Surviving through life is just not enough. It's time to THRIVE! But how do you do that? This podcast explores the skills and approaches to building a thriving life, regardless of what happens to you. Explore topics such as dealing with your thoughts, how fear gets in your way (and what you can do about that), how to shift your mindset, why you get stuck and how to get unstuck, what is real success, how to you create a life of meaning and purpose, how to shift to gratitude, how to learn to forgive, and how to build an outstanding and thriving life. Live life to the fullest. . . learn to thrive!
A couple of episodes back, I discussed some lessons I have learned in my less-than-half a year in jiu jitsu. One of my lessons was about "egoless learning." Several people asked what I meant by my ego being involved. And what's wrong with that... the ego?
Well, the ego tends to trip us up, throughout our lives. Why? Because our ego keeps us focused on how we appear, what others think of us, what we look like. And because of that, we try to keep up an image.
And because of that, we trip.
Soon after I learned to scuba dive, I decided I wanted to become an instructor. Partly because I wanted to learn more, partly because I enjoy teaching.
So, after some time of accumulating classes, dive time, and teaching experience, I was ready for my certification process. It was supposed to be a learning event. A place for me to learn more about teaching, got some feedback on how I was teaching, and demonstrated my capacity to teach.
They weren't looking for me to be the best teacher. I was at the beginning of my teaching.
That said, part of my task was to teach... so they could evaluate me and help me to be better. And to get ready, I had practiced. I created a killer PowerPoint. I had "show and tells." I just knew they would see what an amazing teacher I was. I would show them!
I finished. They offered feedback. The first piece, "You went 2 minutes longer than your limit." I was in the middle of a rebuttal, when I realized... I was not learning. I was proving. I was worried about my appearance. My ego was there.
More feedback. More temptation for rebuttal. My ego tripped me up, and I knew it wasn't the first time. When ego appears, learning disappears.
Listen to this episode to hear how ego trips us up.
Lessons from Jiu Jitsu
Trial and Error Living
Life As An Experiment
Lessons Learned As A Chaplain
Are Mis-Wants Keeping You Stuck?
Have you ever wanted something... just knowing that if you had it, you would be... happy?
And if you got it, did you find yourself happier? Not just for a few moments or days, but long-term?
Sometimes, the "buyer's remorse" sets in right after the purchase, with you realizing that no, that shiny new object didn't make you happier (and may have even become an instant burden), and no, happiness did not suddenly appear.
The term for our wanting those things that don't actually lead to satisfaction or happiness is "mis-wants." The wants we have that aren't as significant as we thought. We literally "miss" when we aim at those "wants."
And guess what? That is MORE often true than not. Rarely does that thing get us the effect we want and expect.
What DO we want? We think it is happiness.
But it isn't.
Listen to the episode for more on those Mis-Wants.
It's Not About Happiness
Purpose and Impact
The Happiness Trap
The When/Then Trap
Book: The Immutable Laws of Living
We all want confidence -- SELF-confidence. We want to be confident before we act. In other words, I want to feel confident of myself before I move toward something.
Or maybe that's just me! :-)
But I think that comes at it from the wrong direction. FEAR seems to be between us and action. Mostly because of the order we have for action:
Confidence ==> Action ==> Success.
But instead, we have:
FEAR ==> Wait for Confidence ==> Keep Waiting
If you understandt the real flow, then you can step aside and let fear pass you by, letting you take action AND gain confidence.
Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to learn more.
Fear Is A Given
New Book: Immutable Laws Of Living
How Fear Keeps You Stuck
It seems to be a specialty of mine... getting people UN-stuck. Which means I spend a fair amount of time noting what gets people stuck in the first place. Makes sense, right? If you want to get un-stuck, you need to know why you got stuck.
There are some clear reasons why people get stuck. For example, when you violate one of the 16 Immutable Laws Of Living I highlight in my latest book, you will end up stuck. Guaranteed. Which is why I try to spell them out for you, so you can get unstuck.
One area that consistently gets people stuck is fear. And the way to get un-stuck is not to eliminate fear. Mostly because it is impossible to eliminate fear. It is wired into your brain. Just part of being alive.
But, and this is the good news, you only have to do a little pivot in order to let fear help you.
Before I go into how you can pivot, though, I clarify three primary ways that fear can get you stuck (and keep you stuck). Listen to learn the three ways, and the one necessary pivot.
The Immutable Laws of Living Book
Free of Fear Series
No-Bull Ways to Change
My coaching client was wanting to thrive. He told me he was constantly studying about self-growth. But he wanted to really transform his life. And, he told me, so much of what he was reading was, to quote him, "woo-woo stuff." He used that term as a reference to ideas he thought were "out there."
So first, let me just say, what is "out there" to one person is commonplace and sensible to another. But I knew what he was saying. He wanted to change things in his life... but he wanted it based in research and reliability. He wanted to get it down to the basics.
I told him we could easily look at the "low hanging fruit," the easy things to accomplish -- the ones that give the biggest bang for the effort... pretty much guaranteed.
In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I outline 4 areas to improve, all in very "non-woowoo" ways... and very simple ways... so that you can get the biggest bang for your efforts.
Listen in for the details!
Fueling Your Body
Exercising Your Body
Resting Your Body
Dealing With Stress
Building A Thriving Life
Change in the Shadow of Terror
Sometimes, success comes from being at the right place at the right time. Sometimes, tragedy comes from being at the wrong place at the wrong time. But what happens when you are at the right place at the wrong time?
For Kushal Choksi, it saved his life. It was September 11, 2001. Kushal was running late, and rushing to get to a meeting in the World Trade Towers. He was racing through the mezzanine when a horrific impact jarred him and threw the world into chaos. What had happened? What should they do?
Some people were frozen in place. Others were fleeing the building. Still others were simply trying to get back to their day, oblivious to the danger that was mounting. Choksi headed for the door, but was met by a security guard who was imploring people to return to the building. Given the debris raining down, that made some sense.
But before he could turn, another voice and a strong hand on his shoulder said, "No, get out!" Kushal did. That decision saved his life.
And that day completely reordered Choksi's life. He was lost for some time after. What seemed like the recipe for success was floundering. It was not just about being wealthy and powerful. Somehow, the "American Dream" no longer seemed the goal.
After much seeking, Kushal found his way forward with new tools for dealing with his anxiety and fears. And that led him to another path of success.
In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, as we approach the 20th anniversary of that horrific attack, I had a chance to sit down with Kushal and talk about meaning, purpose, breath, and mindfulness.
Kushal Choksi's Website
Amazon Link to Kushal's book, On A Wing And A Prayer
Free of Fear Series
Order, Disorder, Reorder
I love how this podcast causes me to look at things deeper. For example the “can’t” and “SSC” episodes. Lee’s topics are always interesting, his voice is calming, and his invitations to apply what he’s offering are always filled with grace. Recently he had a guest on and I loved that variation.
Such a great podcast!!
Loving the conversations about dealing with challenges during quarantine.
I am so glad I discovered your podcast
Great, down to earth advice. Love listening to your podcast!