TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids Debbie Reber

A follow-up conversation with Debbie's husband Derin in which he shares how he got unstuck in his thinking about Asher, as well as how the two of them fostered a close bond of mutual love and understanding.
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Debbie and her husband Derin have an honest, open, and vulnerable conversation about their (up and down) journey as a couple navigating parenting a differently-wired child.
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Dr. Lori Desautels is coming back to the show to talk about her new book Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth, which stems from her passion of applying the social and relational neurosciences to education and integrating her applied research into classroom procedures and transitions prepping the nervous system for learning and felt safety. 
An Assistant Professor at Butler University, K-12 educator, and researcher, Lori joined me on the podcast last year to talk about her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, and that conversation has really just stayed with me, so I loved having this opportunity to go deep with her about intentional neuroplasticity. 
In this conversation, we discussed some of the research about neuroplasticity not only in kids but in adults, and how we can use it and what we know about the nervous system to help us co-regulate at home and at school and truly meet our children where they are. 
 
Dr. Lori Desautels, has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016 where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education. Her passion is engaging her students through the social and relational neurosciences as it applies to education by integrating the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework, and its learning principles and practices into her coursework at Butler. The Applied Educational Neuroscience Certification, created by Lori in 2016, is specifically designed to meet the needs of educators, counselors, clinicians and administrators who work beside children and adolescents who have, and are, experiencing adversity and trauma. The certification is now global and has reached hundreds of educators. 
 
Things you'll learn from this episode

What this school year has shown us about the impact COVID has had on students and educators

What the research says about neuroplasticity in adults and how we can use it in co-regulating with children and students

What “building a nest” for our kids means, and and why it’s the best place to start when tending to our kids nervous systems

How Lori’s approach has been received by educators

What’s possible in classrooms when teachers apply Lori’s methodology to nervous system management

 
Resources mentioned

Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website


Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth by Dr. Lori Desautels


Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline by Dr. Lori Desautels


Eyes Are Never Quiet: Listening Beneath the Behaviors of Our Most Troubled Students by Dr. Lori Desautels

Resources from Revelations


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I'm sitting down with sexuality educator and parenting expert Amy Lang for a very frank and open conversation* about sex ed for children—what they need to know, when they need to know it, how to talk about it, and much much more. Amy is passionate about the fact that at its core, sex education is a health and safety issue for our kids. She explains why as our children’s parents and caregivers, it is up to us to initiate and continue to have conversations surrounding sexuality.
Amy Lang is committed to changing and challenging cultural beliefs about children and sexuality. She does this by teaching adults the best and most effective ways to talk, learn, and think about the birds and bees, and provides research-based, high quality keynotes, workshops, webinars, books, and other tools so adults can be true champions for the kids they care for and love. Her website is Birds + Bees + Kids. 
 
THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

When parents should have “the talk” about sex (and why the “child-focused” approach of waiting until they ask is wrong)

The importance of parents reflecting on their own relationship with sex education before talking with their kids

What children should know by what age

How to talk to kids who are reluctant to engage in any conversation having to do with sex

Why differently-wired kids are especially vulnerable / need additional sex education than typically developing kids

 
RESOURCES MENTIONED:


Birds + Bees + Kids (Amy’s website)


Dating Smarts: What Every Teen Needs to Know to Date, Relate, or Wait by Amy Lang


Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids: A Guide to Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love, and Relationships by Amy Lang


It’s Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends by Robie Harris


It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie Harris


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My guests today are on a mission to show parents that there are different ways of approaching autism beyond what they’re told in doctors or therapists offices. Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards, co-authors of the book I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World, are making it really clear that there is no one size fits all for any families and that there is so much to learn from just listening more. 
Meghan Ashburn is a continuous learner, educational consultant, parent mentor, and co-author of I Will Die On This Hill. She's passionate about helping schools create more inclusive, accessible environments. Her online book club has over 10K members, and releases book recommendation lists on autism and neurodiversity. Meghan advocates for communication rights and inclusion at the local, state, and national level. She sits on her school district's Special Education Advisory Committee (SEAC) and is a recent graduate of Virginia's Partners in Policymaking.
Jules Edwards is a neurodivergent Anishinaabe writer, gardener, accountant, and disability justice advocate. She is the parent of neurodivergent Afro Indigenous people, and care provider to many neurodivergent children throughout the years. Jules is passionate about building community and works to improve child safety and disability policy.
Current roles include: care work of disabled youth, co-founder of Minnesota Autistic Alliance, board member for the Minnesota Ombudsman for American Indian Families, board member of The Arc Minnesota. She serves as the elected chairperson of the Minnesota Autism Council, a workgroup of the Senate Human Services Reform Finance and Policy Committee.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What disability justice is

Ways that allistic and autistic parents raising autistic children can work together toward our common goals for our kids

The harms of a continual pursuit for “normal” in ways that don’t respect or embrace our kids’ neurodivergence

Why self-determination should be the goal over “independence”

Ways that allistic parents may be perpetuating ableism without realizing it

What an “autism moon” is and why ideal for families who are navigating a new diagnosis of autism


 Resources mentioned

Meghan Ashburn’s website Not an Autism Mom

Meghan Ashburn’s Au-Some Book Club


I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards


The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a 13-Year-Old Boy with Autism by Naoki Higashida


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This week is a continuation of last week’s episode with executive functioning coach Seth Perler, which was so packed full of information (and also so long) that I had to break it up into two separate episodes, which I’m now referring to as a “masterclass” in executive functioning. 
In last week’s episode, Seth shared his protocol for setting up a child for success in their developing executive functioning skills. In today’s episode, Seth is going to get into the nitty gritty about specific strategies he uses to address different executive functioning challenges that show up in school and in life. 
Seth Perler is a renegade teacher turned Executive Function Coach/Education Coach who is based in Santa Monica, CA and Boulder, CO. He helps struggling students navigate a crazy educational landscape and does his part to “disrupt” and improve education. Seth specializes in Executive Function and 2e. Find out more at sethperler.com.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

What “Frankenstudy” is, and how to know where to focus your energies so you can create a “domino effect” with your child’s fledgling executive functioning skills

How to best use “learning planners” to learn how to think / talk through their plan (and what we’re doing wrong)

The benefits of monthly planners versus daily or weekly planners

Helping kids identify the “MIT” – most important thing – each day

The importance of creating a sacred study space for a child

How to optimize an internet browser to make it easy with bookmark bars (and have tabs automatically open, including calendar, grade tab, email)

Why it’s important to get kids to start checking grades weekly (Seth recommends Sunday nights)

The importance of helping a child create clearly identified routines (for leaving house, doing daily plan, doing homework, etc.)

How getting visual with kids benefits them in developing their executive functioning skills

Why separate digital timers need to be a part of a child’s life so they can learn to calibrate time, as well as get started and do short bursts of work

Creating a weekly overhaul of systems

The important of kids “getting into the mode” for studying, etc: organize their space, make their plan, and executive

 
RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Seth Perler’s website and blog


A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 1 (podcast episode)


A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode)

Seth’s Executive Functioning Assessment

Seth Perler’s YouTube Channel

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