Meet leaders who recognized their own pain, worked through it, and stepped up into greater leadership. Each week, we dive into how leaders like you deal with struggle and growth so that you can lead without burnout or loneliness. If you're eager to make an impact in your community or business, Rebecca Ching, LMFT, will give you practical strategies for redefining challenges and vulnerability while becoming a better leader. Find the courage, confidence, clarity, and compassion to step up for yourself and your others--even when things feel really, really hard.
EP 44: Collective Trauma: Reliving The January 6th Insurrection with Julie Tagen - Chief of Staff to Rep. Jamie Raskin
Collective traumas and the weight of collective grief is real and rampant.There have been so many moments in just the last two years that we have all watched together that activate vicarious trauma and collective grief.The horrific milestones of COVID and COVID-related deaths, hate speech, successful attacks on our democracy, relationship ending debates about masks and vaccines, attacks on protestors, and waking up to being complacent and complicit to systemic racism.And in January, the world watched an armed insurrection in Washington DC and the relentless gaslighting and attempts to retell that day in ways the deflect accountability and culpability followed.It’s no wonder many of us began to feel helpless.But unaddressed, helplessness can quickly lead to hopelessness.Grief comes with working through vicarious and collective traumas. And grief begs to be witnessed or it turns malignant.And it is important to not rush through what we have experienced in our own lives and collectively as a culture.There is no timeline with this work but make sure you are taking the time to notice how unaddressed vicarious trauma and grief may be showing up in your life, so it doesn’t drain your courage, confidence and calm.My guest on today’s show is an incredible example of long-game resilience while riding the ups and downs of staying engaged in the political process while taking care of her well-being.Julie Tagen is the Chief of Staff to Congressman Jamie Raskin, (MD-08). She is a veteran leader in DC politics and campaigns, committed to leaving a legacy to the next generation of leaders who will continue the work she has cared so much about for over two decades.Listen to the full episode to hear:* Julie’s first-hand account of what she experienced on January 6 and what she learned about herself that day and in the aftermath* How Julie has kept cynicism at bay and how she defines success after 25+ years in politics* Why Julie believes it is critical for politicians to address the cultural issues in their communities to win voters* How Julie’s experience as a gay, Jewish woman in politics have evolved since her first job and coming out in the 90s* Why we should be paying closer attention the Congressional investigation into the events of January 6Learn more about Rebecca:* rebeccaching.com (https://www.rebeccaching.com/)* Work With Rebecca (https://www.rebeccaching.com/work-with-me)* Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email (https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5ececca2ff83f400265bbaab)Resources:* Vicarious Traumatization: An Empirical Study of the Effects of Trauma Work on Trauma Therapists (https://documentcloud.adobe.com/link/review?uri=urn:aaid:scds:US:80339e0c-a9c1-4c5f-bc9d-13060e62c66c#pageNum=1), Laurie Anne Pearlman and Paula S. Mac Ian* Transforming the Pain, Laurie Anne Pearlman and Karen W Saakvitne (https://bookshop.org/books/transforming-the-pain/9780393702330)* Four Hours At The Capitol, HBO Original Documentary (https://www.hbo.com/documentaries/four-hours-at-the-capitol)
EP 43: 2021 Review and Reflections
Rushing into the future can mean missing important data.Data, in this case, doesn’t mean points on a graph but really looking in the face of your experiences of the year. The good, the bad, the really hard, and the really exciting ones.This process helps us see patterns over the course of the year so we can see our growth and evaluate what we want to leave behind and what we want to bring with us into the new year.Rushing through the end of the year, avoiding reflection at all costs, making big promises to yourself and others to rush by the hurts and frustrations of the past year, robs us of the chance to find the best next steps for ourselves, our families, and our work.Taking the time to truly reflect on the past year is an act of Self-leadership that can support much-needed unburdening.This liminal space in the in-between of the years can be overrun with expectations and comparisons and feeling inundated with promises of what we need to do or buy that will make this year, the ‘best year ever!’.But there is power in protecting this time, in protecting your brain and your heart, so you can honor your dreams and desires for the upcoming year.Be gentle and tender with yourself, but take this time to prepare a path that is intentional and Self-led instead of reactionary.Take the time to collect the data that will help you translate what is in your head and your heart into experiences that will help you in the next year.Listen to the full episode to hear:* Structuring your reflection for your wins, your challenges, and all the things you’re grateful for, from good TV to loved onesLearn more about Rebecca:* rebeccaching.com (https://www.rebeccaching.com/)* Work With Rebecca (https://www.rebeccaching.com/work-with-me)* Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email (https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5ececca2ff83f400265bbaab)Rebecca’s 2021 Favorites:* Hacks (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11815682/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Mare of Easttown (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10155688/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0)* Ted Lasso (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10986410/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* tick, tick…BOOM! (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8721424/?ref_=fn_al_tt_6)* Violet (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6852672/)* Billions (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4270492/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Nine Perfect Strangers (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8760932/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Grey’s Anatomy (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0413573/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Law and Order: SVU (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203259/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0)* New Amsterdam (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7817340/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* The Morning Show (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7203552/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* A Boy Called Christmas (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10187208/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Only Murders in the Building (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12851524/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* This Is Us (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5555260/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Cruel Summer (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11083696/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* You (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7335184/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Cobra Kai (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7221388/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)* Colin in Black & White (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12624928/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_5)*
EP 42: Leading By Owning Your Activism with Karen Walrond
If you are a leader who embodies activism, you are moved by personal convictions that see beyond yourself and the bottom line. You boldly desire to make intentional change that will impact another person, your family, where you work, our planet....
