44 episodes

The definitive collection of coaching tips, communication techniques, relationship improvement advice, and training on the subject of creating, maintaining, and restoring a fulfilling and long lasting marriage. Hosted by Phillip Enkey and Benjamin Boekweg.

The Marriage Code Podcast Benjamin Boekweg & Phillip Enkey: Marriage trainers, communication coaches, and authors

    • Kids & Family
    • 5.0 • 11 Ratings

The definitive collection of coaching tips, communication techniques, relationship improvement advice, and training on the subject of creating, maintaining, and restoring a fulfilling and long lasting marriage. Hosted by Phillip Enkey and Benjamin Boekweg.

    MC 044 : Overcoming Hardship

    MC 044 : Overcoming Hardship

    Summary: One of the hosts of the Marriage Code has some life-changing news that boils up tons of emotions. Phillip and Benji tackle the issue head-on in this episode of The Marriage Code.

    “Logic and emotion are like oil and water; they don’t mix… it’s like trying to push a rope – good luck with that.” – Phillip Enkey

    Links:

    Marriage Code Podcast questions – podcast@themarriagecode.org

    In this episode:

    Send questions to podcast@themarriagecode.org

    Life changing news

    The Marital effects of financial hardship

    Change and transition

    Feeling loss of control

    Elevated Stress

    The golden opportunity

    Choose to take the positive opinion

    “This too shall pass”

    Give them their space – don’t take it personally

    The three keys to overcoming

    1 – Emotions

    2 – Develop and Action Plan

    3 – Accepting Help

    Logic vs Emotion

    Example of an Action Plan

    Trying to deny the grieving

    Action shifts Attitude

    Make a decision that this opposition is and opportunity

    “The only way to stay stuck is to stop moving.” – Benjamin Boekweg

    • 41 min
    MC 043 : Q&A – Relationship Inventory

    MC 043 : Q&A – Relationship Inventory

    Summary: It’s Q&A time at The Marraige Code. Phillip and Benji tackle some of the tough questions about Relationship Inventories.

    “The problem is that so many of us have become good at having an average marriage.” – Phillip Enkey

    Links:

    The Other Guys (2010) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDJgv1iARPg

    Fully Understanding the Tally System – The Marriage Code Episode 4 – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-004-fully-understanding-the-tally-system/

    Relationship Inventory – The Marriage Code Episode 3 – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-005-relationship-inventory/

    Marriage Code Podcast questions – podcast@themarriagecode.org

    In this episode:

    Send questions to podcast@themarriagecode.org

    Brief recap of the Tally System

    Question #2 – “What are the common mistakes you see people making with Relationship Inventory

    1) Only addressing the negative

    2) Unrealistic expectations of your first Inventory

    3) Bad timing

    4) “You” language and absolutes

    Question #1 – “What advice do you have going into my first Relationship Inventory?”

    Beginner’s Template

    Start off with the Positive

    Create the habit of open dialogue

    Manage your expectations

    Question #3 – “What if my spouse is not interested in a Relationship Inventory?”

    The Lion and the Tuna mistake

    Phillips’s Challenge – Return and Report

    • 45 min
    MC 042 : 1 Simple way to work as a team

    MC 042 : 1 Simple way to work as a team

    Summary: What does an M-16 and 2 grenades have to do with washing dishes?

    Phillip and Benji actually answer this question along with how to feel connected with your spouse and work as a team.

    Links:

    Marriage Code Podcast questions – podcast@themarriagecode.org

    In this episode:



    * Introduction…sort of

    * Benji’s injury

    * Phillip’s amazing contribution to the armed forces

    * How you get your spouse to want to help you

    * The word Phillip can’t seem to say

    * THE CHALLENGE!!!

    * Teamwork in a marriage

    * Ways to feel connected in a team

    * Games



    “If children spell love T-I-M-E, your spouse probably does too.” – Benjamin Boekweg

    • 42 min
    MC 041 : Why have this Conversation?

    MC 041 : Why have this Conversation?

