The Version of Love We Inherited

Start here: thefaninthewindow.com/start

There’s a version of love that jumps in front of everything so your child never has to feel it. And there’s a version that learns to hang back, to ask what they need instead of deciding, to trust that the feeling won’t break them.

Most of us were never shown the second one. So, we defaulted to the first one—and called it love. Because it was. It was also something we inherited.

Today’s guests are two people who figured out the difference—and are doing it in real time, inside their own relationship, in front of three children who are watching everything.  

Lavinia Brown is a trauma-informed psychodynamic coach who supports mothers in becoming the conscious parents and connected partners they want to be through healing their inner child. She holds a master’s from Oxford University and is a certified clinical trauma specialist through the Arizona Trauma Institute.

Andrew Lynn is a trauma-informed coach and Lavinia’s partner in both life and work. Together they co-host Becoming Untriggered—a podcast in the top 5% globally.

IN THIS EPISODE — How Lavinia and Andrew went from World War III in year one to doing this work professionally together

— What shame actually is—and why it sits at the lowest frequency of every human emotion

— The difference between role modeling and what you bring energetically to your children

— What attuned leadership looks like when you’re triggered by your own kid

— Why talk therapy alone may not be enough—and what an integrated approach actually requires

— What to do if you’ve been doing the work and you’re still stuck

CONTENT NOTE

This episode discusses inherited trauma, childhood wounds, volatile conflict, and emotional patterns in adult relationships and parenting. Please listen at your own pace.

In the U.S., call or text 988—free, confidential, 24/7. Outside the U.S.: findahelpline.com. You do not have to navigate this alone.

FIND LAVINIA & ANDREW

Lavinia: laviniabrown.com

Instagram / Facebook / YouTube: the.innerchild.healing.expert

Andrew: andrewlynn.net

Podcast: Becoming Untriggered on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube

GET THE BOOK

The Fan in the Window: How We Inherit Trauma—And How We Interrupt It amazon.com/author/tressalbell

Coming Soon: You Can Interrupt It: A Practical Guide for the Parent Who Inherited Trauma and Swore They'd Do It Differently

If the memoir gave you the story, this book gives you the roadmap. Built around the Interruption Model™—practical tools for doing the work one pattern at a time. Stay connected at thefaninthewindow.com for updates.

FOLLOW TRESSA

thefaninthewindow.com

Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube: @tressalbell

Substack: tressalbell.substack.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tressa-l-bell-31830440a

If this episode resonated, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts.

This didn’t start with you…but you can interrupt it.