THE YUMMY WAY PODCAST Danét & Lar Palmer

In today’s episode we talking about how we find and live from each of our own integrity to true self verses out of obligation or deferring to some perceived authority.

It’s amazing how quickly we can defer to a so-called authority, when a seeming crisis happens and loose touch with your genuine personal experience. So often, at times like this, we give authority figures the power to tell us how we should feel.
It’s almost like ‘shit man, I’ve been going along doing fine, and now I’ve got this ‘problem’ that now I’ve got to fix.’
And if you get obsessive about it, your life gets really small.

Life becomes about a problem to be fixed — rather than a life to be lived.

If you’re loosing your center of peace, and fixating on the so-called problem, it feels icky. You’re no longer receiving life as it comes in and flowing with life, you’re identifying with the problem or problem fixing. For instance, I’ve got a heart condition, so now that becomes a new identity. But once we notice that tightening around the problem fixing identity, we can readjust by accepting that this new experience is now part of my new reality.

We’ve got to remember that ultimately we are the greatest authority for our lives — we’ve got our yummy-stat, showing us if we’ve compromised our personal power, and giving it to an authority outside ourselves — it feels icky.
Sure they can offer valuable information and suggestions. It is our responsibility to bring that information to counsel with our inner being that has our best interest —always!

There’s no chance the wrong thing is happening. Pay attention to where you are resisting the actuality of your current situation… relax & let go… Accept what is, because that is the gift this present moment is offering you. You can only live in this moment. Taking predictive action, because an authority said if you don’t do this, then that will happen, needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Does it feel loving and joyful to move in that direction? Or is fear of consequences motivating you?

Being aware of your yummy-stat constantly redirecting you to you inner truth, your true authority is crucial. When you do, you can deal with any situation that occurs — even a heart condition, a broken back or cancer. Nothing is ever happening you can’t deal with with with acceptance and love. If it’s your experience, you have what it takes to deal with it. Period.

Every experience is divine. Being who you are is your only job in this life. Accepting yourself as you are lets you live authentically — you are at home with yourself and you can live from love.
You’re no longer trying to get something from life — you’re serving the moment given you right now and you can love all of it.

https://theyummyway.com/

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We’re always living with uncertainty. We just think we have control. None of us really know what’s going to happen next. We only have now and we have the ability to be fully present and actively alive and awake to what is happening right now.
Am I resisting and spinning a story of future catastrophe, or am I accepting what’s happening now, with Love and Joy?

Living with cancer constantly brings this point home.

We have a tendency to predict and plan, imagining we can mitigate our personal, fearful possible future scenarios. But they aren’t reality. That’s imagination. The ego’s job is to create problems to solve — to predict catastrophic outcomes.
If you’ve identified yourself as a problem-solver, you’re always making up problems to solve.
All problems are only problems because we’ve rejected reality and we’ve labeled what’s happening as a problem. But that’s just mental gymnastics.
In actuality, you’re fine. Right here and now. You’re dealing. This is life.

There’s always another way of looking at your situation. To think, “perhaps, life is really going my way right now — how might that way be?”

Lar shares about a situation at work where he initially resisted, but then opened his mind to this perspective that YES! This is just what I wanted! Thank you! Everything goes my way!

And I share about some of the mental gymnastics I got up to doing some yummy book launch parties and surrendering to the flow of each present moment.

Each of us is writing our own story and each story is ALL our stories… We are humankind and we are glorious!!!

Once you get away from the ego running things and you really look at what’s important, and what’s the reality of what’s happening. And you’re not trying to make something happen —you’re not trying to meet some criteria. — You’re just experiencing the all-ness of what you get to experience — It’s absolutely YUMMY exactly as it is!

If you can just keep in mind, that there is no chance the wrong thing is happening — none of us know what that will be — you can live in uncertainty with equanimity…

Life is aways confirming that you’re right where you’re supposed to be and it’s easy to see  if you’re open to seeing it.

