100 episodes

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

    • Mental Health
    • 4.6, 340 Ratings

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

    The Power of High Level Narcissist's Charm

    The Power of High Level Narcissist's Charm

    To protect ourselves from the incredible charm of the high level narcissist is essential to understand the nature of his/her gifts of beguilement and persuasion.
    Quoting from my book Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life paints a clear picture:"The high-level narcissist is gifted at radiating immense charm when he/she chooses... Charm is an energy, a vibration, a contagious optimistic state of mind. Charm beguiles; it can seduce us to do almost anything."
    It is easy for us to get swept up in the enchantment of the high level narcissist's charm. 
    The high level with this magic puts us in a kind trance that removes our doubts and fears. The high level is making us believe that we can be and have anything we want---at this moment.
    Behind closed doors with the high level narcissist the ugly, cruel, vile shadow of the narcissist is revealed in full. You are the recipient of the primitive projections, recriminations, humiliations of our partner. 
    The high level's act is so seamless that those outside of your partnership would never suspect that you are involved with such a cruel, controlling, lying, raging person.
    There is a time of awakening when you both recognize the true nature of the high level narcissist and know that you can and must separate from this highly abusive individual. You are reclaiming your rights to grow, thrive and evolve according to your own deep wisdom. 
    You move forward along your own pathway. Be proud of yourself for your perseverance, psychological and emotional stamina and spiritual strength.
    https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
     

    • 4 min
    Special Message to Empaths Married to High Level Narcissists

    Special Message to Empaths Married to High Level Narcissists

    Empaths are highly perceptive, exquisitely sensitive individuals. They are attuned to their external and internal environments. They feel deeply and are often misunderstood by spouses, family members and the world at large. 
    Empaths who are married to or partnered with high level narcissists have a particularly difficult journey. 
    In this situation empaths can accumulate tremendous amounts of oxidative stress. 
    Empaths are subject to chronic lying, primitive projections, humiliations, outrageous demands, pathological control - what you think, what you say. 
    You have chronic insomnia, no rest, problems with digestion, no respite or solitude to be quietly with yourself. 
    You have a time of clear recognition that you are entitled to moving forward as an independent, true self with all of your creative gifts, doing the work of transformation and evolution each day. 
    Give yourself credit for taking these magnificent steps of rediscovering your original self. 
    https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
    https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg
     
     

    • 5 min
    Say "No" to High Level Narcissist Exploiter - "Yes" to Yourself

    Say "No" to High Level Narcissist Exploiter - "Yes" to Yourself

    If you are married to or partnered with a high level narcissist you are possibly in a state of perpetual oxidative stress which includes insomnia, anxiety, depression, digestive disorders, headaches, etc.
    To amplify the true nature of these exceedingly cruel individuals I quote from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: "The narcissist is a master at extracting the pulp and juice of others---their time, talent, creative ideas, energies---to serve his/her purpose alone. hen he has distilled the best from yo and all that is of value to him, he discards the rest and moves on..."
    Despite their charm, charisma, endless promises, trips, grand escapes, dreams, the high level narcissist always betrays you. This is so easy for them since they don't have a conscience.  They never developed one. High level narcissists are too clever to get caught. They have the nerve to accuse you of being without a moral compass. They are shameless. 
    The high level narcissist compartmentalizes his live, often having clandestine relationships that offer thrills and excitements. Infidelity is not a part of their vocabulary. The high level knows how to expertly juggle their affairs and dalliances. 
    Going back many years you made decisions to leave the high level only to be charmed back into the relationship. 
    This time you have awakened to the true nature of the high level narcissist partner.
    You see clearly the true nature of the high level narcissistic spouse/partner.  You know without compromise that you will separate from this non relationship and move forward to fulfill the promise of your unique, precious individuality. 
    Give yourself tremendous credit for taking this road less traveled. 
    You are energized by your unique creative gifts, your inspiration, imagination, dreams.
    Rest, sleep, eat nourishing food, pure hydration, Nature, movement/exercise, the experience of beauty.
    https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
    https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg
     

