What's the fastest way to launch toys off of shelves and into the hands of eager, impressionable young consumers? Turning your toy franchise into a major motion picture, of course! Join Ben Paddon and Molly Alice Hoy as they boldly venture into the realm of "toyetic" cinema -- movies that were conceived and produced solely to promote toys -- and subject these glorified, feature-length commercials to a level of critical analysis that they were never intended to withstand.
#50 – Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016) – King Broccoli
In their farewell episode, Ben and Molly adopt a scorched earth policy by mentally and emotionally self-immolating with the aid of Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016). Ben finally comes into his latent supernatural powers. Molly struggles to get with the times.
#49 – Street Fighter (1994) – Eyes on the Priapsim
In this vocabulary-building penultimate episode, Ben and Molly metaphorically punch, kick, and bodyslam their way through Street Fighter (1994). Ben reveals a longtime erotic fantasy. Molly fondly reminisces about her middle school weeaboo days.
#48 – Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) – Alice in Raiderland
Ben and Molly’s continual failure to learn from their mistakes results in a regrettable viewing of Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003). Ben laments an estranged familial relationship. Molly confronts a lovingly curated selection of her deepest, darkest fears.
#47 – G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) – Dwayno
Ben and Molly spend the better part of an hour fumbling and subsequently failing to make heads or tails of G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013). Ben experiments with a bold new podcast format. Molly finally fulfills her dream of being a Hollywood starlet.
#46 – Super Mario Brothers: Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986) – Testicle Maracas
Ben and Molly are mostly successful at avoiding traumatic Episode 3 flashbacks as they take their second jaunt through the Mario universe with Super Mario Brothers: Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986). Ben uncovers Luigi’s haunting backstory. Molly gives a masterclass on proper Japanese pronunciation.
#45 – Barbie as the Island Princess (2007) – Nik, Are You Gay?
Ben and Molly take a magical, musical tour of nontraditional relationships in the polyamory-positive Barbie as the Island Princess (2007). Ben stays up past his bedtime. Molly explains where babies come from.
Customer ReviewsSee All
Cue the kazoos!
The show begins with the most excruciatingly catchy theme song (the Toyetic Toe Tapper) which will have you humming along on your imaginary kazoo for weeks to come. It's kind of a problem....but at least it is an adorable problem.
Ben and Molly are both clever, quick-witted, and simply a joy to listen to. They're so lovely it almost makes me feel bad listening to them suffer through some truly awful movies for our amusement.
You need not suffer through these films yourself to enjoy The Life Toyetic! In fact, you probably shouldn't (at least most of the time). Leave it to the experts Molly & Ben to guide you through what is a minefield of cinematic mistakes with the occasional diamond in the rough.
The Life Toyetic is not just a bad movie podcast though: it is a fun trip down memory lane, a unique perspective on movie marketing, and overall just a really enjoyable listen.
On a scale of Emoji Movie to Lego Movie scale, The Life Toyetic is definitely giving a kind hug and a cuddle to some Lego friends. If that doesn't make any sense to you, then I suggest giving this podcast a listen! It still won't make sense, but at least you will have a good time.
Friend of the show, Mrs. Jayremy
A wonderful trip through the depths of children’s cinema!
Seriously, these two hosts are the most pleasant people to have in your ears! They’re full of entertaining tangents, so don’t worry, the podcast is still fun even when the movies they watch are trash garbage!
Their suffering brings me joy
Molly and Ben are so funny and insightful, it's wonderful to listen to them try to cope with their self-inflicted torment. Who knew toy movies caused so many sexual awakenings?