21 min

Touch for Your Own Interest MS and SEX

    • Sexuality

First, I had to migrate to another podcast host so forgive any glitches as I learn the new platform. Ugh. We may not have a movie star body or the sex drive of a twenty-year-old but WE get to decide what sensuality and sexuality means to us in any given moment. This month on the podcast I talk about a tool we can use to quiet our minds and return to the sensations of the body. Focusing on your own experience of sensation is not the same as being selfish. It is a powerful tool that can ultimately lead to greater connection. This month I’m thinking a lot about empowerment. Chronic conditions can rob us of confidence and self- worth professionally, personally, and sexually. Those demons arise internally and externally. It’s hard to feel like a badass when fatigue has nailed you to the floor. It’s a struggle to feel sexy when you live in a culture that cringes at your presence or simply looks past you in a search for something else to focus on, some vision that doesn’t remind them of the frailty of life as a bent or struggling body does.
I’m bombarded with those internal and external negative messages too. I can only encourage you to seek out those who uplift you and see you not as a weakened body hobbling along but as a person with battle scars that have made you stronger, yet filled you with humility and compassion for those that don’t fit the “normal” mold. The fact is that normal is an irrelevant concept when it comes to bodies and sexuality. Alfred Kinsey conducted massive quantitative research in the mid 1900’s; one of his greatest contributions was proving that there is no “normal.” Their data concluded that up to 25% of people are at the “extreme ends” of sexual behavior. ((Extreme being anything that isn’t PIV Sex) One can’t just count the middle 50% as “normal” when there is another 50% that is one extreme or the other. Duh. So, flush that idea of normal down the toilet like it’s a memo from the Trump administration. Listen to this episode and join us on September 20th at 5 PM pacific time for a live Q&A. You can ask questions, share your thoughts and experiences about the “touching for interest” exercise, and we can try out the “three minute game”.

Here are a couple of resources to find Sex therapists or counselors, AASECT: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory. NCSF KAP list: https://www.kapprofessionals.org/kap_directory/13575/kink-affirmative-therapist-4/ I used this book as a reference for much of the content: https://www.draveryclark.com/sensate-focus-sex-therapy-illustrated-manual/

First, I had to migrate to another podcast host so forgive any glitches as I learn the new platform. Ugh. We may not have a movie star body or the sex drive of a twenty-year-old but WE get to decide what sensuality and sexuality means to us in any given moment. This month on the podcast I talk about a tool we can use to quiet our minds and return to the sensations of the body. Focusing on your own experience of sensation is not the same as being selfish. It is a powerful tool that can ultimately lead to greater connection. This month I’m thinking a lot about empowerment. Chronic conditions can rob us of confidence and self- worth professionally, personally, and sexually. Those demons arise internally and externally. It’s hard to feel like a badass when fatigue has nailed you to the floor. It’s a struggle to feel sexy when you live in a culture that cringes at your presence or simply looks past you in a search for something else to focus on, some vision that doesn’t remind them of the frailty of life as a bent or struggling body does.
I’m bombarded with those internal and external negative messages too. I can only encourage you to seek out those who uplift you and see you not as a weakened body hobbling along but as a person with battle scars that have made you stronger, yet filled you with humility and compassion for those that don’t fit the “normal” mold. The fact is that normal is an irrelevant concept when it comes to bodies and sexuality. Alfred Kinsey conducted massive quantitative research in the mid 1900’s; one of his greatest contributions was proving that there is no “normal.” Their data concluded that up to 25% of people are at the “extreme ends” of sexual behavior. ((Extreme being anything that isn’t PIV Sex) One can’t just count the middle 50% as “normal” when there is another 50% that is one extreme or the other. Duh. So, flush that idea of normal down the toilet like it’s a memo from the Trump administration. Listen to this episode and join us on September 20th at 5 PM pacific time for a live Q&A. You can ask questions, share your thoughts and experiences about the “touching for interest” exercise, and we can try out the “three minute game”.

Here are a couple of resources to find Sex therapists or counselors, AASECT: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory. NCSF KAP list: https://www.kapprofessionals.org/kap_directory/13575/kink-affirmative-therapist-4/ I used this book as a reference for much of the content: https://www.draveryclark.com/sensate-focus-sex-therapy-illustrated-manual/

21 min