    • 4 min
    Leaving the High Level Narcissist's Golden Circle

    Leaving the High Level Narcissist's Golden Circle

    Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life that sets the stage for the high level narcissist:
    "Like water cascading down a falls, compliments and tributes must flow to the narcissist at all times...Narcissists recount endless stories of his triumphs and expects others to tell him "how wonderful he is." 
    There are "members of the golden circle who are expected to provide their services at any given moment and in perpetuity." 
    "Followers of the narcissist, especially those closest to him/her, spouses, ex-spouses, mistresses, children, partners---squander their potential. They have turned themselves over to a callous exploitive parental figure who makes all the decisions."
    Members of this golden circle become exhausted by the outrageous demands of the high level narcissist, his constant rages, humiliations. "Living only to please and appease an imperious narcissist, combined with mounting erosions of their personal and professional opportunities wear very thin."
    If you have been a member of the high level narcissist's golden circle you remember the dreadful experience of what happened behind closed doors with one of these highly demanding, controlling and cruel individuals. 
    There comes a time when you recognized that you must choose to separate and leave the tarnished golden circle of the high level narcissist and become free to be your true self, to rediscover your unique creative gifts and develop healthy psychological and daily practices that enhance deep inner peace. 
    Give yourself tremendous credit for choosing your individuality and fine character. 
    https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
    https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

    • 3 min
    High Level Narcissists Are Shameless with Their Lying

    High Level Narcissists Are Shameless with Their Lying

    Lying is a serious act of betrayal. When you have a relationship with someone whom you trust and they lie to you it has painful consequences to you. Everything about this relationship is now in question, especially if it is close and of length and meaning. 
    The high level narcissist continuously lies. This is so convenient for them. 
    Quote from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: "Lying makes us feel uncomfortable, as if something is fundamentally wrong. We have a powerful visceral reaction when we lie...When e lie, we feel ashamed. ..The narcissist is not burdened by this fear. He knows he can lie and get away with it. Lying for him is a shortcut, a free ride that will get him to his destination quickly, much more efficient than telling the truth." 
    High level narcissists use many types of lying styles. One is a mechanism called revisionism: rewriting the truth. It can be the narcissist's entire biography created out of his/her imagination. From my book: "Like any good storyteller, the narcissist weaves a convincing tale that shades or perverts the truth...These life histories are long and complex testimonials to self-aggrandisement." 
    High levels lie to your face as they look deeply into your eyes, so convincingly insincere. High levels often lie by omission, leaving you with small shreds of a reality that they have created on the spot. High level narcissists are thrilled with their lying skills. 
    There comes a time when you see through the high level narcissist's webs of lies and cruel deceptions. 
    You do your research and pay attention to your discernments about the true natures of the high level narcissists. You now know that you can no longer be exploited psychologically and emotionally by this deceptive, cruel person. 
    You move through a time of awakening, a recognition and appreciation of your unique value as an individual. You deserve a relationship that is based on integrity and trust, being paired with a person of good character.
    Give yourself credit for the journey you are taking, your search and understanding of the true nature of the high level narcissist, your focus on restoration, healing, evolution and creativity.
     

    • 5 min
    Gall and Hubris - At the Core of the HIgh Level Narcissist

    Gall and Hubris - At the Core of the HIgh Level Narcissist

    Gall is a "brazen boldness coupled with assurance and insolence." 
    Hubris from ancient Greeks - "Exaggerated pride and self confidence" Ancient Greeks describe hubris as "a dangerous character flaw capable of provoking the wrath of the gods." 
    Quote from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life:
    "Today, society encourages the ascendance of high-level narcissists, rewarding them with extraordinary financial success, social status, public and private adulation."
    "The world courts high-level narcissists; they are highly prized and envied, frequently treated like royalty. The narcissist's interactions with others are shallow and venal. He (she) keeps people in his circle as long as they benefit him. When they become an inconvenience or cost him money...they are dismissed without warning...Despite this craven ruthlessness, the narcissist believes that he is an honorable human being. "
    "The narcissist is false at all times...He is practiced, a person playing a part. The narcissistic personality is the central figure in his own drama."
    Trust your fine discernments and your intuition to identify the true nature of the high level narcissist.
    Practice self care: rest, sleep, good nutrition, hydration, movement/exercise, use of your many unique creative gifts. 
    https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
    https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg
     

