112 episodes

Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thrive - and make their own lives a bit easier in the process. Like Janet Lansbury's respectful approach to parenting? Appreciate the value of scientific research, but don't have time to read it all? Then you'll love Your Parenting Mojo. More information and references for each show are at www.YourParentingMojo.com. Subscribe there and get a free newsletter compiling relevant research on the weeks I don't publish a podcast episode!

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive Jen Lumanlan

    • Music

Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thrive - and make their own lives a bit easier in the process. Like Janet Lansbury's respectful approach to parenting? Appreciate the value of scientific research, but don't have time to read it all? Then you'll love Your Parenting Mojo. More information and references for each show are at www.YourParentingMojo.com. Subscribe there and get a free newsletter compiling relevant research on the weeks I don't publish a podcast episode!

    106: Patriarchy is perpetuated through parenting (Part 1)

    106: Patriarchy is perpetuated through parenting (Part 1)

    "Wait, whaaaat?" (I can hear you thinking this now, as you're reading the title for this episode.)


    When I think of patriarchy, I usually think of a powerful guy in a suit. He's always white. He probably works in government or maybe high up in a corporation. He's part of The System, which is just The Way Things Are Done - and he's never going to listen to me. There's really not much I can do to impact this system.


    And patriarchy isn't good for any of us. It's not difficult to see how it represses women and any non-straight, white, hetero-presenting male. But the research base is also pretty clear that it harms men as well, by denying them the opportunity to express any emotion other than anger, which is linked to all kinds of both mental and physical health problems.


    But it turns out that a big part of perpetuating the patriarchal system is how women interact with men, as well as how we raise our children. And, suddenly, changing the patriarchal system becomes something that I can directly impact - and so can you.


    Listener Brian Stout and I interview the preeminent scholar in this field, Why does patriarchy persist? (https://amzn.to/38SL67b)


    In this episode we focus on the background information we need to understand what patriarchy is and how it impacts us, and in a future episode Brian and I return to discuss the implications of these ideas for the way we are raising our children.


    If you'd like to subscribe to Brian's newsletter, where he discusses issues related to Building a World of Belonging, you can do that here. (https://citizenstout.substack.com/)


    [accordion]


    [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"]


    Jen:                                    00:01:26 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/yh_0j7Dv2woAoHpPL9imi-w4Wy17DY208gD38OjM2Fx51hFqLEE5BUR-gwnAySbaIgSoxa_Wqf35MHdmh7skMd5R_Cs?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=86.23)              Hello and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. It's hard to know even where to begin on today's topic, which is patriarchy. Now, before you think to yourself, come on, Jen, aren't you overstepping your bounds a little bit here or maybe even am I listening to the right podcast? If you're seeing this topic as a bit of a non-sequitur with the kinds of issues that we normally discuss on the show related to parenting and child development, then I'd really encourage you to sit tight because this topic has everything to do with those things. I'm so honored that today we have an incredibly special guest to help us understand more about this topic and that's Dr. Carol Gilligan. I'm pretty sure there's a group of my listeners for whom Dr. Gilligan needs no introduction because they probably read and loved her work when they were in college, but for the rest of us, Dr. Gilligan received her Bachelor's Degree in English Literature from Swarthmore College, a Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Radcliffe College and a Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Harvard University. Her 1982 book In a Different Voice is widely regarded as a landmark and following her research on women and girls development, she began to study young boys and their parents as well as the relationship between men and women. Dr. Gilligan taught at Harvard for more than 30 years and is now on the faculty at New York University where she co-teaches a seminar on resisting injustice. That was the impetus for her most recent book. This was coauthored with one of her students Naomi Snider, and it's called, Why Does Patriarchy Persist? Welcome Dr. Gilligan.


    Dr. Gilligan:                      00:02:47 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/yh_0j7Dv2woAoHpPL9imi-w4Wy17DY208gD38OjM2Fx51hFqLEE5BUR-gwnAySbaIgSoxa_Wqf35MHdmh7skMd5R_Cs?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=167.35)              Oh, thank you, Jen. My pleasure.


    Jen:        

    • 1 hr 4 min
    105: How to pass on mental wealth to your child

    105: How to pass on mental wealth to your child

    **Reminder that my popular Taming Your Triggers workshop is currently open for enrollment at yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers - learn the sources of your triggers, how to feel triggered less often, and what to do on the fewer occasions when it still happens**

    Think about your parents.

    Now think about money.

    What kinds of ideas, images, and feelings came to mind?

    Do you recall any discussions about money - or were these hidden from you?

    Was there always enough to go around - or were you ever-conscious of its absence?

    What little incidents do you recall that ended up becoming defining 'money scripts' of your life?

    Perhaps it won't be a shock to learn that just as we learned how to raise children from our parents, we also learned how to think about money from them.  And as we will raise our children the way we were raised unless we choose a different path, we will also pass on our ideas about money - unless we decide differently.

    Today we hear from Dr. Brad Klontz, co-author of the book Mind over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders That Threaten Our Financial Health, who helps us to think through the money scripts we want to pass on to our children - and how to do this.

    • 54 min
    104: How to help a child to overcome anxiety

    104: How to help a child to overcome anxiety

    Listeners have been asking me for an episode on supporting anxious children for a loooooong time, but I was really struggling to find anyone who didn't take a behaviorist-based approach (where behaviors are reinforced using the parent's attention (or stickers) or the withdrawal of the parent's attention or other 'privileges.').


    Long-time listeners will see that these approaches don't really fit with how we usually view behavior on the show, which is an expression of a need - if you just focus on extinguishing 'undesirable' behavior, you haven't really done anything about the child's need and - even worse - you've sent a message to the child that they can't express their true feelings and needs to you.


