Your Stupid Minds

Your Stupid Minds
  • 4.7 (27)
  • TV & FILM
  • UPDATED SEMIMONTHLY

Nick and Chris review a variety of camp, B, genre, and otherwise bad movies.

  1. OCT 31

    Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

    After a contentious bidding war with New Line Cinema, Miramax was determined to revamp the Halloween franchise with this jumbled mess. It's 1995's Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, starring Donald Pleasance, Marianne Hagan, Kim Darby, and Paul Rudd. When Michael Myers and his niece Jamie (J.C. Brandy) are kidnapped by cultists at the end of Halloween V: The Revenge of Michael Myers (don't worry, we get into the series chronology in the episode), Jamie is forced to give birth to a baby for we assume child sacrifice purposes. She escapes with her newborn but is murdered by Michael; the killer is singularly determined to wipe out his entire bloodline (but is shockingly not very adept at it). Meanwhile, a new Strode family has moved into Michael's murder mansion. Kara (Hagan) is a young woman trying to get her life back on track with her six year old son Danny (Devin Gardner). Much like his namesake in The Shining, Danny has special murderer powers and voices in his head, but unlike The Shining, this is unimportant and barely comes up. Tommy Doyle (Rudd, credited as Paul Stephen Rudd in this pre-Clueless role) is the kid from the first movie who talks about the Bogeyman. This run-in with Michael 17 years prior has left him traumatized and obsessed with the killer, researching occult reasons for his murder spree on the mid-90s internet. He finds Jamie's baby at a bus station and lackadaisically decides to take care of it while they kinda figure out a way to do something. Also Dr. Loomis (Pleasance) is back on his perpetual mission to find and apprehend Michael. Will these characters intersect? Does this movie have a purpose? Is Michael's mask too large, thick, and lumpy? Will someone get electrocuted so bad his head explodes? You'll have to listen to find out.

    1h 33m

  2. OCT 17

    The Murder Mansion

    Your Stupid Minds starts its spooktacular October with a Spanish/Italian collab that numerous Letterboxd reviews describe as "giallo meets Scooby Doo," presumably because there's one mask reveal and some Italians are involved. It's 1972's The Murder Mansion! After an "exciting" car/motorcycle chase, speed demon Fred (Andrés Resino) steals comely hitchhiker Laura (Lisa Leonardo) from sweaty creep Mr. Porter (Franco Fantasia). Meanwhile, neurotic divorcee Elsa (Analía Gadé) races off into the foggy night with some other people. They all find themselves lost in the fog (even after Fred asks directions from the Grim Reaper) and end up at the titular murder mansion, an old house in the foothills of Spain with its very own cemetery! It's overseen by the young Martha Clinton, a descendant of the house's original satanic inhabitants. Soon, strange things begin to occur, not entirely spurred by Fred's morbid fascination with going to the basement. A lumbering chauffeur (not unlike Maniac Cop or Tor Johnson) and an old woman (not unlike Vampiria or an elderly version of Martha) keep menacing the house guests. Is the house really supernatural, or is there a a more earthly, Giallo-like explanation? How many times will Fred go to the basement? Will a murder ever happen in the murder mansion? You'll just have to listen to find out!

    1h 10m

  3. OCT 3

    The Three Musketeers (2011)

    Wirework lover and wife guy Paul W.S. Anderson tries his hand at an adventure classic with 2011's The Three Musketeers! How is he going to find a way to add Matrix fights, laser traps and exploding airships into this one? Starring Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Mads Mikkelsen, Chrisoph Waltz, and, you guessed it, Milla Jovovich. After a successful heist in Venice, the musketeers and Milady manage to steal Leonardo la Vinci's famous airship plans. Athos (Matthew Macfadyen) uses his classic scuba ninja skills, Aramis (Evans) his Assassin's Creed cloak-wearing skills, and Porthos (Stevenson) his getting into prison on purpose skills. However, tragedy strikes when Milady, with the help of the Duke of Buckingham (Bloom) betrays the team and steals the plans for the duke. One year later, D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) is a Gascon bumpkin heading to the big city to start duels with everyone he meets. After picking a fight with Rochefort (Mikkelsen), the best swordsman in France, he picks fights with the 2nd-4th best swordsmen in France: the Three Musketeers. But they become friends anyway, and engage in a highly bastardized version of the book's plot in order to thwart the evil plan of Cardinal Richelieu (Waltz). Will the team accomplish whatever they were trying to do? Will they integrate a bunch of 2010s style 3D elements? Will an airship be shot at by an even bigger airship? You'll just have to listen to find out!

