Why would anyone care what I have to say‪?‬ Crash Courses in Communication with Alex Perry

Hi, I’m Alex Perry host of the Practically Speaking podcast, where I demystify and simplify public speaking so you can say what you need and want to say.
I created this podcast because I want to talk to you about the issues and ideas that you have about public speaking, not just yammer at you about what I think is important about public speaking. And today, I’m excited because I’m answering a question that came from one of my #frontrow fans, KJ, and it’s one that SOOOOOOO many people ask, which is “Why would anyone care what I have to say?”
And what I love about this question is that it’s so applicable to many of the speaking scenarios we face in our daily lives, not just the “why would I get on stage and speak.” Still, it also applies to situations like, “why would anyone care what I have to say…in a meeting at work?”
“why would anyone care what I have to say…when I’m a board member for an organization?”
It translates to “why would my boss care about my idea?” Those are just a few of the examples that come to my mind when someone asks, “Why would anyone care what I have to say?”
What bothers me most about the question is that it stops many people from speaking up, it stops them from sharing their ideas, it stops them from asking for what they want and what they need every single day. And I can’t help but think what a great loss that is. It’s a loss for audiences that need to hear the stories and the experiences that you have that only you have- that will give them the motivation/inspiration to do what they want to do. It’s a loss to executive leaders who need to hear your dissenting opinion because if they don’t, the business will suffer. It’s a loss to your boss who needs to listen to the idea you have because it’s going to save the company money. It’s a loss to your manager who needs to hear that you need a raise because you haven’t had one in four years, and you’re contemplating quitting. And it’s even a loss to your friends who needs to hear your advice because they’ve got blind spots and they need your gentle words to help them see what they can’t see for themselves.
I could go on and on, but I hope you’re following me here.
Typically, when someone asks, “why would anyone care what I have to say” the responses we give most often, as coaches, leaders, co-workers, friends are usually lists of all the reasons why we think what you have to say is important. I mean, it’s easy for me as coach Alex to see why KJ should speak. It’s easy for me as a coach to list all the reasons why someone might want to listen to her stories, her ideas, her opinions. And it’s not a bad thing to do, to point out the reasons, I mean, it would make KJ feel good at the moment, and it might even give her the motivation to try to speak up a little more. But that not really going to help KJ in the long run.
Her motivation to speak will be short-lived because it comes from me and not from KJ herself.  So the better way to deal with this question of   “why would anyone care what I have to say?” is to address the real question KJ is trying to ask which is;
“Why do I really care about what I have to say?”
If KJ doesn’t care, why would anyone else?
You see, my opinion (or anyone else’s opinion) about why KJ should speak isn’t anywhere near as important as why KJ thinks she should speak. Only KJ can answer why it’s important to share her story. Only KJ can explain why her dissenting opinion matters. Only KJ can justify why she deserves the raise. Only KJ can speak up at the meeting and tell the team what they need to hear. Only KJ can answer ‘why would anyone care about what I have to say to say?”
Listen up, when we try to tell other people their “WHY” for doing something, their why behind what’s deeply personal to them about speaking or any other deeply held belief it’s their nature to disagree with what we’re telling them. For it t