mother Wound  podcast where we dig deep into the unique challenges faced by Black women in their relationships with their mothers. Join us every week as we embark on an honest, vulnerable, and nurturing journey toward embracing, understanding and healing, and embracing our inner little girl. In a world that often tries to silence our voices, this podcast is a safe space where we unpack the complexities of our relationships with the women who raised us. We confront the reality of toxic dynamics and the profound impact they have had on our lives. But we don't stop there; we're committed to unraveling the threads of generational trauma and weaving new narratives of strength, resilience, and self-love.Visit JenniferArnise.com to start your healing journey.

  1. NOV 4

    Ep 080: It’s Time for Main Character Energy

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.  Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2.  Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today   *************************************** For so many Black women, we were taught, directly or indirectly, that our safety depended on keeping the peace, reading the room, and staying small. Our mothers, often emotionally unavailable and burdened by their own unhealed wounds, became the main characters of our lives. Their moods dictated our choices. Their validation determined our worth. And even as adults, many of us continue to live stories where we play supporting roles in someone else’s narrative. But it’s time to change the script. Main character energy isn’t about arrogance or self-absorption, it’s about reclaiming authorship over your own story. It’s remembering that you are not a prop in someone else’s life, nor a sidekick meant to highlight another person’s shine. You are the heroine of your own journey, and that role comes with authority, autonomy, and unapologetic self-trust. You can’t wait for permission. You can’t wait for the world to hand you the spotlight. You were born with it. So step into the center. It’s your story. It always has been. In this episode, I’ll talk about what it truly means to step into your main-character energy, especially for those of us who grew up centering everyone but ourselves. When you’ve been conditioned to make your mother, your partner, your friends, or even your job the main character in your story, reclaiming your own spotlight can feel foreign, even wrong. But it’s time to rewrite that script. We’ll unpack how shame, guilt, and the need for approval keep you playing the sidekick in your own life, and how expression, autonomy, and community help you take your rightful place at the center.  Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:16) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:01:52) The Main Character Energy (00:03:15) When your mother is the main character (00:05:25) The cost of decentering yourself (00:07:50) How Jennifer used to take on a “sidekick” role (00:10:13) Defining main female character energy (00:12:51) Letting go of shame (00:14:04) Releasing guilt for wanting more (00:22:41) Finding like-minded community (00:25:11) Practicing main character energy (00:27:02) End the Sidekick Energy Key Takeaways: “When we decenter ourselves and we’re not the main character in our own life story, it turns us into the victim.” DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound  Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    29 min
  2. OCT 28

    Ep 079: Your Mother Made You Wear a Mask

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.  Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2.  Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today   *************************************** Many of us started wearing masks before we even knew what that meant. We learned to be “the good girl,” “the smart one,” or “the strong one.” We tried to fit in, stay safe, and be who others wanted us to be. But somewhere along the way, we lost touch with who we really are. Wearing a mask can make us feel protected, but it also keeps us from being seen. It’s tiring to always perform, to hide our real feelings, and to protect peace that was never truly ours. Taking off the mask is the first step toward freedom. It means being honest about how you feel and allowing yourself to show up fully. It is choosing truth over performance and peace over perfection. Healing begins when you stop pretending and start remembering who you are. And who you are has always been enough. In this episode, I get real about the survival strategy so many of us learned growing up in households where we didn’t always feel safe to be ourselves, MASKING. We’ll explore how masking shows up in your life as overgiving, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and codependency, and how it can keep you disconnected from your authentic self. You’ll learn how to spot your own patterns, understand their impact, and take steps to unmask safely. We talk about reconnecting with hidden parts of yourself, reclaiming your voice, and showing up fully without fear or performance. “You can’t really maintain happiness, joy, or love if you’re not being your authentic self.” – Jennifer Arnise Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode snippet  (00:00:13) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:02:16) How masking begins as a survival skill (00:05:35) The fear of being your true self (00:06:36) The three masks: good girl, smart girl, independent girl (00:11:07) Unmasking as a lifelong practice (00:13:27) The emotional toll of hiding yourself (00:16:32) Reconnecting with your inner little girl (00:18:20) When masking becomes emotional abuse (00:20:27) Mistaking assertiveness for authenticity (00:21:55) The role of community in unmasking Key Takeaways: "You can’t really maintain happiness or joy or love if you’re not being your authentic self." "Your unmasking is going to require you to throw the middle finger up at people." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound  Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    23 min
  3. OCT 14

    Ep 078: Is Your Pain Tolerance is Too High?

