30 min

The Illusion of Control – Threshold of Brilliance – Episode 22 – Dec 4 2023 Threshold of Brilliance

    • Self-Improvement

The Illusion of Control – Threshold of Brilliance – Episode 22 – Dec 4 2023 – Intro & Show Notes
 
Control is an illusion based in needs and insecurities we learned in our childhood.. We want it, we seek it, but most times, we only think we have control. Finding we actually can’t control most things is a major reason for stress. We act to change and control our lives, yet, most times, we find we cannot control what happens to us. The only things we have any control over are our attitudes, our responses, and our mindsets. The harder we try to have control over our situations, the less power we seem to have, our only real control is how we view what happens.
 
Our controller nature is really a saboteur of ourselves and others. It attempts to bend other’s actions into our own will. It can generate high anxiety and impatience and can run the gambit from micromanaging to my way or the highway. In the Controller’s worldview, you are either in control or out of control. A controller allows you to get short-term results but in the long run it generates resentment in others and prevents them from exercising and developing their own fullest capabilities. Its lie is that you need the Controller to generate the best results from the people around you.
 
Control also feels good because it makes us believe that we aren't under someone else's control. However, living in a controlling environment can be exhausting and often damaging to your mental health. Ultimately, being a controller, is the ultimate illusion.
 
1.     Why does wanting control happen?
2.     What’s behind that causes us to desire control?
3.     What accompanies control that takes us out as well.
4.     Can we get rid of this controlling nature? How?
 
SHOW NOTES:
 
1.     Why does wanting control happen?
a.     We want the world to be the way we think it should be – Brad
 
b.      Feeling like we have control creates the feeling we have safety. We believe that, if we don’t have control, how can we be safe? – John   
 
c.     A-E-I-O-U
                                               i.     A = Attitude – we can control our attitude
                                             ii.     E = Excellence – we can control whether or not we’re working in excellence
                                           iii.     I = Initiative – we can control whether or not we’re going to take the intiative
                                            iv.     O = Own It – we can control to own our actions, or choose not to own it and lose control
                                             v.     U = Unwavering – we can choose to become unwavering in each of these
d.      We believe that if we can control things, we can be safe, and that’s an illusion – John
e.     Feeling the need for control is part of our fight-or-flight response, we needed to analyze and make life and death decisions instantaneously in order to survive – John
f.      Today the world is more complex and overwhelming, but the threats are not really life or death anymore, yet we still feel like we need to be in control in order to feel safe – John
 
2.     What’s behind that causes us to desire control?
a.     The oldest part of the brain, the amygdala, the part that analyzed threats when there were saber tooth tigers to worry about, is there to protect us. It assumes we are either in control, or out of control. – Brad  
b.     When the amygdala feels we are out of control, it shuts downs most bodily functions other that freeze, fight, or flight. – Brad
c.     The need for control is rooted in certa

The Illusion of Control – Threshold of Brilliance – Episode 22 – Dec 4 2023 – Intro & Show Notes
 
Control is an illusion based in needs and insecurities we learned in our childhood.. We want it, we seek it, but most times, we only think we have control. Finding we actually can’t control most things is a major reason for stress. We act to change and control our lives, yet, most times, we find we cannot control what happens to us. The only things we have any control over are our attitudes, our responses, and our mindsets. The harder we try to have control over our situations, the less power we seem to have, our only real control is how we view what happens.
 
Our controller nature is really a saboteur of ourselves and others. It attempts to bend other’s actions into our own will. It can generate high anxiety and impatience and can run the gambit from micromanaging to my way or the highway. In the Controller’s worldview, you are either in control or out of control. A controller allows you to get short-term results but in the long run it generates resentment in others and prevents them from exercising and developing their own fullest capabilities. Its lie is that you need the Controller to generate the best results from the people around you.
 
Control also feels good because it makes us believe that we aren't under someone else's control. However, living in a controlling environment can be exhausting and often damaging to your mental health. Ultimately, being a controller, is the ultimate illusion.
 
1.     Why does wanting control happen?
2.     What’s behind that causes us to desire control?
3.     What accompanies control that takes us out as well.
4.     Can we get rid of this controlling nature? How?
 
SHOW NOTES:
 
1.     Why does wanting control happen?
a.     We want the world to be the way we think it should be – Brad
 
b.      Feeling like we have control creates the feeling we have safety. We believe that, if we don’t have control, how can we be safe? – John   
 
c.     A-E-I-O-U
                                               i.     A = Attitude – we can control our attitude
                                             ii.     E = Excellence – we can control whether or not we’re working in excellence
                                           iii.     I = Initiative – we can control whether or not we’re going to take the intiative
                                            iv.     O = Own It – we can control to own our actions, or choose not to own it and lose control
                                             v.     U = Unwavering – we can choose to become unwavering in each of these
d.      We believe that if we can control things, we can be safe, and that’s an illusion – John
e.     Feeling the need for control is part of our fight-or-flight response, we needed to analyze and make life and death decisions instantaneously in order to survive – John
f.      Today the world is more complex and overwhelming, but the threats are not really life or death anymore, yet we still feel like we need to be in control in order to feel safe – John
 
2.     What’s behind that causes us to desire control?
a.     The oldest part of the brain, the amygdala, the part that analyzed threats when there were saber tooth tigers to worry about, is there to protect us. It assumes we are either in control, or out of control. – Brad  
b.     When the amygdala feels we are out of control, it shuts downs most bodily functions other that freeze, fight, or flight. – Brad
c.     The need for control is rooted in certa

30 min