46 episodes

Eric Payne, a divorced dad and retired marriage & fatherhood blogger, tells the comedic tale of his "Chapter 2" — having to start life over brand new after a divorce he didn't want.

What Does Starting Over Mean?

Although "free” for the first time in 15 years, Eric has years of baggage and a stubborn desire to hold on to the past which initially keeps him stuck as he tries to move in a world way different than the one where he first met his ex-wife in the year 2000. From ghosting to online dating, to the self-care that is required of a 43-year-old, divorced black man in America, Eric tackles it all with fearless transparency and a refreshing sense of humor. Especially when it comes to making fun of himself. It's transparent, it’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy, and it’s hopeful, but most of all it’s proof that second chances do in fact exist for us when life doesn’t go as planned. Tune in for the exploits, especially the failures — there are plenty along the way on his journey of trying to find love again and discovering himself in the process.

The Dating After Divorce Survival Guid‪e‬ Eric Payne

    • Relationships
    • 4.8 • 49 Ratings

Eric Payne, a divorced dad and retired marriage & fatherhood blogger, tells the comedic tale of his "Chapter 2" — having to start life over brand new after a divorce he didn't want.

What Does Starting Over Mean?

Although "free” for the first time in 15 years, Eric has years of baggage and a stubborn desire to hold on to the past which initially keeps him stuck as he tries to move in a world way different than the one where he first met his ex-wife in the year 2000. From ghosting to online dating, to the self-care that is required of a 43-year-old, divorced black man in America, Eric tackles it all with fearless transparency and a refreshing sense of humor. Especially when it comes to making fun of himself. It's transparent, it’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy, and it’s hopeful, but most of all it’s proof that second chances do in fact exist for us when life doesn’t go as planned. Tune in for the exploits, especially the failures — there are plenty along the way on his journey of trying to find love again and discovering himself in the process.

    Love, Rain, Kings, and Queens

    Love, Rain, Kings, and Queens

    Acting on your emotions always feels good in the moment but rarely works out in the long run. Your host, Eric Payne, a.k.a. the Divorced Dillenger puts both his feet in a pile of you know what when he casts care to the wind (based on the events of Episode 5: A New Orleans Ghost Story) and backslides on his principles when it comes to who and how he dates. But don't lose hope! Things just may end on a high note in the season finale of Season 3 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.
    EPISODE TOPICS:
    Why acting based on your emotions rather than sound judgment is never a good idea in any relationship.
    Why it’s okay to want what you want.
    That you can and in some instances should elevate yourself above your circumstances.
    Why it’s necessary to have “space” in relationships, no matter what.
    ----------
    Resources from the Episode :
    You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch (https://epayne.me/podmerch)
    Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating QandAs, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne (http://patreon.com/ericpayne)
    Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care (https://epayne.me/self-care)
    Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA (https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA)
    Get poems featured in Season 3 here: http://epayne.me/poetrybook (http://epayne.me/poetrybook)
    Episode 7 poetry is adapted from Love Rain by Jill Scott (Miss Jill)
    ------------
    If you enjoyed the episode:
    Please subscribe on your platform of choice and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? 😃
    About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
    Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne, for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over and through emotional hills and valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

    • 38 min
    Revenge Sex and a Brown Paper Bag

    Revenge Sex and a Brown Paper Bag

    "Revenge is mine!" sayeth the Lord. Revenge may look cool and might seem like a good idea in the movies when the hero goes for broke to even the odds. But that’s the movies. In real life, not so much. Revenge sex (not to be confused with make-up sex) is an even worse idea. But that doesn’t stop me. Mad, sad, disappointed, upset, and completely knocked off my game thanks to the events of Episode 5, A New Orleans Ghost Story, revenge is on my mind. But revenge doesn't accomplish much.
    EPISODE TOPICS:
    (00:14) Act 1: Acting out of Anger and Living in Echo Chambers
    Stuck in someone else's pain
    Why revenge doesn't work
    Mistakes versus evil and why your pain doesn't make you special
    (06:54) Act 2: Revenge and Its Various Forms
    How revenge plays out in emotional matters
    Why you need to be honest with your accountability tribe no matter what
    Why revenge is a waste of time
    Who actually suffers when you seek revenge
    (17:24) Act 3: Revenge Sex - Setting the Trap and Creating the Bait
    There was really no way for this to end well, but at the time, I simply did not care.
    ------------
    Resources from the Episode :
    You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch (https://epayne.me/podmerch)
    Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating QandAs, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne (http://patreon.com/ericpayne)
    Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care (https://epayne.me/self-care)
    Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA (https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA)
    Get poems featured in Season 3 here: http://epayne.me/poetrybook (http://epayne.me/poetrybook)
    Episode music by Epik The Dawn and Temper Beats
    ------------
    If you enjoyed the episode:
    Please subscribe on your platform of choice and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? 😃
    About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
    Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne, for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over and through emotional hills and valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