Life is going your way — if you’re not experiencing that, you’re just getting in they way of experiencing it, with your mental gymnastics.

We share the way we work with emotions that arise, say, while watching television, and how we allow emotions to arise, own them, and in taking responsibility, we question our beliefs and decisions… and how we bring choice and transformation into our conversation and lives.

Thanks for joining us for another yummy conversation about living The Yummy Way!
And recognizing when we’re not.. and turning the dial toward accountability so you can live present in the moment you are in. — Being fully in the present moment is death to the ego. Because Love and ego can’t occupy the same space.
Love & present Joy, is the yummy way!

It is our joy to share them with you. We’d love to hear from you!

https://theyummyway.com/

In today’s podcast episode we’re talking about how we’re constantly getting derailed from presence in the moment we’re in, by jumping into reacting to the stimuli in front of us as if we’re actually part of it. We leave our presence in favor of judgement about what should or shouldn’t be happening — or what so-and-so shouldn’t or should be saying. But it’s not even our reality. 

The moment in front of you is reality. What’s happening right here and now. For example, what’s actually happening is you are sitting holding your phone and looking at the screen and reading your newsfeed. Perhaps you’re doomscrolling what’s happening in Ukraine or the political scene or what someone posted on FB.
You’re noticing you’re feeling upset about what your reading. Because you don’t like what you’re reading. You make judgements about the thing you’re reading as if you’re a participant in the scenario you’re reading about. You’re taking sides mentally. Now, you tell someone else about it as if it is a real thing. 
But the actuality of you’re reality is that you’re sitting looking at a phone screen and the rest is imagination, based on your conditioned beliefs and sense of self.  
Lar talks about a situation he read about on his newsfeed and how he instantly judged the situation and what that said about who persons involved were. 
But by bringing it to the light of awareness and into conversation, he saw the short-term payoff of self-righteous judgement, and furthermore, he was able to see that his judgment was a reaction based in a set of fearful beliefs about what ‘might’ happen if they are right. 
But with further exploration, we were able to see that imaging what should and shouldn’t happen is a fantasy to give us a false sense of control over what we actually have no control over. 
It’s way outside of being present and accounting to your immediate choice of how we want to experience what’s happening. When you notice that you’re caught up in the scenario, as if it is your reality, that’s a prefect opportunity to see where it is you are holding yourself.

What’s happening is not what’s bothering you — What you thinking about it, is what’s bothering you. But what’s happening is actually always innocent. Life is happening, and what we’re experiencing is our reaction to the information coming into our moment and we decide whether we’re going to bother ourselves with it or not. By accepting it all, our hearts become available to add love to the collective energy pool.

Judgment can seem automatic — especially when we’re doomscrolling our newsfeeds, right?
But reality is this moment. You’re reading information on a screen.  It’s just words on a screen, actually. You’re having a reaction to what you’re reading,  you can notice your attaching your identity to what you think is a ‘right side’ of it, and that tells you that you have a belief that there’s a right and wrong. You can ask yourself: how much do you want to attach to that stance?  How much peace are you willing to sacrifice to that ‘rightness?’ 

In order to restore yourself to peace, you have to accept all of it. Accepting lets your whole being come into play. And with it, the ability to make a choice that is more aligned with your whole being — your essential being.

Experiences happen and as they happen, if we let them move though us — that’s experiencing life. 
Love is a power that needs nothing else. We have this moment before us, and our experience of it. 
Ask yourself, in each given moment, what is your integrity? 
Remind yourself:
It’s not my business to condone or to judge. 
It’s my business to accept reality as it is in my reality. 
But I can be conscientious about where I’m coming from and what I’m going to do with it. 
https://theyummyway.com/

In today’s episode we’re talking the emotional journey we’re experiencing living with cancer and about staying in the conversation as emotions shift and change. Low grade depression, grief, moments of elation and the constant acceptance of life as it’s showing up at this moment.

