The Worst Idea Of All Time Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt

Another screening of Fast and Furious (aka Fast Four) and so much more to talk about! How would someone reading a newspaper after his conviction feel about Dom Toretto? In honour of this film's unguarded, unvarnished and dated dedication to Butt Women, the lads then discuss the uncanny valley of butts—including the crazy idea of a butt where the right cheek is next to the left cheek (but the left cheek is on the right). Tim is both amused and fascinated by a double flag situation in the top dog's office at the FBI, leading to discussion of the world's best flags. Meanwhile Guy is drawn towards the way both Dom Toretto (and Vin Diesel as an actor) struggle to drink a beer in a way that is sufficiently cool.
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Tim is deep in the weeds of Fast 4 plot details—a quest that Guy takes pride in Tim for being on but has not joined him on in this screening. The fellaz try to figure out where on the offensiveness scale Twit, Twerp, Dweeb, Moron, Idiot and Stupid sit, and then get to the important business of figuring out which five cars from the movie Tim would like to have sex with and how to go about courting them.
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Fast & Furious, aka Fast Four, is a movie in which we find out Letty has died by, GET THIS, being told out loud rather than shown. In the magnificent visual medium of film (marketed as "movies" because it's moving pictures), these dickheads disrespect the female lead of this franchise so massively, it is genuinely jarring for the fellaz. Brian (Paul Walker) and Dom (Vin mother-f'ing Diesel) are forced to work together to take down a drug lord after Dom and the fam kick off this flick stealing a gosh darn oil tanker in the opening moments of this Furious chapter. As per, Tim and Guy wander into foreign conversational territory such as establishing which sport each of them would be most likely to enter the Olympics with, the phenomenon of catching someone else's dreams, and the possibility of simply walking out of your own life.
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The boys are joined by Alice Snedden to wave goodbye to Fast Five! Guy has Devil Energy and Alice is spoiling for a fight. In a far reaching conversation, Alice shares some honest acting assessments before discussing which family members she'd like to see sucking each other's dicks. Tim is on the back end of a cool, fun weekend and Guy appears hell-bent on antagonizing anyone who even looks at him. The episode—as so often happens when joined by the Sned-head—is an even balance of reflections on the film and life itself.
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Who would win a fight between Christ the Redeemer and the Statue of Liberty? Should Tim save up a bit of coin and start dressing like Han? Will Guy ever fulfill his dream of being friends with Paul Walker? A workmanlike watch and podcast as the movie once again fails to get its hooks into the boys. Their frustration is not with the franchise, not with the movie, not even with themselves. These are some lads who are modelling their work ethic on the music of Dolly Parton, working 9 to 5. And may we say; What a way to make a living!
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Tim has been hiking through Stewart Island with two of his oldest and best friends in preparation for this very screening. Guy has visited Melbourne, enjoyed himself for a few days, and downloaded Fast Five onto his phone—all to ensure he is in an optimal mental state to enjoy the film. The boys take roughly twenty-five minutes to even begin talking about Fast Five. The movie—and this remains a quality movie—is not where their heads are at. Tim admires a tree exploding in the film, Guy enjoys some cinematography. At the end of quite a pleasant and meandering conversation, the boys give an honest assessment of both the film and their performance in this episode.
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