The Boundaries.me Podcast Dr. Henry Cloud

What is the psychology of becoming yourself? How is your identity formed? This is a deceptively layered question related not only to your past, but to your present and future. There is a concept here that’s important to understand: your true self, and your false self are not the same. We all understand who our true selves are, but our false selves are that person we show to the world out of fear, insecurity, or lack of understanding where we fit in. Sometimes, we lose track of who is who. Dr. Cloud delves into our need for acceptance, and love of who you truly are. We need to feel loved, not from within ourselves, but from outside ourselves in order to start the process of getting to our true identity. Are you so hung up in your past that you can’t get to the “why” of your life? This highlight will help you see where that “why” might be hiding.
 
Dr. Cloud's workshop The Stages of Faith is going live on April 3rd at 5pm PDT. Overcome your wounds, get unstuck, and reach the next level of your faith journey! It's on early bird pricing until March 12th. Go to https://boundaries.me/stages

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In this third final mini session on difficult conversations Dr. Cloud talks about getting clear about the purpose you’re bringing to the conversation. What are you trying to do? Are you trying to win, trying to persuade, to convince, to show you are right? Or, are you trying to find a solution? When we come with the goal of finding a solution that works for both sides it becomes motivational. This is how we leave a conversation with real change on the horizon. When we transform the other person from an adversary to a partner, with a common goal, that's when we’re on the path to positive changes.
 
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In this highlight, Dr. Cloud goes into part two of his session on having a difficult conversation. This one is all about preparation. How do you bring your best and keep your fear in check when entering into a difficult conversation? First, you have to have a difficult conversation with yourself. What splinter is stuck in your finger? We have to take that splinter out before we go into the conversation. Sometimes we do that by talking with someone that isn’t involved in the situation to bleed off that frustration. Taking air out of the balloon first is critical. Secondly, we need to take some time beforehand to get clear about what outcome we want. Third, we need to practice it or even write a script to keep on topic during that conversation. And last, start with the end-goal in mind by affirming the relationship and bring loving positive energy to it.
 
Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach
 
Our upcoming workshop on Codependency is on sale through February 15th! Go to https://boundaries.me/breakfree to sign up and get more details.

This is part one of a short series on how to have difficult conversations. In this highlight Dr. Cloud talks about an important skill to build before having a difficult conversation. In this session, he talks about how to create safe space for conversations that could explode. There are a few major issues that arise in difficult conversations: fight, flight or freeze. Dr. Cloud shares ways to make the conversation psychologically safe for the other person. A psychologically safe space is where both sides can share their feelings and thoughts without worry. Without this crucial first step, a successful conversation is highly unlikely.
 
Our upcoming workshop on Codependency is on sale through February 15th! Go to https://boundaries.me/breakfree to sign up and get more details.
 
Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about how we hold ourselves back internally from being who we want to be, or doing what we want with our lives. As children we are kept on short leashes and as we become adults it can be extremely difficult to accept our freedom. No one is holding the leash anymore, but in our heads it’s still there. As long as we keep these mental leashes in our minds, our lives will stay very small. You might associate leash with a comfort zone, and that’s definitely one big  reason that growing is so difficult. Dr. Cloud talks about how we can undo these mental leashes so that we can and start exploring our lives with greater freedom to do things we’ve set out to do.
Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about love and limits. One of the more difficult things about loving others is that we make ourselves vulnerable. Codependency easily arises in relationships when we fear losing love and enable bad behavior to prevent that love from leaving. The question then is whether we’re loving them fully when we don’t set limits around bad behavior. Dr. Cloud argues that in fact love and limits working in tandem are required in order for healthy love. Limits provide the structures by which love can grow and thrive. Where confusion arises is when love is withheld unless expectations are met, or limits are broken.
 
Dr. Cloud's next workshop is called The Path. The Path is a life-changing online workshop that will teach you how to accomplish anything from New Year's Resolutions to your daily goals to your biggest and boldest dreams. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/path

 
Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach