88 episodes

The sex is great, it's the dating and relationships that have us questioning everything.

ashleykelsch.substack.com

The Sex Is Great with Ashley Kelsch Ashley Kelsch

    • Health & Fitness

The sex is great, it's the dating and relationships that have us questioning everything.

ashleykelsch.substack.com

    Tribeza Column: Taking Life Lessons and Deep Friendships into 2023

    Tribeza Column: Taking Life Lessons and Deep Friendships into 2023

    WELL, DEAR READERS, it’s official. In just a few short days, 2022 will be the year of our past and 2023 our present future.
    As I sit here reminiscing about the year, I will admit that it wasn’t my strongest dating season. It was an endless series of dating disappointments — from one man not wishing me a happy birthday despite not being able to miss that it was my birthday to the guy that asked me out on a date only to cancel a few hours before, but then inviting me to an event along with “six of my hottest friends” — and a little bit in between.
    Today, I can laugh at moments like these. At the time, I felt like I had lost all hope. In fact, I was rendered speechless. I believe I started dating a woman after all of this, but it didn’t take long to discover I’m not actually a lesbian or bisexual. This also proved disappointing because it meant I was back to where I started. 
    Throw in some identity theft that resulted from my purse and wallet being stolen, followed by the loss of my mother and I was happy to just allow whoever stole my identity to have my life. “Here… you manage all of this,” I thought.

    Oh, did I mention the guy I dated who showed pictures of me to his friend, only for him to tell me they talked about how big my “cans” were? At first, I thought he said “hands” so I was confused. “What do you mean your friend thinks I have big hands?” I asked. Once he clarified, I was left feeling even more confused that I was talking to someone who would even say the word “cans” in the first place. For weeks, I interrogated myself. How did I let this happen?
    I could go on and on with anecdotes like those I just shared. I could lament and spill tea about all the nonsensical romantic experiences I found myself in, but it would be pointless — with the exception of laughing so hard we would cry. 
    MORE: Ashley Kelsch Offers Advice for the Complicated Holiday Season
    A few days before my mom passed away, I was in New York City for the marathon. I had seen that she called and returned her call from an Uber, unaware that she had also left me a voicemail. We were catching up about Faith and I running the marathon and the subject of my dating life came up. “I heard the excitement of possibility in your voice, Ashley,” said my mother. “I didn’t know you still had it in you.”
    “Let’s try together. Shall we? Reflect and collect all you can that was good.
    I joked with her, saying, “Mom, I’ve spent most of my adult life dating unavailable Taurus men. (Note: my mom is a Taurus.) I’ve decided to put a pin in it and just work stuff out directly with you.”
    We laughed because it was true. That was the last time we talked on the phone. A week later, I saw that she had left a voicemail and listened. 
    She talked about how she’d be riding on my shoulder and be on the tip of my heart. She told me how proud of me she was and that she was with me in spirit. She finished by saying, “So do what you’re doing. Keep doing what you’re doing. And never look back… Well, just for a break because there are some pretty damn good things to look back on.”
    This is actually what comes to mind as I think about 2023. Keep doing what we’re doing and never look back, except to find some pretty damn good things to take with us. Let’s try together. Shall we? Reflect and collect all you can that was good. I’ll go first. 
    I reconnected with the man I believed I would always end up with and who promised me no one was going to love more than he does. A story that started 20 years ago concluded with an understanding and ending neither of us predicted — we don’t work. Before that truth settled in, we found ourselves living out the things I always dreamed would happen between us. 
    I got to see and get to know my mother again, albeit briefly. I let down all my guards, and for the first time since my childhood, I received her and her love, which is a love that grows stronger each day. This also

    • 6 min
    Quiet Quitting in Relationships

    Quiet Quitting in Relationships

    Hey Mother Lovers,
    Tune in to this weeks episode where I’m explaining exactly what ‘quiet quitting’ is, how it might be showing up in your life and how we as humans are designed to do it.
    It’s this thing called the “Motivational Triad” and you need to know all about it.
    Plus, a few reminders about social conditioning and lessons you’ve been taught about quitting and being in relationships, that are driving your actions.
    In (m)Other Words, this message is going to let you in on what’s going on, on the inside, causing you to shut down but show up and/ or jump ship all together.
    You don’t want to miss it.
    xo,
    ash
    PS. If you’re enjoying Inner Momologue and In (m)Other Words, please feel free to share it with a friend. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else, I would be very grateful if you would rate, review and subscribe.
    In (m)Other Words is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.




