64 episodes

Looking for some short, sweet, real life English to improve your listening skills or just have fun? Never too long, never boring, and always something worthwhile for the curious listener or English learner! Transcript included too! Subscribe now, it's all free!

Unexpected English! Louis

    • Language Learning
    • 5.0 • 5 Ratings

Looking for some short, sweet, real life English to improve your listening skills or just have fun? Never too long, never boring, and always something worthwhile for the curious listener or English learner! Transcript included too! Subscribe now, it's all free!

    Trump's American Carnage

    Trump's American Carnage

    [EP 64] ASSAULT on the American Capitol? Just another day of the chaos, criminality and destruction brought about due to the tragic mistake called the Trump Presidency. Transcript included.

    Hi everybody! Welcome back to another episode of Unexpected English! Unexpected... unexpectedly... this is unexpected because I did not expect to be recording an episode where I talk about the attack on democracy in my country. But I am recording this episode one day after that happened. One day after the so-called president incited his cult followers by again feeding them lies that he "won" the election. How pathetic is that? How pathological is that? But there are people who believe lies, I guess, if you repeat them often enough. And he has been repeating that lie and thousands of other lies his entire term in office. Well, no reason to talk about it I guess. If if anyone ever spoke with me, you know that I have said from the beginning the man is incapable and unfit: unfit mentally, unfit morally, unfit in every way. And this is the perfect conclusion to his four years of chaos. In fact there are, as I record this, 13 days left in his presidency and there is serious talk of invoking the 25th amendment. The 25th amendment (to the Constitution) says if the president is incapable of carrying out his duties, which of course he has been from the beginning, but in this case trying to overturn democracy and ignore the reality of an election that he lost! And inciting ... an attack on the institutions of this country: clearly that makes him unfit. But of course, I'm sure nothing will happen. That is to say, it's unlikely he will be removed from office and instead we will live counting down these final 13 days, hoping that he does not do anything crazier than what he has done. And it is crazy. it's crazy! Right now as I speak Trump is not allowed to post on Facebook. They took away his Facebook privileges but they didn't take away the codes to the nuclear weapons, you know? He could to destroy the planet, but he can't post on Facebook! So yeah, that's where we are right now. So welcome to 2021. Welcome to 2021. Oh, a little bit of news... if you listened to the last episode and I said my brother was foolishly flying across the country to visit my elderly mother. Well the good news is that did not happen because at the last minute my niece, my brother's daughter, tested positive for Covid, so they realized, finally, Uh-oh! Maybe not a good idea! So that trip didn't happen. So that's a good thing. What else do I have to report? Here in San Diego, as you know perhaps, California has zero emergency hospital beds available because of the pandemic. And to bring it back to Trump, yes he is responsible, his government is responsible... oh God! Well, let that go... let it go for now. I just wanted to give you an update. I'm staying safe at home. I hope you're staying safe at home and I hope to bring you maybe a cheerier episode, an episode was a little more fun next time around. But for now I guess that's it. Thanks for listening and we’ll catch you next time. Ciao ciao.
    This podcast has NO advertising: I do it for you, soI hope you will spread the word. Follow on Spotify and instagram, and tell your friends! OK? Why not leave a review on Apple podcasts too! Thanks!

    • 6 min
    Season Five Finale: Lockdown Christmas 2020

    Season Five Finale: Lockdown Christmas 2020

    [EP 63] Wrapping up 2020! It's a lockdown Christmas: I talk about my dumb@as brother, try to give you some holiday cheer, and even give a good recommendation for a speech to text transcription app to help you with your English.
    Sorry, but there is NO transcription for this episode : it was a little too long to include.  BUT if you use the app I mention in the podcast, you can make it yourself!  In fact, if you use this link, you can get one month FREE of the pro service and you can get the audio from your ZOOM meetings transcribed to text!  https://otter.ai/referrals/LZB8CR97
    ****
    Happy Holidays!
    ***
    Unexpected English has NO advertising or sponsors, and I am not looking for students.  I do it for fun, and hope you enjoy it.
    If you do, please help spread the word. Follow on Spotify and instagram, and tell your friends! Thanks!