    2 hr

  4. SEP 19

    Arcade

    Your Stupid Minds returns to the deep well of Albert Pyun with another cyberspace type 90s movie about an evil VR arcade machine that turns you insane and then kidnaps you and is also Freddy Krueger. It's 1993's Arcade, starring Megan Ward, Peter Billingsley, John de Lancie, and Seth Green as "Stilts." After her mother's suicide, Alex (Ward) is struggling in school. During a visit to their favorite foggy subterranean arcade "Dante's Inferno," Alex and her friends check out a new VR machine called, uninspiringly, "Arcade," that makes you feel like you're INSIDE THE GAME despite it basically being a joystick and stationary Virtual Boy headset. After the amazing demonstration, Alex's boyfriend Greg (Bryan Dattilo) disappears, and Alex must find him. It turns out Greg was sucked INTO THE GAME and also the game is evil. She recruits Nick (Billingsley) to help. A visit to the video game studio and a talk with the game's creator provides surprisingly little information. He's just as confounded by his creation as everyone else. He doesn't know how it works or why it's evil, but they've got a Q4 financial report to release so it's gotta be released come hell or high water. Alex and Nick decide the only way to get their friends back (other friends are also sucked into the game both on and off camera) is to beat the game. Can they do it? And how convincing will these early 90s computer graphics be? This movie sat on the shelf for a few years. After the trailer's release, Disney sent them a cease and desist due to the game's not insignificant resemblance to Tron. They spent a few years replacing light cycles with skateboards before it unceremoniously sat on a different shelf: that of your local mom and pop video store.

    1h 11m

  5. AUG 22

    Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace

    Your Stupid Minds returns to computer with a sequel to 1992's cyber thriller The Lawnmower Man. Except 1996's Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (or is it Jobe's War?) is bigger, dumber, and significantly less financially successful, somehow opening at #19 in the box office on 1,600 screens. Starring no one from the original movie except Austin O'Brien. Peter (O'Brien) is an orphaned street urchin on the mean streets of cyberpunk L.A. And when it's cyberpunk L.A. you know what that means! It's perpetually night, it's torrentially raining, and people are warming their hands on fire barrels to counteract Southern California's famously cold climate. We can assume some kind of nuclear winter has set in, but it's never mentioned. Peter and his cadre of Burger King Kids Club members (including a dog) live in an abandoned subway tunnel and hack into cyberspace using stolen phone cards. That's where he recognizes Jobe (Matt Frewer) despite his dying in the last movie and being recast in this one as a completely different type of guy. Jobe wants him to get in contact with Dr. Benjamin Trace (Patrick Bergin) a replacement for Pierce Brosnan's Dr. Lawrence Angelo from the last movie. Once they get in contact, Jobe is trying to crack open the Chiron Chip so he can do evil cyberspace stuff. His friendly facade quickly crumbles and he starts doing his Jim Carrey Riddler imitation that Frewer eventually perfects in Generation X. What follows up until the last ten minutes isn't particularly important. Trace must do a CGI sword fight with Jobe to restore order or something. Also the dog can insert mini CD-ROMs with his paw.

    1h 32m

  6. AUG 8

    War of the Worlds (2025)