    • 27 min
    A New Orleans Ghost Story

    A New Orleans Ghost Story

    Episode 5 is a ghost story, or should I say a story of ghosting, just in time for the 2018 holiday season. It's a tale filled with hope, mentorship, and an ending that couldn't have been expected but perhaps anticipated. The outcome of this story will set in motion a series of decisions and actions that will lead to series of less than desired outcomes.
    See below for the episode acts and topics and their timestamps:
    (01:15) Act 1: Creating Love In New Orleans
    (06:59) Act 2: All That Glitters Ain't Gold: Mentorship, Creating Tribes, and Listening to Advice
    Mentors don't have to be just for your business and your career
    The types of people you should have in your tribe
    Emotional intelligence is key to being mentored successfully
    What to do when good advice is something you don't want to hear
    (13:48) Act 3: When the Truth Comes Home to Roost
    Why you need people in your corner to help you handle the truth
    What to do and what not to do when someone is showing you who they are
    ---------
    Resources from the Episode :
    Episode Poem, "'Bout to Burst": http://epayne.me/poetrybook (http://epayne.me/poetrybook)
    You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch (https://epayne.me/podmerch)
    Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating QandAs, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne (http://patreon.com/ericpayne)
    Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care (https://epayne.me/self-care)
    Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA (https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA)
    Episode music by Epik The Dawn and Temper Beats
    If you enjoyed the episode:
    Please subscribe on your platform of choice and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? 😃
    About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
    Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

    • 25 min
    People Pleasing, Being Alone and Living In Denial

    People Pleasing, Being Alone and Living In Denial

    Moving right along from Episode 3 and just in time for Valentine's Day (if you haven't listened to it start there, actually just start at Season 1 because this is a story, not a podcast made up of standalone episodes)! It's the holidays and yours truly, Eric Payne, The Divorced Dillinger, travels home to visit the family! Before it's all over I will have eaten my way through Chicago, connected with old friends, weighed in polygamy, and held court with a trio of prayer warriors. See below for the episode acts and topics and their timestamps:
    (03:47) Act 1: Dealing With Rejection
    How rejection can manifest negatively in your life such as imposter syndrome
    A better way to view rejection and use it as a springboard for success
    (10:18) Act 2: The Power of Being Alone
    Using solitude to your advantage
    Understanding the paradox of people-pleasing and ways to go about breaking the codependent need to please others
    and why you should
    (15:10) Acts 3 and 4: Acceptance is a Hell of a Drug
    Reconnecting with old friends over the miles and the years
    The damage and dangers of living in denial and keeping secrets a.k.a. ignoring the truth
    The power of being present, accepting your circumstances for what they are, and what this means
    ---------
    Resources from the Episode :
    This episode's poem, As the Drip Drops, can be found here: http://epayne.me/poetrybook (http://epayne.me/poetrybook)
    You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch (https://epayne.me/podmerch)
    Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating QandAs, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne (http://patreon.com/ericpayne)
    Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care (https://epayne.me/self-care)
    Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA (https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA)
    Some episode music by Epik The Dawn and Temper Beats
    If you enjoyed the episode:
    Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
    If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
    If you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review and if you're really feeling generous, a written review. Why 5 stars? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give the show the opportunity to be seen by more people.
    About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
    Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