    • 9 min
    Alex@ and the Russian Conspiracy

    Alex@ and the Russian Conspiracy

    [EP 62] This was supposed to be a test, NOT a podcast episode! But why not? That's what makes the podcast "unexpected" -- so let's do it!  Warning: This episode may be difficult to understand because of poor audio... plus *someone* rants like a crazy conspiracy nut! *USE THE TRANSCRIPT BELOW*
    ***
    Hi everybody! It's me Louis with another episode of Unexpected English! It’s, well, this one is unexpected but it's not supposed to be an episode. In fact, you'll hear my wife say: Oh that's stupid, because, really, it was not planned as an episode! I'll tell you, I was testing an app that does speech to text, and I wanted to see if it worked, so I started acting like a crazy conspiracy person talking about, uhh, Alexa. I can't say... if I say Alexa... you know they won't run this podcast on A-M-A-Z-O-N so, I have to be careful. Anyway, it was just a crazy thing, but then I thought it was funny, So I thought, OK this is funny, and then my wife said, “no” and she heard it and she said “oh, it's kind of cute” so I thought ahh, what the heck, right? Uh, well, you decide, OK? You listen, you decide, here we go!
    ***
    Okay, so you have an Alexa in your house and you don't care that it's listening to you all the time? No, I don't care. There's that I have no secrets that Alexa would be interested in. But your private life; you have a private life. What's a private life? The things you want to keep private? Well, and why would anybody care about my private life? Not that anybody would care, but do you want Amazon to know about your private life? What are they going to do with that information? Sell it to the Russians? I don't know. The Russians would also have no need for it. Oh, so you're not like a high level government employee. No, I'm not. But you're a voter, you're an American voter. I'm an American voter and if the Russians want to know I'm voting for Biden. I'm ridin' with Biden. They want to know because now they're gonna, like, interfere with your social and everything else and send you lots of misinformation because you're a Biden voter and they don't like that. Well, that may be true but I won't pay attention to their misinformation. Oh yes, you will, you'll be manipulated! Social media manipulates people they don't even know! Oh, that's true, that happens. So maybe you want to rethink your Amazon acceptance. No, why? We just said why! Because the Russians are gonna send me memes and stupid information that is not true and I know it's not? You don't know it's not true because you'll... I do know it's not true. How do you know? Tell our fellow Americans how to tell the difference between a fake meme and a real meme. Well, if you... you can just go to Snopes.com and fact check anything. Snopes. How do you know that's not run by, you know, by anti-conspiracy, pro-pedophile, you know, overthrow the government. anti-Trump forces. That's just all crazy stuff. Oh, you call it crazy, we call it reality! Some people do call it reality, you're right. But I don't... I don't associate with those people. Yeah but, Alexa will associate you with those people because she's got your voice recordings! No, she won't associate me with them, because I'm not with them. I don't believe in them. Okay, go ahead, I guess this is a lost cause. She does not care about protecting herself from manipulation. Thanks everybody for listening. [That's not gonna be a podcast, that would be so stupid.] (pause) I just want to see if it worked. There you go. So look at this now. Scroll up and look and see, is it accurate? (unintelligible) Still recording? Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop!!! What the hell, where's the stop button? This will be a good podcast now because I can't find the frickin' stop button. Alright, there's a stop button here somewhere. Where are... where are...come on. Come on, stop! That's not it. That's not it. Oh there it is okay. Boom!
    ***
    permal

    • 6 min
    Two minutes, two guys!

    Two minutes, two guys!

    [EP61] In this episode I interview two guys a the local college about... well, just listen! Remember, Unexpected English brings you REAL English in short podcasts to help improve your listening while you have fun! Transcription included below!
    ***
    Hey everybody! Welcome to December 2020. Yeah, it's December of that god-awful year 2020. But the good news is it's episode 61 of Unexpected English, your favorite English podcast! And, guess what?  This episode is one of the reasons it became your favorite English podcast, because I know, like me, you enjoy the interviews. Because you hear real people, you hear different accents, and you don't know what's going to happen, and I found an interview from, oh a year ago or so that I had forgotten about. So I'm bringing it to you now, an interview with two students at a local college near me and, that’s it, I hope you enjoy it, and remember if you do enjoy it tell your friends so that everybody else can enjoy it too, all right? OK, here we go!
    ***

    All right so here we are at Mesa College, going to talk to a couple students. Are you guys both from San Diego? Yeah I've been born and raised. Born and raised, San Diego California. And what's the best part about living in San Diego? As cliché as it sounds, I want to say the culture of San Diego is probably my favorite part and just how diverse the entire community is. Umm, not to mention we have beautiful blue skies and sunshine every day. This is true, we do have good weather here, right? And the last time you left San Diego, where did you go? Umm, Seattle that's my favorite city in the world. Last time I left San Diego I went to Mexico. It was a lot of fun. Where, where in Mexico? I went to Tecate, Mexico I went there on a mission trip. Aha. And if you could go any place right now, I gave you, if I funded your vacation to go someplace, where would you go? Dude, send me to Italy! I want some of food, I want to wine, I want all that good stuff! Oh, OK, how about you?  I want to go to Japan really bad. I’m super into cars, and Japan has some of the best cars there. OK let me just ask you a little bit about Italy because most of my listeners are Italian so... yeah.. so.. what is it that is appealing about Italy to you? Umm, my parents are Italian so they talk a lot about how cool it was because they’ve been already and I've never been, but I hear that, like, the the culinary part of it is really nice and just the architecture is really beautiful and OK! Plus they have some really good music up there.. Beautiful, well OK, there you have it this is a spontaneous interview of two students here at Mesa College, thanks for your time guys! Yeah, thank you my man, appreciate it, have a great day!
    ***
    This podcast has NO advertising: I do it for you, soI hope you will spread the word. Follow on Spotify and instagram, and tell your friends! OK? Why not leave a review on Apple podcasts too! Thanks!

