49 min

Things your autistic/ADHD kid doesn't understand about friends Social Skills Unscripted

    • Parenting

In our weekly social groups, we are finally talking about friends! We've been building up to this point for a while. 

 

Any time we learn something new, there's also some unlearning that has to happen. That's what has been going on in our groups: I am helping students unlearn what they THINK friendship is. Over the years, I've realized and recognized several different misconceptions our kids have when it comes to who friends are, and how to actually make them.

 

In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm sharing these misconceptions, why they matter, and what actually has to happen for our kids (or anyone, really) to make friends.

  

Here's a clip from the episode:

You may be thinking, wondering, why does it really matter? Why does it matter if my kiddo refers to other people as friends, even when they're not? Why does it matter if my kiddo thinks he has 14 friends even when he doesn't? It matters because the expectations... the social expectations between acquaintances and friends are different.



A great example is that we are expected to engage in small talk when we run into one of our acquaintances. But even things like the question: How's it going? Or: How are you? When an acquaintance asks us that question, the expected response is the social fake. It's something like, 'I'm good', 'I'm okay, how are you?' Even if we're not good, or if we're not okay. With an acquaintance, we're just trying to be polite and friendly. And so usually we do the social fake, even if things aren't really so great. It would be really awkward for an acquaintance to ask us how we're doing and for us to unload on them about how we've had a really rough day.

In our weekly social groups, we are finally talking about friends! We've been building up to this point for a while. 

 

Any time we learn something new, there's also some unlearning that has to happen. That's what has been going on in our groups: I am helping students unlearn what they THINK friendship is. Over the years, I've realized and recognized several different misconceptions our kids have when it comes to who friends are, and how to actually make them.

 

In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm sharing these misconceptions, why they matter, and what actually has to happen for our kids (or anyone, really) to make friends.

  

Here's a clip from the episode:

You may be thinking, wondering, why does it really matter? Why does it matter if my kiddo refers to other people as friends, even when they're not? Why does it matter if my kiddo thinks he has 14 friends even when he doesn't? It matters because the expectations... the social expectations between acquaintances and friends are different.



A great example is that we are expected to engage in small talk when we run into one of our acquaintances. But even things like the question: How's it going? Or: How are you? When an acquaintance asks us that question, the expected response is the social fake. It's something like, 'I'm good', 'I'm okay, how are you?' Even if we're not good, or if we're not okay. With an acquaintance, we're just trying to be polite and friendly. And so usually we do the social fake, even if things aren't really so great. It would be really awkward for an acquaintance to ask us how we're doing and for us to unload on them about how we've had a really rough day.

49 min