37 episodes

Welcome to Turtle's Paradise, where Chris & Tj invite you to join them in attempting to grasp the miasma of numbers, princesses, and strange haircuts that IS Final Fantasy.

Turtle's Paradise Tj Condon

    • Video Games
    • 5.0 • 4 Ratings

Welcome to Turtle's Paradise, where Chris & Tj invite you to join them in attempting to grasp the miasma of numbers, princesses, and strange haircuts that IS Final Fantasy.

    Turtle's Paradise Ep. T.1

    Turtle's Paradise Ep. T.1

    Wherein Tj and Chris confront the oft-confusing translation of table dog purple liquefy, chili squint, and wet bread.
    This week's beer: Rusty Rail NOktoberfest Rye Ale w/ blood orange
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five

    • 31 min
    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.5

    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.5

    Wherein Tj and Chris (at long last) welcome Cid's comeuppance vis-a-vis a certain assistant, confirm that you can't do the Wutai quest after the Return to Midgar, and trivialize the entire challenge on a couple different occasions.
    This week's beer: Rusty Gold Brewing Potential Energy Imperial IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five

    • 1 hr 23 min
    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.4

    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.4

    Wherein Tj and Chris raise their body temperatures by any means necessary, completely disregard a tower defense game, and disappoint the more religious members of their families.
    This week's beer: Rock Bottom Pittsburgh Uppity Jagoff IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Incidental: "Judgement-Funkadelic" [Judgment Day] by Charles Ritz, David Peacock, DrumUltimA, Dutcher Snedeker, Fredrik Häthén, Marc Papeghin, Nuri Tett, sschafi1, & Thennecan
    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    • 57 min
    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.3

    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.3

    Wherein Tj and Chris are ON A BOAT, in LITTLE DUNE BUGGY, and go down in a blaze of glory but are still able to paddle around in shallow water and rivers.Oh, yeah, and she dies. Deal with it.
    This week's beer: Southern Tier Nu Skool IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    • 1 hr 27 min
    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.2

    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.2

    Wherein Tj and Chris channel their inner Kornheiser and Wilbon, shill grenades as the answer to every problem in Midgar, and receive gifts of dice and portability from friend of the show Andrew!
    This week's beer: Magic Hat TFG IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    • 1 hr 13 min
    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.1

    Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.1

    Wherein Tj and Chris ACTUALLY PUBLISH A BLEEDING PODCAST FOR A CHANGE, plug their Final Fantasy XI streaming project senseless, name-check Legend of Legaia for whatever reason, and Tj dishonors himself by not mentioning EarthBound amongst his formative JRPG experiences.
    This week's beer: Sierra Nevada Trip in the Woods: Bière de Garde
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Find these at OCRemix.org!

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
4 Ratings

4 Ratings

Yes, that Tj. ,

I love Doctor Tran. I am a caucasian male.

Also we talk about Final Fantasy and beer. (And hockey.) (And BoJack.)

Chris Aumilller ,

BEST. PODCAST. EVER.

Final Fantasy and beer! What can go wrong? I"m definitely not biased because I'm definitely not one of the cohorts (oh who am I kidding I totally am).

Generic Fighter ,

Ye Olden Tymes ov Are Pee Jees

Need BEER and other Alcoholic Beverages to be Enjoyed fully! Since I cannot partake of Alcohol anymore, it means these Fine Gentlemen must make up the difference and boy do they! Beer Plus Final Fantasy Equals Funny! The Daring Duo fit together like, I don't know, two peas in a pod or some other cliche. Enjoying the podcast greatly and playing along too. Wishing you all the luck in the world once you get to Final Fantasy 3! You WILL need it!

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