    • 8 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
340 Ratings

340 Ratings

Ahmedbright ,

Thanks 🙏

I am suffering from C-ptsd, and your help saved me 🙏I don’t know what could I do if I haven’t discovered your podcast, I am getting the audible version of your first book now, thanks. Ahmed

Sarah Jizzle ,

So soothing

She made me feel so much less alone on a really hard night. Great insights.

BakerReader ,

I am proof of a happy life

Dear Dr. Martinez-Lewi,
I have resonated with your sharing more than anyone on this subject. I was a blessed student (and I assume ready) when the therapist-teacher appeared in a day treatment program for depression. I had attempted suicide and luckily was guided into this program (after the 72 hours were up of course).
I was going on and on and on and on about my mother during a group session - when the therapist interrupted my rant and said very quietly "your mother is a narcissist" and from that statement forward, I have done my work, as Iyanla says - and continue to discover and grow and blossom.
As you know, there are now a lot of books and a lot of ways to learn about NPD, mostly marriage type relationships. To talk and publish about the mother/daughter relationship speaks directly to me. My mother is a beautiful, elegant, intelligent, witty, high functioning narcissist, full of rage and self hatred. I needed specifics.
Unlike a spouse of a narc, I could not leave (I ran away a few times) and I was in conflict with the hate-love teeter totter. So thank you for making it personal for me.
short note to insert: I did leave her house on my 18th birthday. I had asked her what time I was born, I hadn't ever seen my birth certificate (I was adopted by her and my dad at 12 days - yes! add a primal wound to the mix!), she said 8:10am.
I had already packed and made living arrangements, all I needed was to turn 18. November 7, 1981 at 8:15am, I left. I was going to be absolutely sure that she could not by law come after me ever again. I waited the extra 5 minutes for a buffer!
Anyway - fast forward to recovery. The key for me was an overwhelming forgiveness so profound, that to hate her, villainize or blame her is no longer possible for me. I feel a deep and alive compassion where once there was rage and sorrow that I physically felt constantly. The therapists that have walked with me through this were God sent, exactly what I needed, and they will never fully know what they mean to me. My life was literally saved.
It was winter of 2009 when I went through that program, and since then it has been a loooooong road and I am still on it.
The pain is no longer throbbing nor is it constant. In fact, something shifted for me on Mother's Day this year. I was clear about how I felt for the first time. First of all, it was about me and my child, then - remembering my mother - I felt a pang of hurt because I missed her for a second. Only good memories happened. I laughed mostly (she could be very funny), then gave her a hug in my mind, conveyed that I can't imagine how much pain she must be in to be so rage filled, and then took myself back to me. It was actually beautiful.
I went no contact years ago, but of course had to try one more time to make it work! That has been 5 years now. I have no regrets about it - just had to give it one more dose of convincing truth on a deeper level! Not fun.
She turned 85 last February. I send sincere love to her every now and then in my mind and heart - and I actually feel that it is an unconditional love - which has freed me from her grasp.
No one will ever stand between the self care you speak about and ME. Going from feeling nothing inside and many abused years and self destructive years - to behaviors of caring about myself that now come automatic is still new. And I protect this self care routine I have like my life depends on it. It does, and me to love me is nothing short of a FREAKing miracle.
Thanks for doing what you are doing. It DOES get out there and it DOES make a difference.
Thank you from my heart, Alice C Baker

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