    Your Stupid Minds jumps right on the zeitgeist to cover possibly one of the worst movies of 2025. Released just a week ago on Amazon Prime Video, War of the Worlds (2025) asks the question "have you ever wanted to see the classic H.G. Wells story adapted into a 90 minute Microsoft Teams meeting?" And the answer from the public is a resounding "NO!" We should also note this movie was shot in 2020 using COVID protocols, and it shows. William Radford (Ice Cube) is NSA's only employee. When he isn't using government resources to spy on his daughter Faith's (Iman Benson) fridge, or uninstalling Counter-Strike from his son David's (Henry Hunter Hall) Steam account, he's trying to catch a hacker known as "Disruptor." He thinks he's pinpointed his location by copy/pasting his IP out of his YouTube video's source code (lol) and a task force comes to a building to take him down. Of course, if you've seen the title of this movie, you know none of this matters, because aliens invade and blow up a bunch of landmarks with meteors. The invaders are after data, trying to suck out all the data from the world's servers so they can become more powerful. With the help of his family and NASA friend Sandra (Eva Longoria), William uses all the apps available to him to save the world. Of course, he needs a little help from Faith's boyfriend Mark (Devon), an Amazon driver who uses his elite delivery skills to send William a flash drive packed with alien-killing viruses to his location using a drone. Did we mention this movie is on Prime Video? Will they save the world? Will Mark get promoted to a golden pee bottle? Will you throw up from the camera swirling across a computer screen at 3,000 miles per hour? You'll have to listen to find out! But please don't watch the movie.

    1h 18m

  7. JUL 25

    Ryan's Babe

    Your Stupid Minds continues its loose Canada series with a film that's been regarded as the Canadian equivalent of The Room. It's the aimless Tarantino-esque sex (?) comedy (?) Ryan's Babe (2000)! Ryan (Bill LeVasseur) is a Saskatchewan college student who's so easyGOING. He's held captive by an armed woman emerging from the woods, which gives him an opportunity to tell his entire life's story up to that point through a flashback embedded with yet another flashback. His neighbor Connie (Alix Hayden) has been obsessed with him since childhood. After numerous fruitless attempts to solidify their love, she fakes a suicide attempt, which throws her father Bill (Peter Cooy) into a drunken homicidal rage toward Ryan for doing... something. Leading her on? I guess? Which he didn't even do? Since Saskatoon appears to be devoid of any police presence, Ryan chooses to flee the town rather than have Bill brought up on attempted murder charges. Without going into insane detail about every single thing that happens to the hapless Ryan, I can say that his attempt to flee a murderous drunk leads him to be drugged unconscious several times, knocked out several times, hitchhike and pick up hitchhikers several times, assume several jobs (waiter, resort employee, stripper), have numerous relationships with other women, and pee at least three times on camera (with some aborted or fakes pees and poos along the way). What does all this mean? Nothing. Nothing at all. But this was a fun romp through rural Canada, shot on a micro-budget and with every single line ADR'd. We highly recommend it.

    1h 32m

  8. JUL 11

    The Red Maple Leaf

    Your Stupid Minds comes at you with our first foray into the filmography of Canadian auteur Frank D'Angelo. Off the heels of his infamous Sicilian Vampire, Frank brings back his menagerie of geriatric Hollywood stars to investigate the kidnapping of the American ambassador's daughter in The Red Maple Leaf (2016). The synopsis will be difficult since we suspect Frank locked in his cast before finishing the script, so there are big names with absolutely nothing to do whose scenes could have been excised entirely and it would have made the movie more coherent. Special Agent Alfonso Palermo (D'Angelo) is the best detective in Canada. His wife (Mira Sorvino) and daughter (Addison Holley) are killed in a car accident that leaves him miraculously without so much as a bruise. He mourns their loss through binge drinking and working really hard (because he's so good at his job). When the U.S. Ambassador to Canada's (Michael Paré) daughter is kidnapped, Al is sent in to investigate. He immediately starts antagonizing the dad, since he had an affair before. Well, he of course turns out to be right and his infidelities are the cause of the kidnapping. But we don't know that until Frank ambles through the film lackadaisically talking to a series of octogenarian Oscar winners and nominees. Featuring James Caan as a U.S. Senator, Kris Kristofferson as the President, Martin Landau as some driver, Paul Sorvino as Al's (not Mira Sorvino's) dad, Robert Loggia as some former governor, Doris Roberts as his wife, and Margot Kidder as his psychologist. Everyone I just mentioned is now deceased. Doris Roberts and Robert Loggia died before the movie came out. Among the alive stars includes Armand Assante, Eric Roberts, and Daniel Baldwin.

    1h 17m
See All (275)

4.7
out of 5
27 Ratings

About

Nick and Chris review a variety of camp, B, genre, and otherwise bad movies.

Information

  • Creator
    Your Stupid Minds
  • Years Active
    2012 - 2025
  • Episodes
    275
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    Your Stupid Minds