EP 41: Leading Yourself First with Moorea Seal
What motivates your dreams is just as important as the dream itself.Maybe even more important.These dreams for your future inform your daily decisions and where you focus your time, energy, and resources, and they impact how you lead yourself and others.They fuel the drive that motivates you to get up each day as you do the important–and sometimes tedious–practices that build the future you want for yourself and the world.They support moving from a vision or idea to action, creating the reality you have always longed for.The tricky thing about your desires for the future is they require understanding your past and any pain it holds.No matter how smart the parts of you are that strategize and plan - if you are not clear on the echoes of your pains, losses, and unmet needs then they can become interwoven with your vision for your future.And if you are not aware of these influences, they can drive you in ways you may not be aware of, setting you up for burnout and dissatisfaction when your dreams are actually achieved.My guest today realized she achieved the dreams she had been striving for and did not feel how she had hoped. This led her on a powerful journey of self-discovery and deconstruction on how she viewed herself, her work, and her relationships.Moorea Seal is a Seattle-based author, speaker and multidisciplinary artist, as well as an avid list maker with over one million books, journals and stationery products in print. Her passion lies in helping people of all ages to list out their needs, desires, dreams and goals and rewrite personal narratives while providing resources for happiness, resilience and self-expression. Her latest journal, "My 52 Lists Project," guided self-exploratory list-making for kids is in retailers worldwide now.Listen to the full episode to hear:* How Moorea’s childhood lack of stability influenced what she thought of as success, and why achieving her dream didn’t feel successful or stable* Why the performative aspect of having a namesake store and brand-led to overcommitment and burnout* How big achievements brought home the difference between love and acceptance and being validated and valued for what she can do* Why Moorea chooses to speak openly about mental health challenges, and why she says it’s vital to offer a resolution and resources when telling your story* How getting a formal autism diagnosis has impacted Moorea’s relationship to being an “accidental” influencer and what she recognizes as her superpowersLearn more about Moorea:* MooreaSeal.com (https://www.mooreaseal.com/)* Instagram: @MooreaSeal (https://www.instagram.com/mooreaseal)* Pinterest: @MooreaSeal (https://www.pinterest.com/mooreaseal/)Learn more about Rebecca:* rebeccaching.com (https://www.rebeccaching.com/)* Work With Rebecca (https://www.rebeccaching.com/work-with-me)* Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email (https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5ececca2ff83f400265bbaab)
EP 40: Leading Authentically After Hard Falls with Ref Rodriguez, EdD
What drives you can make you or break you.We often look to our values, commitments, and operations as a map to how we do life and work.But there are things that get in the way of honoring our commitments to ourselves and those we serve - no matter what we have professed as our values and mission.The messages that tell us we are not enough. We have to do more or get more. We have to over-deliver and never disappoint.These shame-based messages get in the way of our ability to make our aspired values consistently lived in action.Shame is insidious, sneaky and can become a powerful driving force in our lives if we do not get clear on what is driving us and why we are making the choices we do day in and day out.Until you look at your own unique experience of shame and what drives it, shame will continue to chip away at your capacity for courage and convince you to compromise your integrity.Getting granular about what drives you - and why - can reveal some hard truths and important data that can help you lead yourself and others without dodging the messages of shame.And that is exactly what my guest today chose to do. After a very public fall - he was forced to look at how he ended up where he did and what needed tending.Ref Rodriguez is a social entrepreneur who has spent his career starting organizations and programs whose mission is to change the life trajectories of those most affected by educational, economic, and social injustice.He has served as a classroom teacher, school principal, administrator, university professor, and elected school board member. At 27 he founded a charter middle school in his home community of northeast Los Angeles. He went on to co-found a network of high-performing charter schools serving low-income first-generation college-going students in Los Angeles. He is currently working on a program to significantly improve the educational and life outcomes of Black and Latino males attending California’s community colleges.Listen