12 episodes

True Tales of the Illuminati is about conspiracies.

Ah, yes, conspiracies--where the strings of history are carefully pulled from behind the scenes to dance for the powerful like a puppet. In True Tales, the powerful are less puppet-masters and more... finger puppet-masters. At best.

Promoted from the Department of Cover-Ups to Direct Action, Deputy Head Underboss Rebecca and her crew of hapless idiots intrigue, scheme, and stab their way into ruining every Illuminati conspiracy. Supervisors hastily deploy staff to cover mishaps, suddenly and inexplicably lose interest in the projects they proposed, and hand down endlessly diverse and contradictory demands. The result is an absurdist, farcical office comedy where going to work involves collecting thousands of birds and creating an elaborate snake-based series of traps. Why? Well, if you want to know the Illuminati's Secret Occult Knowledge, you'll just have to listen.

Illuminati, Ollominoto!

True Tales of the Illuminati Max Kreisky, Katherine Cargill, Eric Trageser

    • Comedy
    • 4.8 • 26 Ratings

True Tales of the Illuminati is about conspiracies.

Ah, yes, conspiracies--where the strings of history are carefully pulled from behind the scenes to dance for the powerful like a puppet. In True Tales, the powerful are less puppet-masters and more... finger puppet-masters. At best.

Promoted from the Department of Cover-Ups to Direct Action, Deputy Head Underboss Rebecca and her crew of hapless idiots intrigue, scheme, and stab their way into ruining every Illuminati conspiracy. Supervisors hastily deploy staff to cover mishaps, suddenly and inexplicably lose interest in the projects they proposed, and hand down endlessly diverse and contradictory demands. The result is an absurdist, farcical office comedy where going to work involves collecting thousands of birds and creating an elaborate snake-based series of traps. Why? Well, if you want to know the Illuminati's Secret Occult Knowledge, you'll just have to listen.

Illuminati, Ollominoto!

    MOON SHOT

    MOON SHOT

    “I’m tired of consulting on films, I hunger for god-humiliation!
    Dal’s moon landing suffers delays. Ishmael finds the perfect double. Jackie becomes an artist. Beck acquires nuclear weapons. Von Braun vows to spit in the face of god. CW: deadly workplace situations, really oblique allusions to MKULTRA

    Transcripts here

    Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

    Promo this episode was for Neoscum, a narrative comedy podcast featuring five Chicago improvisers antagonizing their way through the roleplaying classic, Shadowrun. Find out more here

    CAST
    Salvatore Fabbiano was Twobrick
    Dennis Bruno was Neil Armstrong
    And Mike Giordano was Michael Collins
    Chloe Zwaicher was Beck
    Julie Snyder was Jackie
    Noel Naczi was Ishmael
    Meredith Gulley was Dal
    John Serpico was the Chief
    Dennis Bruno was the Memo
    Marc Campasano was Werner Von Braun
    Ramy Abdelgani was Kubrick

    CREW
    Written by Max Kreisky, Katherine Cargill and Eric Trageser
    Sound design by Hedley Knights and Beth Crane
    Directed and Produced by Max Kreisky
    Logo Design by Tom Crowley
    Theme by Arnie Parrot
    Recorded at The Bridge Sound and Stage in Somerville, Massachusetts

    Special thanks to Illuminati nuke suppliers Beth Crane, Jess Pfohl and Jonathan Kreisky

    Phony Executive Producers
    Nick Krasney
    Denise Grenier
    Alex Hensley
    Laura Isham
    Mariclair Bennet
    Steven Rutkowsi
    And Lilit Penrod made this show possible, and for this their names shall be enshrined for a thousand years. After that, there is a maintenance fee.

    NUCLEAR OPTION

    NUCLEAR OPTION

    “You’re making me hate the moon!”
    Jackie searches for the perfect rock. Astronauts tussle. Dal learns how a radio works. Ishmael eats a sandwich.

    CW: deadly workplace situations, things from scripture
    Special thanks to Beth Crane!

    Transcripts here
    Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

    Promo this episode was for Crowley Time, a sketch comedy podcast, featuring characters and messages in bottles plucked from unknown shores, written and performed by Tom Crowley. You can find out more here

    CAST
    Chloe Zwaicher was Beck
    Julie Snyder was Jackie
    Noel Naczi was Ishmael
    Meredith Gulley was Dal
    John Serpico was the Chief
    Dennis Bruno was the Memo
    Marc Campasano was Werner Von Braun
    Salvatore Fabbiano was Twobrick
    Dennis Bruno was Neil Armstrong
    Alex Roy was Buzz Aldrin
    And Mike Giordano was Michael Collins

    CREW
    Written by Max Kreisky, Katherine Cargill and Eric Trageser
    Sound design by Hedley Knights and Beth Crane
    Directed and Produced by Max Kreisky
    Logo Design by Tom Crowley
    Theme by Arnie Parrot
    Recorded at The Bridge Sound and Stage in Somerville, Massachusetts

    Special thanks to Managers of Stretch’s Billiards Beth Crane, Jess Pfohl and Jonathan Kreisky

    Phony Executive Producers Nick Krasney Denise Grenier Alex Hensley Laura Isham Mariclair Bennet Steven Rutkowsi And Lilit Penrod made this show possible, and for this their likenesses will be carved into the face of the moon itself. Real small. But they’re up there!