    • 31 min
    Dating An Older Man With Small Money

    Dating An Older Man With Small Money

    Fresh off my Instagram hunt from Episode 2 of Season 3 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, Episode 3 begins with a reunion (finally!) with C-Sweet Lady. Before it's all over I will have contemplated outrunning a cheetah, I transform like Optimus Prime and bravely set myself up to get rejected by my new IG Crush.
    Just a regular Tuesday in the life of your host, the Divorced Dillinger.
    Episode topics:
    Game recognize game - learning when to count your losses and move on
    Getting your swagger/groove/good juju back
    What determines your value as a person and in dating
    What to do as a man when you want to date but have limited (little) money
    ----------------
    EPISODE LINKS:
    Eric on the "Spin Bike": http://www.instagram.com/p/CKV-EFDh3H3/ (http://www.instagram.com/p/CKV-EFDh3H3/ )
    The poem, Tapestry: http://epayne.me/poetrybook (http://epayne.me/poetrybook)
    You are Beautiful, Inside and Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! https://epayne.me/podmerch (https://epayne.me/podmerch)
    Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating QandAs, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne (http://patreon.com/ericpayne)
    Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care (https://epayne.me/self-care)
    Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA (https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA)
    Support the show: https://cash.app/$epayne (https://cash.app/$epayne)
    ----------
    If you enjoyed the episode:
    Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
    If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
    If you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review and if you're really feeling generous, a written review. Why 5 stars? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give the show the opportunity to be seen by more people.
    Don't forget to use the hashtag: #datingafterdivorce

    • 33 min
    Finding Love on Instagram

    Finding Love on Instagram

    Fresh of the Birthday Debacle from Episode One, the Divorced Dillenger (Yours Truly) is coming to grips once again with being single and not wanting to just "mingle" if you get what I'm saying. So what do I do to create a love connection? I go to "The Gram!"
    Oh boy...
    Episode topics:
    Instagram, the pros and cons of the app
    Instagram, the source of much emotional and mental stress
    Instagram as a dating app, what to do and what not to do (aka "Instagram Hunting")
    How to shoot your shot on Instagram
    ----------------
    EPISODE LINKS:
    The poem, A Passing Want: http://epayne.me/poetrybook (http://epayne.me/poetrybook)
    You are Beautiful, Inside and Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! https://epayne.me/podmerch (https://epayne.me/podmerch)
    Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating QandAs, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne (http://patreon.com/ericpayne)
    Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care (https://epayne.me/self-care)
    Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA (https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA)
    Support the show: https://cash.app/$epayne (https://cash.app/$epayne)
    ----------
    If you enjoyed the episode:
    Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
    If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
    If you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review and if you're really feeling generous, a written review. Why 5 stars? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give the show the opportunity to be seen by more people.
    Don't forget to use the hashtag: #datingafterdivorce

    • 28 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
49 Ratings

49 Ratings

T-lake ,

Binge worthy!!!

There are probably only a handful of podcasts that I would label as binge worthy. This is one of them! The storytelling is fantastic, but it’s not just that. It’s this combination of storytelling from a real, sometimes raw, authentic way. But then he couples that with these life lessons and personal reflections that I think take the show to the next level. That’s something I haven’t come across before - and I listen to A LOT of podcasts. There’s a lot to rave about like the tone, timbre, production etc... but I invite you to check it out yourself. You will be hooked!

jeannixe ,

Creative, Relatable Storytelling

Eric is a great storyteller and it shows up in this podcast. What Eric shares is real, authentic and relatable.
Dating After Divorce is all at once vulnerable, engaging and funny and emotional. You get all the feels at one time, anticipating Eric’s next event/adventure/experience and before you know it you’re caught up and riding the wave with him. At the end of each episode, however, you’re left as a listener recalling, reflecting and considering your own experiences and seeing your own resolution as a possibility.

I’ve enjoyed every episode and am eagerly looking forward to Season 3.

knamahoe ,

Real talk about life and dating after divorce

Eric Payne's "Dating after Divorce" is a fun, honest look at what it's like to reenter the dating world -- with its odd, funny, confusing, annoying experiences -- after a marriage ends. This is not the usual dating podcast. Payne spins an engaging narrative. His stories ring true. He knows how to connect with our real-world experiences: What it's like to date when you have kids; dealing with the ex; dating someone younger; and why sex IS more complicated -- and why we shouldn't be cavalier about it. One episode and you'll be hooked!

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