Lar talks about some specifics in his physical health and his responses: confusion, resistance, surrender and ultimately acceptance. He talks about how the docs immediately offered antidepressants to manage his moods. What we did with this is bring it into our ongoing conversation. It’s like once you become aware of something, you realize you’re already allowing it, so now you can actively accept what is.

We invite everything into conversation.
Here we question what the true motives are behind choices we’re making on a daily basis. Am I using my cancer to avoid things I think I should be doing — or even things I want to do, but don’t seem to be taking any action toward? Or do I actually have depression?
By bringing it all into the conversation an ease about it takes over.
In accepting that yes, I maybe I am depressed and that has been using up vital energy — that’s the way of it right now.

The cool thing about facing and owning that depression is part of what’s going on —that it shifts the energy — ever so slightly, but continually none the less.
The result has been a renewed simplicity in naturally taking small incremental actions we’re now feeling aligned with… And that is enough.
The energy is now circulating. It might be a completely different pace than what you’re use to, but this is the now normal — and this now normal will shift again. Accepting the shifting and changing is key. Everything is about accepting what is —right here and right now.

We can’t control what cancer’s doing. But we can make choices about the attitude by which we approach it.  By being in the present moment and being willingly intimate with what’s happening, we notice all the little subtleties than can easily be passed over. Just acknowledging what’s happening stops what the ego’s trying to do. The ego’s job is to take you out of the present moment and create an imaginary problem, that it can get you to fixate on fixing something. 
It’s not just depression, it’s grief about an imagined future that perpetuates the cycle. But acknowledging it, brings us back to presence. Once present, we see this is fine. It is enough. We are living with it.

We’ve just accepted the BOLD invitation from cancer to be extremely present moment focused and now we can laugh about the tendency to futurize…

Noticing this ego dance dispels it’s power, and brings you back to the present moment. That, we can deal with. We can be with what’s happening emotionally, embrace it and all answers to come. And sometimes, there are no answers.
And you’re always embracing the unknown.

Part of life’s dance we’ve been experiencing simultaneously has been my experience being an author and bringing a new book into the world. There’s a lot more unknown than known for me. Bringing myself present when I notice myself getting caught up in ‘what I need to to’ and away from the excitement of the journey, has been a big part our conversation as well.

Bringing it into our conversation brings me back to the knowledge that only the right thing is going to happen. Because joy is my guide. Everything goes my way.
If it doesn’t feel yummy, I’m out of alignment with my true self — the yummy loving being that is ME!
By breathing, presencing and bringing myself back to myself, and inviting the circumstances that lend themselves to being out of alignment, into our conversation, it brings everything back to the present and we laugh about the crazy shit the mind gets up to.
Just as it is with cancer in our lives!

https://theyummyway.com

Lyn Gregory — my experience of reading the book  —the comprehensive and cohesive elegant way you strung together the moments of your life created something that is really just such an exquisite memoir …  You toss off nuggets that are so profound that happen, and while I’m reeling from the truth of that moment and the truth of what you’ve realized, and you’re already onto the next sentence — and I’m like, I’ve got to stop and really absorb this. So, even though this was such a compelling and propulsive read, I had to slow down, so I felt like could really, totally understand all the levels of which this was impacting me.
There are things you share, where I felt like, like with meditation, where you share the internal surrender that is necessary in meditation, to find the peace we seek. 
One of the characters you create so vividly on the page is Betty. You can feel the love in every sentence of that relationship where you take her wisdom and integrate it into your life. About living every moment fully. You distill things to their essence. 