    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

    • 16 min
    Under Pressure

    Under Pressure

    Happy Wednesday Mother Lovers,
    The navy seals when asked why they train so hard always respond with the same answer:
    “we train hard because under pressure, you don’t rise to the occasion, you sink to your level of training”
    The saying is actually, “we don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training” as said by a greek philosopher.
    I think about this saying often and refer to it while I’m training for marathons.
    But when it comes to life and it’s challenges, can we train our brains to react and respond in new ways? Raise our level of sink and create a higher baseline?
    Especially if we aren’t prepared, let alone wired to respond optimistically?
    The answer is yes.
    The last few weeks have presented me with circumstances that have been out of my control. Most are, I know.
    However, it’s caused me to pause and reflect…
    The way I used to react vs now are two very different experiences.
    It’s the difference between reacting emotionally and remaining in victimhood to honoring my emotions but choosing my responses, repairing and moving on.
    I’m sharing the tools I’ve been using, how I’ve applied them to what’s been coming up and how I even taught my teenagers to use them in their formative years. ( I share specifically how I did this and why)
    Teaching our brains how to think critically when under pressure is a skill set that can be learned, but we have to practice ahead of time.
    It doesn’t end there; we may be able to develop the skill of handling our stressors, but are we dealing with the stress that builds up in our bodies and actively releasing it?
    Tune in today for my Mother Approved process and learn:
    * A simple 5 Step Problem Solving Solution you can use next time you have a problem
    * What Fear Setting is and how to do it
    * Why your life depends on you releasing stress. I’m giving you 7 ways as taught by Emily and Amelia Nagoski from their book Burnout.
    Forward In (m)Other Words to your friends & share on social. We could all use a little mother loving coaching.

    If you’re enjoying Inner Momologue and In (m)Other Words, please feel free to share it with a friend. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else, I would be very grateful if you would rate, review and subscribe.


    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

    • 29 min
    The ONE Practice That Changed My Life

    The ONE Practice That Changed My Life

    Hi hey hello,

    Welcome to Episode One of Inner Momologue. Tune and learn about the ONE Practice that changed my life, why I insist all my clients use and understand it and how you can start practicing it today. And of course, some real life story telling about mom life and dating. It's the motherlode ;)

     

    If you’re enjoying Inner Momologue and In (m)Other Words, please feel free to share it with a friend. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else, I would be very grateful if you would rate, review and subscribe.

    Thank you always for your support.

    xo,

    ash


    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

    • 29 min
    Introducing Inner Momologue

    Introducing Inner Momologue

    Thank you for listening to our podcast, Inner Momologue! This post is public so spread the sexy word! Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite listening platform.


    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

    • 4 min
    Ep #11 Who Is Lauren? But First, A Parents Worse Nightmare

    Ep #11 Who Is Lauren? But First, A Parents Worse Nightmare

    This week Lauren and I wanted to take a moment to share with you how we met and why we chose to work together on this podcast. However, after hearing the news of the Uvalde Elementary School Shooting we felt the need to talk about the impact guns are having on our communities, overall psyche and the feeling of helplessness. 
    I have to believe that we as a society agree on more than we think, starting with our wellbeing and protection. Listen in as we discuss why we feel like we are being held hostage, the hypocrisy in thinking and that despite our different beliefs, we can do better for our children. 


    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

    • 45 min

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