    • 42 min
    COLD READ

    COLD READ

    “How was this guy not already in the illuminati?”
    Jay Gatsby takes it on the arches. Beck prevents a catastrophic leak. Dal fights mirrors. The Pen decides what’s marketable. The Chief reads Dune.

    Cw: deadly workplace situations, heavy references to the Kubrick filmography

    Special thanks to Beth Crane!

    Transcripts here

    Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

    CAST
    Chloe Zwaicher was Beck
    Julie Snyder was Jackie
    Noel Naczi was Ishmael
    Meredith Gulley was Dal
    John Serpico was the Chief
    Dennis Bruno was the Memo
    Marc Campasano was Werner Von Braun
    Ramy Abdelghani was Stanley Kubrick’s perfectly imitated voice
    Salvatore Fabbiano was Twobrick
    Stuart Licht was The Pen
    And Eric Trageser was Jay Gatsby

    CREW
    Written by Max Kreisky, Katherine Cargill and Eric Trageser
    Sound design by Hedley Knights and Beth Crane
    Directed and Produced by Max Kreisky
    Logo Design by Tom Crowley
    Theme by Arnie Parrot
    Recorded at The Bridge Sound and Stage in Somerville, Massachusetts

    Special thanks to Violent Apes Beth Crane, Jess Pfohl and Jonathan Kreisky. We hope they feel incredible.

    Phony Executive Producers
    Nick Krasney
    Denise Grenier
    Alex Hensley
    Laura Isham
    Mariclair Bennet
    Steven Rutkowsi
    And Lilit Penrod made this show possible, and for this history will be quietly rewritten with them as the victors

    • 55 min
    Pyramid Scheme

    Pyramid Scheme

    Beck is asked to build a library for the Secret Occult Knowledge. Imhotep is bribed into constructing a tall pointy thing with the promise of birds. Jackie and Ishmael see the inside of a head.

    CW: deadly workplace situations

    Transcript Here

    Find cast info, links and more at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

    • 34 min
    Royal Pains

    Royal Pains

    Beck and Ishmael plumb the depths of aristocratic depravity. Jackie and Dal bond over their hobbies. A swan is complicit in a murder. The crew fails to sneak into a fort under cover of horses.

    CW: deadly workplace situations, gross kissing

    [Transcript Here] (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aaJbdByzf-Q1IkDF88bUwMRLP-EsyIvCFrFuca8Gsk4/edit?usp=sharing)

    Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

    • 41 min
    Grave Consequences

    Grave Consequences

    Imhotep and Ishmael make the safest gamble. Beck and co steal from a hole in the ground. Jackie crafts the ultimate fantasy adventure experience. A camel finds his family.

    CW: deadly workplace situations, snakes and snake-adjacent violence, endings

    Transcript Here

    Stick around after the credits to hear news on season 2

    Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

    • 51 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
26 Ratings

26 Ratings

Ponterbee's2ndPhone ,

Tru Talez 2: Electric⚡️Boogaloo!

True Tales Of The Illuminati is BACK ~ 💕💜💕!!
With a second series of ANOTHER phenomenal 3 extra-long episodes that’ll slam dunk you into the Black Hole of Calcutta - with naught but a laser pointer for light, a farting chihuahua for heat, and the sanity-shattering BONUS episodes for company (luckily, the Bonus episodes are L O N G enough that you will almost certainly be rescued/ raised up and out of the infinite Calcuttan pit of dark despair - well before you’ve reached the end of all that extra surreal fiction to entertain and divert your tiny little attention span).

And it’s all FREE to us, I remind you, so please stop SCREAMING at us while we’re bringing you back into the sunlight, about how it was the Illuminati that tossed you into the Hole to begin with. Hold onto that poor gassy little dog, and we’ll all just have to be a bit more alert and cautious.

*** For the rest of you, please select All Episodes at the top of the Episodes screen - so you can view the Bonus Episodes - and then select Season One, Episode One, to add to Play Next - and begin your journey… into True Tales Of The Illuminati!

Kailbill ,

Enjoyable

This podcast is honestly funny and enjoyable. It doesn’t take itself too seriously. Really looking forward to season 2!

Accesette ,

Need more!

This is so funny! Please make more!!

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