In this week’s episode of the Love Where You Are podcast we are continuing in our six week series asking the question: How Do I Deal With This? And today, we will be answering the question: How Do I Deal With Difficult Mother/Daughter Relationships?
Joining me to speak on this topic are author, literary agent and Founder of the Blythe Daniel Agency, Blythe Daniel and her mom, author, counselor and speaker Dr. Helen McIntosh. This amazing mother/daughter duo are the co-authors of Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters and their latest release, I Love You, Mom: Cherished Word Gifts From My Heart to Yours.
As Christians, it is our calling and desire to struggle well and respond to difficult relationships in a way that honors Christ and doesn’t derail our mission, which is ultimately to point others to Him but let’s be honest, that is hard to do when you find yourself in a relationship that is defined by someone else’s dysfunction.
Dr. Helen was raised by a mother whose anger and alcoholism caused frequent strain on their relationship. Even at a young age, and before she knew Christ, Dr. Helen set out on a mission to understand the “why” behind her mother’s behavior and purposed to establish a new approach and legacy of love once her daughter Blythe was born.
Join me for this delightful conversation as Blythe and Dr. Helen share their story, insight and wisdom and encourage listeners with God’s heart and His word as it applies to mother/daughter relationships.
Connect with Blythe on Instagram and Facebook
Connect with Dr. Helen McIntosh on Facebook
Check out all of their resources at ourmendedhearts.com and grab a copy of I Love You, Mom just in time for Mother’s Day!
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“You are just responsible for what’s on your side of the net” - Dr. Helen
I made the mistake of trying to be the fixer
Mom, I long for us to be restored, what do you think we need to do to make things better?
It’s so important to know what your thinking is and how that affects your actions - Blythe
When we can recognize that it’s not about us, it’s not - well, we should have done this or we should have done - a lot of times, it’s that the other person is making the choices and they’re saying the things that affect us but we don’t have to receive that and take it on ourselves
I bumped her cup, indeed, but what came out were her issues, not mine
Be purposeful in how you teach your children to love and how to ask for forgiveness
Extend grace and keep a fresh account between you
That which you focus on, you become like - Dr. Helen
Keep your eyes off of dysfunction and keep your eyes on the Lord
A way to show respect is to know when is the best time to speak to your loved one
Guard your space and the other person’s time
Renewing can start simply
We are disobeying God when we don’t honor the person He has given us as mother
Throughout the Bible, God is so good to renew relationships….
Intentionality is really where God wants our hearts
Choose to engage with love to build small bridges
Choose love even when you don’t feel loving
Anger is a reaction when we don’t get what we want
When you are working harder in the relationship than the other person, that’s a red flag
Make sure your side of the net is clear
We need to model good communication.
When we want to get our point across, we are not so great at listening to the other person.
We are geared to go ahead and formulate our answer to something or our next point while someone is talking.
We need to be the one initiating because otherwise it may nev