to the full episode to hear:* How running for office brought up Ref’s long-held feelings of loneliness, shame, and of not being enough* How self-doubt and shame led Ref back to old patterns of guarding his authentic self and the impacts that had on his physical and mental health* Why a major victory created conflicting feelings of joy and self-doubt* How a mistake influenced by feelings of not being enough turned into a very public and agonizing fall, and the healing that has come after itLearn more about Rebecca:* rebeccaching.com (https://www.rebeccaching.com/)* Work With Rebecca (https://www.rebeccaching.com/work-with-me)* Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email (https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5ececca2ff83f400265bbaab)
EP 39: Leading with Generosity and Love with Terces Engelhart
Leading with questions instead of leading with answers is a powerful practice.Sure, in times of crisis, steady, knowing leadership is calming and often necessary.But the pressure to have all the answers all the time limits creativity and possibility.Having the capacity to ask questions instead of offering all the answers is what brings out the best in you and those around you.When you move from a position of knowing to one of curiosity you build trust, both within yourself and in those around you.Not knowing all the answers has the ability to deepen team cohesion and cultivate creativity and innovation that would never have come from you trying to figure it all out on your own.Yet so many leaders feel a responsibility to have everything figured out and they push themselves to exhaustion for fear of anyone finding out that they don’t have all the answers.But courage reminds us that there is a different way to lead and it supports our ability to be vulnerable and say, “I don’t know.”Today’s guest spent a year doing just that as a way to deepen her recovery and capacity to lead herself and others well.Terces Engelhart (http://tercesengelhart.com/) is the founder of Cafe Gratitude and Gracias Madre plant-based restaurants. Her heart is in serving others and her life’s lessons are the springboard of the stories she shares where her challenges have become opportunities. In 2014 she participated in TEDx at Occidental College. She recently launched her podcast called Unreasonably Grateful (https://unreasonablygrateful.com/). Her calling is to help people trust their inner guidance. She is an author, speaker, wife, mother and grandmother of thirteen. She lives and works on their organic farm, Be Love Farm (https://www.belovefarm.com/), with her husband, Matthew, in Vacaville, Ca.Listen to the full episode to hear:* How Terces processed a betrayal in her team by committing to let go, but keep caring* Four directives that have guided her recovery and the way she lives today* How her love of learning helps Terces keep going, and start over when she fails* How answering questions with “I don’t know” helped her heal a need for control* Why Terces sees generosity and gratitude as states of flowContent note: This episode discusses eating disorders, sexual abuse and addiction.Learn more about Terces Engelhart:* TercesEngelhart.com (http://tercesengelhart.com/)* Be Love Farm (https://www.belovefarm.com/)* Instagram: @terces (https://www.instagram.com/terces/) @BeLoveFarm (https://www.instagram.com/belovefarm/)* Unreasonably Grateful (https://unreasonablygrateful.com/) PodcastLearn more about Rebecca:* rebeccaching.com (https://www.rebeccaching.com/)* Work With Rebecca (https://www.rebeccaching.com/work-with-me)* Sign up for the Weekly Rumble Email (https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5ececca2ff83f400265bbaab)Resources:* Kiss the Ground
Excellent leadership podcast
I have followed and benefitted from Rebecca's wisdom and talents for many years, but as I've taken on more leadership roles in my own life, I have really appreciated this podcast. The guests she brings on and the insights they share have helped bring clarity to some of my own experiences and given me useful strategies for better serving my clients and the folks I get to lead.
I particularly appreciated her episode with Terces that helped me label a recent work experience as betrayal, which gave me the language I needed to help me process the experience and move forward. Her episode with Ref Rodriguez was also excellent and I so appreciate how Rebecca welcomes guests to bring their whole selves, modelling how letting ourselves be nuanced and emotional beings is an asset to our leadership and how we are able to show up in the world.
My go to expert
Rebecca is my go to expert for all things managing the mental game of leadership, entrepreneurship and become your personal best
@schulmanArt host of The Inspiration Place podcast
Intelligent and Refreshing
I love the topics Rebecca brings to the table. The interviews are thoughtful and relevant and I appreciate hearing her perspective on self leadership and the expertise she brings to the conversation with her education and training as a therapist.