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.  Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2.  Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today   *************************************** Many Black women are taught from an early age to endure pain without flinching. We’re told that strength is survival, that silence is grace, and that independence is our crown. But what if the very thing we were praised for is what’s keeping us from healing? Every time we swallow our pain, we lose a little more of ourselves. We get so used to showing up for everyone else that we stop showing up for our own hearts. We stay busy, productive, and dependable, all while our bodies whisper that we’re running on empty.  The truth is, endurance isn’t the same as healing. Carrying pain doesn’t make us stronger, it makes us harder, more guarded, and disconnected from our softness. Healing starts when we stop glorifying struggle and begin to ask ourselves, “Why do I believe I have to hurt to prove my worth?” In this episode, I talk about the hidden cost of having a high emotional pain tolerance and how what we often call strength is actually rooted in survival. From growing up with emotionally unavailable mothers to staying too long in relationships that drain us, I unpack how we’ve been taught to normalize pain and silence our needs. Together, we explore how to stop glorifying endurance, begin honoring our emotions, and rebuild a sense of safety within ourselves through rest, boundaries, and gentle self-compassion. "You can be tender, you can be soft, you can be yourself and still let somebody know you’re not here to be played with." – Jennifer Arnise Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:11) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:03:39) High pain tolerance is a trauma response (00:06:05) Being “the strong one” keeps us from healing (00:08:04) Self-abandonment starts when we silence our needs (00:10:10) Believing love must be earned through suffering (00:13:00) How we ignore emotional pain and call it productivity (00:16:10) Healing starts with feeling safe (00:18:30) Real safety begins within (00:20:30) Honor your emotion (00:22:40) Pay attention to your physical needs (00:23:40) Set boundaries and ask for help (00:25:06) Feeling pain doesn’t mean you’re weak (00:27:00) New forms of strength: Softness, rest, and self-compassion Key Takeaways:  "Your high tolerance for pain was created out of survival." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound  Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    28 min
  4. OCT 7

    Ep 077: You Have the Right to Change Your Mind

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.  Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2.  Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today   *************************************** Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that being dependable meant never changing. We were celebrated for our steadiness, for keeping things together, for being the ones others could count on.  But no one told us that sometimes, the version of ourselves that everyone depends on is the one silently falling apart. We were praised for staying the course, even when that course was breaking our spirit. We were told that consistency made us good women, good daughters, and good mothers, even if that “goodness” demanded the quiet sacrifice of our joy. The courage to change your mind is the courage to reclaim your life. It’s a declaration that you no longer belong to other people’s expectations. It’s the start of a new chapter where peace matters more than appearances, and authenticity weighs more than approval. Because real strength isn’t found in how long you can endure, it’s found in how boldly you can evolve. In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, I talk about reclaiming the sacred right to shift, to outgrow, re-evaluate, and choose again without guilt or explanation. Together, we’ll unpack how early conditioning, religious expectations, and fear of punishment taught us to stay small and silent, even when our spirit was begging for something new. “We get mad when we give our power to someone else and then they mishandle it, when the whole time, it was only ours to hold.” – Jennifer Arnise Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:11) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:04:09) You have the right to change your mind (00:07:21) The cost of losing autonomy (00:10:20) Fear of making mistakes (00:11:13) Redefining irresponsibility (00:13:04) Autonomy and the mother wound connection (00:15:19) Learning to fall gracefully (00:17:04) Stop seeking approval (00:18:02) Get clear on what you really want (00:20:16) Create a safe space within (00:22:47) What does success look like for you? (00:24:20) Celebrate yourself (00:25:53) Train your inner girl (00:27:30) The power of safe community (00:28:19) Choose what’s true to you Key Takeaways:  “You have a right to change your mind. Every woman has a right to change their mind.” “There’s a difference between knowing what you want and believing what you can have. Stop gaslighting yourself."  DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    30 min
  5. SEP 23

