This one time God's Chosen One was a total psychopath and mass murderer Worst of Bible

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So this guy Samson has a bit of a Superman backstory, but with a What if Superman were a total jerk twist. It also has a tad of Jesus in it, as if God had made a test run for unexpected pregnancies and what to expect when you weren’t really expecting.
So Samson is born to a couple called Manoah and… well, the woman happens not to have a name because the Bible basically cares f**k all about women. Anyway, Manoah and the wife of Manoah have no children, because the wife of Manoah is “unable to give birth”, as the book of Judges states, or maybe Manoah’s little swimmers are just simply recalcitrant little buggers, who knows, let’s just go ahead and blame the woman, shall we?
But once again, I digress. Long story short, for reasons unknown Manoah and his wife have no children and have long given up on having any. So when this man visits them and announces they’d be having a kid soon, they’re sceptic at first, but upon realizing said man is a messenger from God, happily accept this unexpected development. The angel tells them:
“You will become pregnant and have a son whose head is never to be touched by a razor because the boy is to be a Nazirite, dedicated to God from the womb. He will take the lead in delivering Israel from the hands of the Philistines.”
Interesting detail: The Israelites are in the hand of the Philistines because God put them there in the first place, after once again having a falling out with his people. God is pretty good at solving problems he created in the first place. Bit like starting a fire to extinguish so you can be the hero.
So Samson is God’s Chosen One, a savior, and he is born to a host couple on earth, not unlike Superman, but unlike Superman, he decides to go down the path of being an outright asshole. Think the movie Brightburn. And speaking of similarities with Superman, Samson does also have his very own Kryptonite:
Cut his hair and he loses all his powers and God’s blessing.
One day Samson is wandering around when his eyes fall upon a Philistine girl, so he tells his parents:
“I have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife.”
Entitled little f**k, if I’ve ever seen one.
His parents aren’t too keen on this kind of daughter-in-law, given she’s the enemy. But Samson is quite adamant about it, so they make the journey down to Timnah to get it over with.
En route, Samson happens upon a lion and kills the beast with his bare hands. A total badass thing to do, but this is where things get bizarre (bizarre by Bible story standards, that is). According to the Bible, after he kills the lion with his f*****g bare hands, the following happens:
But he told neither his father nor his mother what he had done.
Why, though? Only a total psychopath would keep it to himself that he just killed a fucking lion, let alone with his bare hands! Either that, or Samson kills animals as a habit and has been going Dexter all over Judah’s fauna and maybe that’s why he doesn’t think it’s news. Imagine killing a bloody lion without any weapon. The least you can do is tell the story and then say something badass like “No biggy”, but keep that to yourself? That’s a red flag right there. Psycho.
They then get to Timnah, Samson speaks to the woman, decides she’s not just looks and a marriage is arranged. And they live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, no.
Some time later, Samson returns to Timnah for the wedding. On his way there, he seems to have said to himself, hello, didn’t I kill a lion here with my bare hands, let’s see what happened to the carcass. The Bible recounts:
In it he saw a swarm of bees and some honey. He scooped out the honey with his hands and ate as he went along. When he rejoined his parents, he gave them some, and they too ate it. But he did not tell them that he had taken the honey from the lion’s carca