    Summery: Have you ever known what the other person was going to say and you just didn’t want to hear it, and cut off the conversation short? Or have you ever wanted to talk but the other person doesn’t want to wait for your answer and ends the conversation? Does this happen frequently? Frustrating right? In this Episode, Phillip and Benji dive into the danger of cutting off the conversation and what you can do to fix that – from either side of the experience.

    Links:

    The Office: S2E22 – Casino Night – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hhYeMZdiIc

    How to get Spouse Certified – The Marraige Code Episode 10 – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-010-how-to-get-spouse-certified/

    Emotional Release – The Marriage Code Episode 9 – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-009-emotional-release/

    Active Listening – The Marriage Code Episode 3 – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-003-the-power-of-active-listening/

    What I heard vs What they meant – The Marriage Code Episode 16 – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-016-what-i-heard-vs-what-they-meant/

    Big Hero 6 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2S8D_SCAJY

    Marriage Code Podcast questions – podcast@themarriagecode.org

    In this episode:

    Cutting off the conversation

    Examples

    What can happen

    Feeling misjudged

    Being used to coming to a certain conclusion

    Effectiveness vs Efficiency

    How we make assumptions

    What we assume is most often incorrect

    Why we should not make assumptions

    The power of “What else?”

    We want to be heard more than we want to be understood

    Changing the habit of abrupt endings

    1- Stop assuming

    2- Give them space

    3- Listen and ask for more

    “The biggest cause of a fight is the feeling of not being heard.” – Benjamin Boekweg

    • 47 min
    MC 040 : How it all began

    MC 040 : How it all began

    Summary: In this Episode, Phillip and Benji celebrate the 40th episode of the podcast by talking about how The Marriage Code began, and by talking about where it is going. Also an announcement where Phillip and Benji will be speaking on June 30th.

    Links:

    Hope Cast – https://www.facebook.com/watch/KentsteadMedia/

    Zig Ziglar – Courtship after Marriage – https://www.ziglar.com/product/courtship-after-marriage

    Marriage Code Podcast questions – podcast@themarriagecode.org

    In this episode:

    Celebration of Episode #40

    The Announcement

    How The Marriage Code all began

    You don’t have to change your spouse

    The role of the sub-conscious mind

    Our point of view

    The key components of The Marriage Code

    Progress of The Marriage Code book

    Changing the paradigm



    * Believe you can change for the better

    * Get more information

    * Mirroring



    Examples of Mirroring

    “As we’ve done this, I’ve realized that anyone who has listened to this can do it too.” – Phillip Enkey

    • 43 min
    MC 039 : 4 Easy Ways to Connect

    MC 039 : 4 Easy Ways to Connect

    Summary: Spouse not feeling “connected with you”? In this episode, Phillip and Benji discuss four major ways to emotionally connect with your spouse. And describe easy ways to implement them.

    Links:

    Night at the Museum 2; guard scene – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDI-sDCzGZY&t=3s

    Marriage Code Podcast – How to Get Spouse Certified – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-010-how-to-get-spouse-certified/

    In this episode:

    Deeper into conversation

    4 Ways to Emotionally Connect

    1 – Talk to your spouse on purpose with purpose

    2 – Fight for your spouse and their dreams

    3 – Be on the “same page” in a goal or project together

    4 – Budget time to talk with your spouse

    Dating conversation model

    The roommate effect

    Fighting along side your spouse

    Do we update ourselves on how our spouse had changed?

    “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

    • 44 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
11 Ratings

11 Ratings

jmanabsolute37 ,

Simply Wow!

These guys really know their stuff! I can relate to them and to the way they tell their story. Very eye-opening.

dailywithdani ,

Very helpful!

If your looking for how to improve the communication in your marriage then this is the podcast for you. They discuss the principles of communication as well as the nuts and bolts of how to apply them. Absolutely a game changer for my marriage.

phlipdan ,

Insightful

They talk about things I'm doing in my marriage and it's really helpful to identify whats happening and hear direction on how to make it better! Really good podcast for anyone who wants to make their marriage better. Great for newlyweds all the way to those that have been married for years!

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