    Listener Jamie sent me a link a book called Beyond Behaviors (https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Behaviors-Compassion-Understand-Behavioral/dp/1683731190) written by today's guest, Dr. Mona Delahooke, and I immediately knew that Dr. Delahooke was the right person to guide us through this. Listener Jamie comes onto the show for the first time as well to co-interview Dr. Delahooke so we can really deeply understand our children's feelings and support them in meeting their true needs - and overcome their anxiety as well.


    Also a reminder that the Your Child's Learning Mojo membership closes to new members on January 31 2020 - click here to learn more! (https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmojo/)


    [accordion]


    [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"]


    Jen:                                      01:28 (blank) Hello and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. Today, we're talking about a topic that parents have been asking me about for ages and that is how to support children who are experiencing anxiety. Now, it's not super hard to find research on anxiety and on treatments for anxiety, but the hard part is finding someone who doesn't just see anxiety as an unwanted behavior that we need to extinguish using reinforcements and who actually sees anxiety as a potential cause for behaviors like having a bad attitude or lacking impulse control that we might typically think of as bad behavior rather than being caused by anxiety. So, we have a special guest today who's going to help us move beyond this view of anxiety and that's Dr. Mona Delahooke. Dr. Delahooke is a licensed clinical psychologist with more than 30 years of experience caring for children in their families. She's a member of the American Psychological Association and holds the highest level of endorsement in the field of infant and toddler mental health in California, as a Reflective Practice Mentor. She has dedicated her career to promoting compassionate relationship-based neurodevelopmental interventions for children with developmental, behavioral, emotional and learning difficulties and has written a book called Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges. Welcome Dr. Delahooke.


    Dr. Delahooke:                 02:43 (blank) Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.


    Jen:                                      02:45 (blank) Thank you. And we have another special guest here today as well. We've heard about her, we've heard her words and now we're going to hear her very own voice. Today, we have with us listener, Jamie. She's not listener Jamie to us. She's Jamie Ramirez in real life and she and her wife are the proud parents of now 11-month-old daughter Elliot. Jamie struggled with anxiety for a good deal of her life and has also read on this topic a lot. And she was the one who suggested that I read Dr. Delahooke’s book and so when Dr. Delahooke agreed to an interview, it was only natural to ask Jamie to join me as a co-interviewer and she enthusiastically agreed. Welcome Jamie.

    • 52 min
    103: How to raise a child who uses their uniqueness to create happiness

    103: How to raise a child who uses their uniqueness to create happiness

    A conversation with Dr. Todd Rose, faculty member and director of the the Laboratory for the Science of Individuality at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Dr. Rose's book, Dark Horse, charts the paths of individuals who have learned how to harness their unique interests, abilities, and circumstances to create success and happiness - often far from the traditional path of elite universities and corporate careers.

    • 1 hr 10 min
    [Taking a Break]

    [Taking a Break]

    I’m taking a hiatus from the show; in this episode I explain why and what you can do to help make sure it comes back strong in 2020!
    Here’s the form to complete if you’re interested in learning more about the yet-to-be-named pilot membership to support children’s interest-led learning at home: https://forms.gle/GGKgdwaLkEfNfMA27

    • 7 min
    102: From confusion and conflict to confident parenting

    102: From confusion and conflict to confident parenting

    Do you ever feel ‘lost’ in your parenting?  Like you’ve read all the books (and even listened to the podcast episodes!) and you’ve agreed with them in principle, but somehow nothing ever seems to change?

    Your family feels directionless; you just muddle along having the same old fights with your partner about the same old things:



    * Should you praise your child when they do what you ask, so they’ll do it again next time? Or punish them for disobeying you?

    * Should you worry about (quality or quantity of) screen time?

    * Does it matter if you and your partner have completely different parenting styles?



    In this episode I interviewed Kathryn, and discussed:



    * The cultural differences between living in the U.K. and Canada (saying “please!” and certain differences in directness of humor😊)

    * How to begin to approach differences in opinion about parenting with your spouse in a way that doesn’t get their back up, but instead focuses on your (and their) values

    * The value of interacting with parents who are a little ahead of you and who can give you advice, as well as parents with younger children so you can see how far you’ve come and offer some support to them

    * How to align your daily interactions with your child with your overall values

    * The importance of bringing fun and playfulness to your parenting in a way that feels relaxed to you (and the positive impact this can have on your child)

    * How to problem solve with a child in a way that encourages them to bring their own solutions to the table



    If you’re interested in learning more about the Finding Your Parenting Mojo membership, you can find all the info on it at yourparentingmojo.com/membership – and also sign up for the FREE Top 5 Strategies to Tame Your Triggers webinar (scheduled for Wednesday September 30th at 11am PT) there as well.

    • 39 min

Customer Reviews

farm-her for life ,

Hits home time after time.

This podcast makes me wish my kids will never grow up so we can more fully embrace all the stages. It has elevated our parenting to a new level of enjoyment as we work through the ups and downs with better tools and mindset. What will we do when our kids outgrow Jen’s amazing age appropriate topics?! We’ll probably still listen! Thank you for all you do.

bsnyderrogers ,

My favorite podcast for understanding humans of all ages

I started listening to this podcast when I was pregnant, and despite my daughter only being 18 months now, it’s still my favorite informative podcast to listen too.
The respectful and research based information is useful much beyond parenting toddlers, and everyone would benefit from listening to most, if not all, of the episodes.
It’s the only podcast where I’m constantly sending episodes to everyone I know.

Harpsgirl ,

Go to source for educated parenting info

As an avid reader and researcher who no longer has time to read and dig into the research, due to parenthood and work, I truly appreciate this well informed podcast. Thank you for taking the time and effort to make this quality program!

Top Podcasts In Music

Listeners Also Subscribed To