The Longer Road Mattia Maurée

Capitalism has convinced us we have a lot of problems that we need to pay to fix. Surface-level problems usually have a product you can buy to "fix" them. Deep problems, such as feeling unworthy, don't have an easy fix.
 
If you are seeking to change or heal something, some general approaches I've seen work really well are:
Having it reflected back to you that this is totally normal and understandable
Unconditional positive regard
Embodiment
Reframing 
Increasing safety
Being in this moment
...while keeping in mind that all of these work when applied with self-kindness and no shame. 
 
There is nothing wrong with you.
 
Diving deeper in some previous episodes: 
Episode 10, No Perfect Method, about what works for you right now and how to trust your own intuition around teachings and teachers
Episode 5, Movement Meditation to Feel Safe (accessing embodiment, increasing safety, and being in this moment)
Episode 43, Why Change Feels Uncomfortable, about why both slow and fast change can feel uncomfortable...and more about why there's nothing wrong with you!
Some of the questions in this episode: 
Who says this is a problem? Might this be external to me? Is this voice saying it's a problem really coming from within me, or is it the voice of someone from my past or a societal voice?
In what world would this NOT be a problem? What supports or accommodations would make this not a big deal at all?
Where can you get integration support? Where can you genuinely support yourself? When do you need just a little boost?  
 
And if you would like some one-on-one support to Get Unstuck, I offer sliding scale pricing for sessions.

Why and how you may want to take a mental health day. Some specifics around truly restful rest in a variety of situations from employment to taking care of kids.
 
Book mentioned: 
Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey 
 
Three more days to enroll in Three Keys to Lazy Magic

Every creative and interesting person has experienced the feeling that at least some of their big dreams are impossible. And when the current big dream is just surviving, that can be especially challenging. 
 
I share about the emotional side of the ten years when my composition career had an almost 100% rejection rate. 
 
And I share why I'm giving this unusual advice... 
It can be healthy to temporarily let go of dreams that are stressing you out! 
 
Crisis Text Line, text HOME to 741741 to reach a volunteer Crisis Counselor on a wide variety of topics
 
Three Keys to Lazy Magic (scroll all the way down for sliding scale pricing!)
Roberta and Mattia's Instagrams, talking about Three Keys live Wed March 8 at 1:30p Eastern / 6:30p London 

The longer the timescale for even big desires/goals, the easier they feel in my brain. This episode covers why traditional goal-setting doesn't work for my brain, and what I'm currently doing instead. 
 
There is nothing wrong with you if traditional goal-setting doesn't work for you!
Expanding into more safety is always more effective than trying to force ourselves to do things we don't feel safe doing. 
And if Goal Stacking sounds useful to you, I'm having trouble quickly finding a resource to learn more that doesn't fall back on stereotypical goal-setting tropes... let me know if you want to learn more and I can do a full episode about it!
 
Book mentioned:
How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
 
And if you need support getting unstuck... 
Get Unstuck (one session)
3-Session Deep Dive

Since the podcast launched 448 days ago with an introduction to me... turns out I've changed! This intro covers the big identity updates that currently feel important: 
Reckoning again with my ideas about masculinity now that people are gendering me male more often in public
Ehlers-Danlos (EDS) diagnosis 
Re-self-diagnosing with ADHD after complex-PTSD symptoms have lessened significantly while ADHD symptoms remain
Spirituality continuing to be a comforting presence in my life, and starting to be a bit more public about it in certain ways 
Processing how I view my dad differently knowing that he's autistic, and how I feel like I relate to my abusive parents with the context of all of the above
 
If you'd like to check out the month-long course/play space Three Keys to Lazy Magic, click here. It will run from March 13-April 10 2023, co-led by magical superstar Roberta Smart (who was a guest on Episode 33). I'm excited to share more about this!!

Kimber is in rebel mode. Years after leaving the Mormon church, she continues to deconstruct everything she was taught about how the world works... including the concept of worthiness, and how we perform in order to earn love. 
She asked loved ones to create a ritual around giving birth to her own voice, and learned the power of silence. 
Three books were mentioned:
Rest is Resistance: A Manifseto by Tricia Hersey
In Praise of Slowness by Carl Honoré
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
 
Find Kimber at 
Kimberdutton.com (coaching)@thatkimbergirlJust Be Your Bad Self podcast