    Ep 076: Stop Explaining Yourself to People

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.  Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2.  Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today   *************************************** Many of us have learned to explain ourselves because, at some point, it felt like survival. As children, we wanted to avoid rejection, abandonment, or punishment, so we reached for words to soften the blow or gain approval. That habit often follows us into adulthood, where explaining becomes second nature. But with every explanation, a quiet message slips through: Maybe I need permission to be myself. And over time, that can feel heavy, like you are carrying your life in someone else’s hands. You don’t have to live that way. You don’t need to justify your choices, your boundaries, or your presence. Your worth is not up for debate. It was never earned through explanations, and it cannot be taken away by silence. It is safe to pause. It is safe to say less. It is safe to remind your body, “We are okay. We are not in danger anymore.” Each time you do, you build trust with yourself. You show your inner child that she no longer has to hustle for approval. You are free to live without apology, to stand in your truth without explanation, and to know deep in your bones that you are already enough. In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, I break down the habit of overexplaining and why it keeps you stuck in self-abandonment. We’ll explore how overexplaining ties back to fear of rejection, abandonment, and punishment, and how it strips you of your autonomy. You’ll learn four practical steps to stop overexplaining, how to set boundaries without apology, and the importance of aftercare so your nervous system feels safe as you step into your authority. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:54) Resolve on Demand course is live (00:05:15) Stop explaining yourself (00:08:26) Explaining yourself is a form of self-abandonment (00:11:49) The hard truth: no one is coming to save you (00:12:14) Explaining as manipulation and bullying (00:14:43) Step 1: Think before you respond (00:16:47) Step 2: Decide what is the best way to answer (00:17:52) Step 3: Don’t volunteer extra information (00:19:41) Step 4: Stop apologizing for your choices (00:21:16) Aftercare: regulating your nervous system (00:23:04) Shake out the energy (00:25:18) Nobody is the boss of you Key Takeaways:  "When you spend time overexplaining, you are trying to control how others perceive you." "Get in alignment with your highest purpose, your highest joy, who you really are so you can have the life that you really want." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experien Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    27 min
  6. SEP 16

    Ep 075: Bein’ All Woo-Woo Nearly F*ed Up My Healing

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.  Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2.  Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today   *************************************** Many of us grow up searching for answers in the wrong places. Childhood disconnection, particularly from a mother, leaves a deep sense of longing and confusion. We fantasize about a fix, a solution, or some external force that will make life feel safe and whole. Many turn to spirituality, astrology, or crystals. While these tools can feel comforting, they sometimes become a way to escape our present reality rather than confront it. The problem is when we rely on them instead of taking action. We avoid setting boundaries, making choices, or handling responsibilities. Life doesn’t change, confidence stays low, and healing gets stuck. The solution is to combine spiritual practices with practical steps. Healing happens when we stay in our bodies, trust ourselves, and make intentional choices. Spirituality can guide us, but real change comes from taking action and claiming control of our own lives. In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, we talk about how spirituality can sometimes stall healing when it’s used to escape life instead of taking action. Learn how to pair spiritual practices with real-world steps to reclaim your power, strengthen boundaries, and become the ultimate authority in your life. True transformation comes from showing up for yourself, not waiting for a miracle. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:19) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast (00:02:52) Getting away restores your mind and soul (00:07:19) Spirituality can actually block your healing if it’s an escape (00:09:53) “Why doesn’t my mama love me?” (00:14:15) 15 years deep in spirituality didn’t change my life (00:17:24) Knowing a lot doesn’t mean your life changes (00:20:02) Waiting for a rescue keeps you stuck (00:22:42) Spirituality should complement self-authority (00:25:19) Healing means staying in your body and making better choices (00:27:17) Mother wounds heal through real relationships, not rituals (00:28:05) You are in charge of your life (00:29:55) There’s no power greater than your own Key Takeaways:  "Pair spirituality with practical actions." "There is no power greater than you in your life. There isn't any. There is nothing more powerful than the power you have over your own life." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound  Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    32 min
  7. SEP 10

