67 episodes

The podcast about three men diagnosed with chronic fatherhood.

The Paternity Test featuring Matt Boresi, Dave Engel, and Todd Jay

    • Kids & Family
    • 5.0, 31 Ratings

The podcast about three men diagnosed with chronic fatherhood.

    Episode 64 Part 2: Artisanal Quarantine Caramel

    Episode 64 Part 2: Artisanal Quarantine Caramel

    Episode 64 Part 2: Artesianal Quarantine Caramel
    The Dads continue to discuss their quarantine survival tactics, from moving woodpiles to Todd’s craft caramel and mask making. 80’s corporal punishment comes up - remember the paddle? Dave goes to the dump - perhaps to dig up some ET cartridges. Delicious Southern Restoration rat wrap recipes are shared, and tv gets so great that good isn’t worth watching anymore!
    Tune in now to the podcast where everyone generally knows some portion of your name!
    We want to hear from you!!! Send us an e-mail at paternitypodcast@gmail.com.
    And follow us on Facebook, on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram at thepaternitytest.
    Please Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review. And tell a friend while you're at it!

    • 52 min
    Episode 64 (Part 1): People or No People

    Episode 64 (Part 1): People or No People

    Episode 64 Part 1: People or No People

    All it took for us to bring back the podcast was having absolutely nothing else to do!

    Todd, Matt, AND Dave, AND special guest Joel all are all here, (You get Curly and Shemp!) and they’re trying to keep their broods occupied in the long quality time purgatory that is social distancing.

    Matt and Viva have a new game fit for the apocalypse, Joel antagonizes the other dads with good weather reports and bad death tolls, Dave tries not screw up in front of his wife when he’s ALWAYS in front of his wife, and Todd contemplates tuckering Ellie out by forcing her to dig an in-ground trampoline. You know, family stuff.

    We want to hear from you!!! Send us an e-mail at paternitypodcast@gmail.com.

    And follow us on Facebook,on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram at thepaternitytest.

    Please Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review. And tell a friend while you're at it!

    • 1 hr 5 min
    Episode 63: Mover Scott

    Episode 63: Mover Scott

    The Dads are back? The Dads are back!

    And they brought along a special friend - Scott Durbin from Imagination Movers!

    Todd and Matt talk about where they've been (Todd moving, Matt getting angry about airpods).

    They're older (Todd needs to hold onto furniture to stand up, and Matt looks like a tired Dr. Strange) but they're here.

    Todd has a teenage girl at home who is a sulking rage machine, and Matt has little kid who is very concerned about the health and welfare of former Beatles.

    And Mover Scott shares details on the making of "10-4", the Movers tenth album, his recent health scare, and the Movers concert March 30th in Chicago!

    Get the Movers new album on iTunes or wherever great music is sold, or through their web site,

    Where you can also get tickets to the concert tickets!

    Tickets also available at VittumTheatre.org. It's only a 300 seat house, with a nearly sold out performance at 1pm and a 4pm show going fast!

    E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com.

    And find us on Facebook, on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram.

    • 2 hr 3 min
    Episode 62: Hack My Thermostat

    Episode 62: Hack My Thermostat

    Episode 62: Hack My Thermostat

    They Dads are back, farmer-tanned and ready for action.

    Todd is getting good at small talk in his old age, but is it a sign of cognitive decline?

    And Todd can’t convince his soulless wife to cry along with him to sappy Dad songs. Meanwhile, Matt debates bringing his daughter to a concert she’s gonna hate.

    The Dads ponder how much they want to tie their homes to “The Internet of Things” – especially their fancy Japanese toilets. And Matt emcees some cooking demonstrations that get upstaged by a dinosaur and his hammy kid.

    E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS!

    And find us on Facebook, on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram.

    • 1 hr 15 min
    Episode 61: An Excessive Amount of Magic

    Episode 61: An Excessive Amount of Magic

    Why do Todd and Matt smell like lamb chops and adrenaline? A trip to a Brazilian steakhouse – full of traps to destroy your sausage party, like biscuits and cheese. GET THEE BEHIND ME, BISCUITS!

    In a post-Easter, breakdown, Todd and Matt are skeptical of the recent poll of “top jelly bean flavors by state”.

    Are frying pans supposed to suck?

    And in “Holidont’s”, Todd has a rudderless Easter, and Matt overdoes it so hard the cops come. And so do ants.

    E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS!

    And find us on Facebook, on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram.

    Coming to climb with us at Easter Time? Sign up at http://brooklynboulders.com/chicago/

    Thanks for listening!

    • 1 hr 14 min
    Episode 60: Nature's Bounty

    Episode 60: Nature's Bounty

    “Pony Up Daddy” is the new Dad saddle that allows your child to humiliate you in comfort. Did we need this invention?

    In “Health Beat”, Todd halves his Jube Gel intake and goes into weight loss freefall. But where to stop?

    Speaking of which, Todd bought some dubiously named workout drinks that he probably doesn’t need, but it does taste like watermelon Slurpee.

    And in “Scarred for Life”, Matt brings Viva to perform at Windy City LIVE! and has to balance between ruining showbiz for her forever and ruining her for real life forever.

    E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS!

    And find us on Facebook, on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram.

    Coming to climb with us at Easter Time? Sign up at http://brooklynboulders.com/chicago/

    Thanks for listening!

    • 52 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
31 Ratings

31 Ratings

Professor Horn ,

Read me.

If you like occasional comedy--the kind that promises to be a weekly Podcast, but delivers as frequently as paychecks from Gawker--this is the Podcast for you. Seriously though, it's mediocre.

Even still, like the WWF of the 90's, I'm hooked and can't look away. You should check it out, it can't be as bad as "Christmas Shoes".

PandaPaz ,

Funniest guys I know

I have been listening since before DM was a dad, and I have to say, even though half of them are asleep half of the time, they always make me laugh. It's like sitting with your college roommates and talking about how hard adulting is, if your roommates were theater majors at least.

Farscape29 ,

Great podcast to listen to on the Road to Insanity

I really like this show. It's comforting to know that every dad pretty much deals with the same sh!t as everyone else. It's nice to know if my car breaks down on the Slowly Going Crazy Highway, one of these guys would pull over to help, offer advice or flip me off on their way over the cliff.

Keep up the great work!

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