114 episodes

An award-winning mockumentary podcast following Premier League club Ashwood City FC.

The Offensive Stakhanov

    • Comedy
    • 4.9 • 75 Ratings

An award-winning mockumentary podcast following Premier League club Ashwood City FC.

    Episode 117 - Finale: Part 1

    Episode 117 - Finale: Part 1

    Wembley Stadium plays host to the FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Ashwood City. As kick-off looms, the historic purchase of 30% of the club on behalf of the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust comes to completion. 




    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  
    Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan
    Adam Alexander as Adam Tate
    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
    Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton


    Additional Voices:
    Joel Emery




    Episode written by:
    Joel Emery


    Edited by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:
    Joel Emery




    With thanks to:
    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 24 min
    Episode 116 - Game Over

    Episode 116 - Game Over

    With a new regime being installed at the club and an FA Cup final on the way, acting Chief-Executive Jess Tate continues to assist the transition. 




    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  
    Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan
    Luke Stevenson as Gareth McAskill 
    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
    Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton


    Additional Voices:
    Joel Emery




    Episode written by:
    Joel Emery


    Edited by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:
    Joel Emery




    With thanks to:
    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 29 min
    Episode 114 - The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

    Episode 114 - The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

    Off the back of a huge FA Cup Semi-Final appearance for Ashwood City; European football is thrown into chaos as The Super League announce their arrival on the world stage.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  
    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
    Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
    Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan
    Adam Alexander as Adam Tate




    Additional Voices:
    Joel Emery
    Nalan Burgess
    Luke Stevenson


    Episode written by:
    Joel Emery


    Edited by:
    Joel Emery


    Directed by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:
    Joel Emery




    With thanks to:
    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 34 min
    Episode 113 - The Fans Doth Protest Too Much

    Episode 113 - The Fans Doth Protest Too Much

    Wembley Stadium plays host to Leicester City v Ashwood City in the FA Cup Semi-Final. A government approved test event has allocated seats for 4,000 supporters inside the 90,000 seater. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  
    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
    Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan
    Kelly Somers as Herself


    Additional Voices:
    Joel Emery


    Episode written by:
    Joel Emery


    Edited by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:
    Joel Emery




    With thanks to:
    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 22 min
    Episode 110 - The Ground of Music

    Episode 110 - The Ground of Music

    Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall enlist the help of the Ashwood City faithful to try and lift morale and improve the club's dreadful home form. Meanwhile, The Ashwood City Supporters' Trust gains momentum. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  
    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh


    Additional Voices:
    Jennifer Tierney 
    Joel Emery
    Rhys Tees
    Adam Alexander




    Episode written by:
    Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell


    Edited by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:
    Joel Emery


    With thanks to:
    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 26 min
    Episode 109 - Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

    Episode 109 - Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

    The long-awaited tribunal finally sees Kyle Francis-Clarke and The Professional Footballers' Association take on Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of Ashwood City Football Club.


    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  
    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
    Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram QC
    Esmonde Cole as KFC
    Thomas Mitchells as Judge Philip Gray


    Episode written by:
    Joel Emery


    Edited by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:
    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:
    Joel Emery


    With thanks to:
    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 28 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
75 Ratings

75 Ratings

Tone 2095 ,

One of the best Audio Dramas

The Offensive is one of the funniest and well executed “radio” dramas I’ve ever listened to. Consistently funny, incredibly entertaining, and a great critique of the “modern game.” One of only two Patreons I’m signed up for, and well worth paying the $10 a month for the highest tier. The production, the voice cast, the scripts, it’s all world class. Cannot recommend highly enough to anyone in need of a good laugh, especially about soccer.

wilsonscottsmith ,

Hilarious football fiction

I cannot believe it’s free! Truly love y’all.

pw122456 ,

Awesome

Absolutely awesome soccer podcast!!! I really love this podcast. All of the voice actors are the best in the biz and Jess Tate is phenomenal!!! Especially in ep 73 she really blew me away!! The production value of the entire show is off the charts!! I sincerely hope it’s around for a long long time!

Top Podcasts In Comedy

Listeners Also Subscribed To

More by Stakhanov