    Ep 74: Safety First: Why You Can’t Claim Your Power Without It

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2.  Work with me one-on-one In this episode, Jennifer Arnise discusses the importance of feeling safe enough to be your true self. She emphasizes that safety is crucial for establishing authority in one's life and explores how fear-based parenting can lead to relinquishing personal authority.  Jennifer encourages listeners to practice self-acceptance and authenticity, highlighting the need to reparent oneself and create internal safety. She urges individuals to unleash their true selves and establish their own power, rather than seeking validation from others. Takeaways Safety is essential for personal authority.Fear-based parenting can undermine self-trust.Reparenting oneself is crucial for self-acceptance.You must practice being your true self.Hiding your true self prevents genuine connections.Establish your own power instead of seeking it from others.You are worthy and deserving of love as you are.Reject societal pressures to conform.Healing requires action and practice.Authenticity leads to deeper self-satisfaction.Sound Bites "You do exist and you do matter.""Reject the club, leave the club.""Establish your own f*****g power."Chapters 00:00 Establishing Safety to Be Yourself 09:53 Unleashing Your True Self 15:03 The Journey to Self-Acceptance Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    18 min
  8. SEP 3

    Ep: 073 Why are you worried about them?

    Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. How we can stay connected and work together! **Join RESOLVE On-Demand at www.resolvehealingintensive.com** In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, Jennifer Arnise shares her personal journey of self-discovery and the importance of centering oneself in decision-making. Through the lens of a home improvement project, she reflects on the tendency to consider external opinions over personal preferences, emphasizing the need to build an internal gaze that prioritizes self-acceptance and empowerment. The conversation also touches on the impact of upbringing and societal expectations on personal choices, ultimately encouraging listeners to embrace their individuality and make decisions that resonate with their true selves. takeaways It's important to prioritize your own preferences over others' opinions. Decentering external validation is crucial for personal growth. Building an internal gaze helps in making confident decisions. Self-acceptance is a journey that requires practice. You can't please everyone, so focus on what makes you happy. Creating a personal space that reflects your identity is empowering. Healing the mother wound involves reclaiming your authority. Understanding who 'they' are can clarify your decision-making process. Making choices for yourself can feel uncomfortable but is necessary. Transformation in any area of life starts with self-awareness. titles Decentering External Opinions for Personal Growth Building an Internal Gaze: The Key to Self-Acceptance Sound Bites "You have to build your tolerance." "You can't make 100 theys happy." "Stop playing in your own fucking face." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene 00:58 Personal Reflections on Decision Making 04:08 Decentering External Opinions 09:58 Building an Internal Gaze 13:55 Bathroom Transformation and Conclusion Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

    20 min
5
out of 5
297 Ratings

About

Welcome to The Black Mother Wound  podcast where we dig deep into the unique challenges faced by Black women in their relationships with their mothers. Join us every week as we embark on an honest, vulnerable, and nurturing journey toward embracing, understanding and healing, and embracing our inner little girl. In a world that often tries to silence our voices, this podcast is a safe space where we unpack the complexities of our relationships with the women who raised us. We confront the reality of toxic dynamics and the profound impact they have had on our lives. But we don't stop there; we're committed to unraveling the threads of generational trauma and weaving new narratives of strength, resilience, and self-love.Visit JenniferArnise.com to start your healing journey.

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