    • 3 min
    Reading Donald Barthelme #1

    Reading Donald Barthelme #1

    [EP 60] In this episode, I read just a little selection from a story by one of my favorite American short story writers!  His delightful story-telling and and language are WEIRD and FUNNY, so I hope you will enjoy it! If you do, please follow on Spotify and instagram, and tell your friends! 

    P.S. Is it Barth-el- may, or BART-el-may, or even Barth-Elm? Who knows?? 

    *** [TRANSCRIPTION OF READING]***
    My wife wants a dog. She already has a baby. The baby's almost two. My wife says that the baby wants the dog. My wife has been wanting a dog for a long time. I've had to be the one to tell her that she couldn't have it. But now, the baby wants a dog my wife says. This may be true. The baby is very close to my wife, They go around together all the time, clutching each other tightly. I asked the baby “Whose girl are you? Whose girl are you? Are you daddy's girl?” The baby says, “Mama.” And she doesn't just say it once, she says it repeatedly: “mama mama mama.” I don't see why I should buy $100 dog for that damn baby.
    ***
    Our baby is a pretty fine, baby. I told my wife for many years that she couldn't have a baby because it was too expensive. But they wear you down, you know? They're just wonderful wearing you down, even if it takes years, as it did in this case. Now I hang around the baby and hug her every chance I get. Her name is Joanna. She wears Oshkosh overalls and says, no, bottle, out, and mama. She looks most lovable when she's wet. And when she's just had a bath and her blonde hair is all wet, and she’s wrapped in a beige towel. Sometimes when she's watching television, she forgets that you're there. You can just look at her. When she's watching television, she looks dumb. I like her better when she's wet.
    ***
    This dog thing is getting to be a big issue. I said to my wife: “Well, you've got the baby. Do we have to have the damn dog too?” The dog will probably bite somebody or get lost. I can see myself walking all over our subdivision asking people: “Have you seen this brown dog?” “What's his name?” they'll say to me, and I'll stare at them coldly and say, “Michael.” That's what she wants to call it: Michael. That's a silly name for a dog. And I'll have to go looking for this possibly rabid animal and say to people: “Have you seen this brown dog, Michael?” It's enough to make you think about divorce.
    ***
    I looked at some dogs at “Pets o’ plenty,” which has birds, rodents, reptiles and dogs, all in top condition. They showed me the Cairn Terriers. The Cairn terriers ran about $295 per, with their papers. I started ask if they had any illegitimate children at lower prices, but I could see that it would be useless. And the woman already didn't like me. I could tell.
    ***
    What is wrong with me? Why am I not a more natural person, like my wife wants me to be? I worry that the baby may jam a kitchen knife into the electrical outlet when she's wet. I put those little plastic plugs into all the electrical outlets, but she's learned how to pop them out. I checked the Crayolas. They made Crayolas safe to eat. I called the head office in Pennsylvania. She can eat a whole box of crayons and nothing will happen to her.
    ***
    If I don't get the new tires for the car, I can buy the dog.

    ***
    This podcast has NO advertising: I do it for you, soI hope you will spread the word. Follow on Spotify and instagram, and tell your friends! Please?
    Why not leave a review on Apple podcasts too! Thanks! 

    • 8 min
    Shoot! A surprise vocabulary and idioms lesson! 💥

    Shoot! A surprise vocabulary and idioms lesson! 💥

    [EP 59] I'm publishing this one day after the 2020 Presidential election. We don't have a president in the USA yet, so how about a VOCABULARY lesson? I'll talk at random about using SHOOT and SHOT is some expressions. I can't fit a transcription here, so you may need to pay attention, take notes, and listen to the podcast a few times! Some of the phrases you will hear:

    To shoot a weapon, pistol shots
    to shoot past to shoot a look, email, message
    shoot a photo / photo shoot / nice shot (photo)
    Shoot! (polite exclamation) to shoot / (sports)
    Shoot - go ahead and ask me
    shoot the breeze / bull s
    shoot your mouth off
    shoot yourself in the foot
    to shoot for something, have as a goal to take a shot (attempt)
    a shot in the dark
    take your best shot
    to shoot down, get shot down
    shot - ruined, exhausted
    Not mentioned: a shot - a small glass of alcohol, a medical injection
    to shoot up - to fire many bullets, to inject drugs
    to shoot pool - play billiards
    There are probably others I can't think of, sorry!

    This podcast has NO advertising I just for YOUR entertainment and mine, so if you enjoy it, please support me. HOW? I hope you will spread the word. Follow on Spotify and instagram, and tell your friends! Why not leave a review on Apple podcasts too! Thanks!

    Need some links again?👉🏼  https://linktr.ee/unexpectedenglish
    Thanks and keep listening and improving!

    • 11 min

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Lemonade and pet pigs

That is an adorable episode

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