Time of My Lifetime TOML Productions

We're back with the 1994 Lifetime movie, "Mortal Fear," starring TOML all-star Joanna Kearns as a doctor working in a private clinic where all the healthy patients are getting mysteriously sick and dying.

We talk about all the important topics like smoking in hospitals, wearing silly hats in San Francisco, keeping the poison right next to the headache medicine (both injectables), and euthanizing seemingly healthy patients because....reasons? This movie is downright CONFUSING and not even Robert Englund (that's right, Freddy Kreuger himself is in this) can help us unravel whatever the hell is going on in this one.

Enjoy the episode!

We're back with the 1993 Lifetime, "The Man With Three Wives," starring Beau Bridges and TOML favorite Joanna Kerns. Beau Bridges just has so much love to give in this one that one wife is two too few.

We talk about all the important topics: microfiche, interesting geography, and the worst way to spend Christmas. We still don't quite understand what is just so appealing about sweaty, doofy Beau Bridges but hey, you do you Three Wives.

Thanks Mr. Shimatsu, and enjoy the episode.

Oh look, another out of order episode recorded in the early days of COVID19, it's the 1999 Lifetime movie, A Face to Kill For, starring Wings' own Crystal Bernard. I know what you're thinking, "didn't you already do this one?" This was our question as well as this movie has MANY similarities to our previous episode, A Face to Die For. Here's an easy way to distinguish the two: horses. Other than that, this movie is nearly beat for beat, except a lot less fun and a little more confusing, plus our protagonist is apparently omniscient.

Rocky and Jordan discuss all the important topics: horse drugs, super-genius heroines, and the ability to get a job as a high powered Wall Street trader with seemingly zero experience save for a few books in prison.

Go buy yourself $100 million in Chinese bonds, don't lean over in your car, and enjoy the episode!

Well I wouldn't go so far as to call this a "lost" episode as much as it was "forgotten to publish" and is now out of order, not that it really matters. It's still covid times for Jordan and Rocky as we watch the 1990 Lifetime movie, Daughter of the Streets, starring Roxana Zal, Jane Alexander and...John Stamos? Yes, Uncle Jesse himself, speaking mostly in falsetto, wearing extraordinary jackets, and giving gross butterfly kisses.

We talk about all the important topics: First period beers, crazy family members, WHORES (seriously, they really say the word "whore" A LOT in this one), the single most jaw-dropping scene of any Lifetime movie we've seen, and The Exorcist. Yes, this movie somehow becomes The Exorcist for about five minutes, truly can't miss TV.

An Irish curse on your family! Enjoy the episode.

Oh boy it's a movie we've been trying to watch for a while now that it's returned to Youtube, the 1997 thriller/comedy (?)/true story (???)/extended Law and Order episode, Crowned and Dangerous starring one of our favorites, Yasmine Bleeth.

This one might be the campiest movies we've watched to date and we implore you to at least go check out the water skiing scene and its aftermath, especially if you are a fan of Wile E. Coyote.

Rocky and Jordan discuss all the important topics: beauty pageant culture, stage moms, and title cards, my god, why so many title cards?? This movie apparently thinks their audience has the same IQ as a sack of bricks and hell, maybe we do after watching it. It's a little bit Miss USA 1993, a little bit Law and Order and a little bit....Batman? Enjoy the show!

Whoops, looks like I'm publishing a "lost" episode! I thought this thing was posted in 2021 but apparently not, so here's a bonus episode for all the TOML-heads out there, please ignore our out of date references. It's another COVID episode, this time for the 1993 movie, Cradle of Conspiracy starring Winnie Cooper herself, Danica McKellar, back for her second movie in a row for us.

Today, we're talking the black market-ish baby selling business but mostly making fun of outrageous accents. We touch on all the important topics: the world's worst dad, family heirlooms, Lifetime's most amusing cops, and ridiculous accents, have I MENTIONED THE ACCENTS?

Please enjoy this "lost" episode and like us on Facebook/Itunes/whatever.