Moira Novak — The action happens immediately - it’s like a James Bond movie. There’s so many moment that are impactful. I had to slow down so purposefully. I teach mindfulness, and started putting down the ways you show us the moment to moment practice of mindfulness.  And it doesn’t feel like being pushed and pulled into a way of thinking but this was a happening. The intellectual understanding and embodiment of how you practice it and showing it in the simplicity. You don’t make a doing of the surrendering, but there is a letting go process. You’re very vulnerable about saying this is a lot of work, but it’s not the kind of work you can do in a rush. It’s an every day,  moment by moment awareness of what you were experiencing, non-judgmentally. Willing to be kind to yourself.  If anything, I’d say this is a lesson in self-compassion. The work is inside. 
There was a passage that struck me so much that I kept rereading it that it impacted me so much, I wrote it down. You said, “About attending first to the love and joy of my own being so that the overflow is available for others.” We only have to give to others, what is overflowing in us. We see that time and time again throughout the book. I learned so much about how give myself self-compassion without feeling week. I loved how you baptized yourself in the shower — the willingness to accept that grace from the Divine. 

Brian Harris — I was able to live the transformation through your story — it’s like the owners manual for changing your perception and and life. It’s like a step -by-step guide through example. It is all so inspiring for anyone trying to change — this is going to be that catalyst for for a lot of people. You made a lot of decisions at critical moments in your life that, you were able to tune into your inner guidance system to make these decisions that accelerated your spiritual growth and evolution, that we’re routing for you every step of the way. People that read this will be able to relate to, if not the horrific experiences specifically, but the lessons they can gain through reading your process, without going through all themselves.

Patricia York — You lay down your life and accept a new one. You show by your example, how transformation happens. The imagery is so beautiful, the metaphor and symbolism you use, is what makes the reader stop and show down and fall in love with this moment with the author. 
What I say was that surrender isn’t just giving in, it is saying ‘I don’t know how to do this.’ I makes the reader want what you have. I love the smell imagery, and how that ties to how you relate it with Betty. 
There’s not a lot of exposition, it’s just beautiful, simple statements that make you stop and think about.
I loved your dedication in your book. You claim being the amazing woman she always knew you were.

Keri Maughan — the overarching theme of redemption, underpinnings of reconciliation and redemption with the other characters; mother, father, children. Each character has their own redemption story. The tapestry of life  is being rewoven. You systematically show us how to recognized truth. The truth within ourself — how you feel inside speaks to you about your truth.
More than a one-time read —It’s a formula for personal integrity. “Pure Love leans us toward integrity.” Show up for yourself, then you can show up for others. 
Speaks to the raw ugliness of life all of living life in its depth and surrender coming into hope and reconciliation with the Divine. There is a formula to come to yourself and be whole again. 
The thematic is one of love and acceptance. Of redemption and reconciliation and transformation for every character. 
The letter to the Divine, the honesty and surrender and willingness to be made new. 
Recognition of Divine Love and letting love in. The relationship with your children — accepting their anger. 
Debunking the lies of childhood and self deception, accept and forgive and heal.

Cynthia Holman-Schmidt — the Raw honesty throughout. The miracle of forgiveness and healing with Dad. The bond through A Course in Miracles. The truth is the truth and come from many sources. 
The commitment to the morning date with God. The yummy-stat guide, yummy is feeling aligned. 
The equitable transformation of both parties in relationships. Accepting that everyone is just doing the best they can.

Emma Dugal — They heroine’s journey — transformation and alchemy — it’s the journey from shame to love. I makes one feel like if she can do it, so can I. 
The relationship with Betty, the breaking down false beliefs and allowing understanding and love. 
Doesn’t mean you rollover, but to stand up and have your voice when its necessary. And claim your power.
The crux of it is the reconciliation with God. Healing the shame — You’ve  woven this tapestry of this story of your perception  

Shar Pittman — you’re my Betty and following your path has led me to redemption and permission to be myself and love it. Reconcile what we do when our child is harmed
The book is like a guide. How you see each person as a savior. Love is the answer. 
This is a book for the recovery community. 
You show us how ‘if I’m not the problem, there is no solution.’ You show how your perception is everything. Take ownership, and use the tools to change perception. Aligning with love — And choosing to see things through love.
Also the them of “Everything goes my way.” No matter what’s happening — it’s trust in Life.
This book will be a study of  transformation for others. 
It is an invitation for others to find their own connection to the Divine — it’s a non-threatening permission to ask for help and accept it.