Unearthing Adoption: Normalizing Positive Perspectives Glenna Boggs and Lauren Fishbein

Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Millennial, Gen X, and Baby Boomer generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

Sara Easterly is an award-winning author of books and essays. Her memoir, Searching for Mom, won a gold medal in the Illumination Book Awards, among several other honors. Her adoption-focused articles, essays, and book reviews have been published by Psychology Today, Dear Adoption, Severance Magazine, Feminine Collective, Godspace, Her View from Home, and Englewood Review of Books, to name a few.

Sara is founder of Adoptee Voices and previously led one of the largest chapters of the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators, where she was recognized as SCBWI Member of the Year. She is on staff with the Neufeld Institute, where she supports the Adoption & Foster Care cohort of the Reaching Troubled Kids course, spearheads the Kid-Lit Book Club, and oversees the Neufeld Institute Children’s Book List. Additionally, Sara brings 20+ years of experience as a publicist and event planner orchestrating book tours, launch campaigns, and large-scale events.

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard spent several years working in the adoption field, most notably working on public policy issues impacting all adoption-triad members. Kelsey has played a part in the success of state legislation and has tirelessly advocated for current federal legislation. She’s a birth mother who is passionate about raising the standards in adoption to better serve the children, mothers, and families affected by family separation.

Adoption has been a monumental part of her entire life: Kelsey is the daughter and granddaughter of adoptees. She can often be found fervently and frequently demanding, “How do we fix this?” She is also a co-host of the first-ever birth-mom podcast, Twisted Sisterhood.

Lori Holden, a veteran parent of two newly-minted young adults, writes at LavenderLuz.com and hosts the podcastAdoption: The Long View. She’s the author of the acclaimed book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole (recommended by People magazine in 2021), written with her daughter’s birth mom. Her book is featured on adoption-agency required-reading lists across the country. She has keynoted and presented at adoption conferences around the US, and her work has appeared in magazines such as Parenting and Adoptive Families. In 2018, she was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI), nominated by Senator Michael Bennet of Colorado.

Lena (Eileen) Skahill is an adjunct professor of Sociology at the University of Colorado Colorado Springs. She has been teaching courses in Adoption and Family Studies and Environmental Sociology which are available to students in the School of Social Work, Women’s and Ethnic Studies and The Humanities departments.  Lena is also adoptee (1966) and engaged in reunion with both of her first families. She has volunteered in varying capacities with adoption non-profits over the last decade and dedicated her academic career toward the pursuit of teaching and sharing the unique lived experiences of all members of the adoption constellation.

Lena has conducted research in adoption studies over the course of her career. Her early research, On the Outside Looking In: Adoptee Perspectives on Reunion Relationships explored the evolution of long term reunions between adoptees and their first families with outcomes of the study shared at academic conferences across the country.  Her current qualitative/photo essay-based research study titled, Nurtured by Nature: Adoption and Foster Care Experiences and the Healing Power of Nature is meant to shine a light on the adoption and foster care journeys and the ways in which nature serves as a modality for healing, growth, and joy for all impacted by these lived experiences.  Research for the study has been completed and Lena anticipates data to be published in 2024.

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"Paul Kimball, a biracial adoptee, explores his own abandonment issues as he searches, and eventually reunites with his birth parents. After a seemingly joyous reunion, his birth mother, a Caucasian professional cellist, rejects him. This causes him to seek out his Armenian birth father, who along with his extended family, accepts him as one of their own. 

Paul's birthparents met at the Hollywood Methodist Church in 1961. Vahe had immigrated from Iraq to California, while Wendy gave cello concerts throughout the United States. After Wendy became pregnant, they decided to have an abortion in Mexico, and upon arrival, changed their minds. As directed by her parents, Wendy had her baby in secret in Fort Bragg. Vahe was told that the baby had been aborted. 

After one week with Wendy, Paul was given up for adoption. He was placed in foster care through Children's Home Society for four and a half months. Being biracial, Paul was considered a "Hard to Place" baby. The Kimballs, a wonderfully liberal Berkeley family, decided to adopt Paul. On Paul's first birthday, November 22nd, 1962, he was officially adopted three hours before the assassination of President Kennedy. 

Paul became a professional French Horn player, conductor and music teacher. He had always been deeply moved by the cello, especially the recordings of Jacqueline Du Pre. Music was his life, and cello his therapy. 

After marrying and becoming a father of two daughters, Paul searched for his birthmother. Upon learning that she was a cellist, he was even more determined to meet her. After several months and false leads, he found her name in the Musician's Union directory. This led to a three-hour phone call with birth mother, Wendy. 

Paul and Wendy met in L.A. and had a beautiful three-month reunion. That summer, she went to New York to play in an orchestra. While there, she made the decision to keep Paul a secret. She was afraid of being thought of as a "slut." She stopped all communication. When the horrors of 911 happened, Paul left one last message on her phone. This led Wendy to contact his mother in law, and let her know that Paul must never contact her again.

In shock, Paul decided to search for his birth father. With some clues provided by Wendy, including his last name, Paul tracked down Vahe through his brother Vasken. On Christmas day, Vasken announced to his extended family that Vahe had an unknown son, much to their astonishment. That evening, Paul called Vasken who handed the phone to Vahe. The first words that Vahe said to him were "Son, I love you!"

For twelve years, Vahe, Paul and the extended Armenian community got to know and love each other. 

Paul kept tabs on Wendy through her summer orchestra's website. One summer he noticed that she wasn't listed. He learned through a facebook message that Wendy had died a few years earlier. 

Paul found her gravesite, but no marker, just grass. He decided to design one for her. When the marker was completed, he visited it alone, in tears, while listening to cello music. Paul's adopted parents, and Vahe passed away. His adopted father committed suicide three days after his mother passed while looking at her pictures. 

Now that his parents were gone, Paul continued to contemplate his abandonment issues. The realization that we are all human beings, adopted or not, and that we are all a part of nature, has brought much comfort and healing."



Buy Paul's book: https://www.amazon.com/We-Are-All-Human-Beings/dp/1977236197



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Happy 2024! On this episode of Unearthing Adoption, Lauren and Glenna discuss New Year's Resolutions and trends amongst adoptees. We are so thrilled to have you all join us in 2024. Lots of exciting things happening this year so stay tuned!



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Thank you all for such an amazing year. We can't wait for the next one!

Letitia Smith from White Light Exposure: https://www.whitelightexposure.com/

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