The Language Alchemy Podcast Alejandra Siroka

Are your interactions building genuine connections or just checking off boxes? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka delves into the difference between transactional and relational communication, questioning the common belief that communication is solely about achieving personal goals. 
 
Alejandra highlights that transactional communication is often mistaken for clear communication. When we  only focus on the goal of getting what one wants, this leads to transactional exchanges driven by safety and control. She contrasts this type of communication with relational communication, which prioritizes empathy, trust, and collaboration, fostering deeper connections and authentic self-expression. Alejandra shares key insights to help listeners distinguish between these two styles, noting that relational communication delves into intentions and emotions, while transactional communication is goal-oriented and can be superficial.
 
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own communication styles and consider embracing relational communication to cultivate more meaningful relationships.
 
Quotes
“Communication is the foundation for meaningful relationships.” (02:19 | Alejandra Siroka)
“The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships, and the quality of your relationships depend on the quality of your communication. Communication is relational.” (02:25 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“If you communicate with others to experience a meaningful relationship, then when you talk to your teenager, you consider your intention rather than your agenda. And so you reflect before you speak. Why does it bother you so much that your teenager is checking their phone the whole time you’re having dinner together? That’s when you realize that what’s bothering you is not the act itself. It’s the fact that you want to feel the connection with this being who’s growing, oh, so fast… The focus here is on the value of connection and the whole communication revolves around the kind of relationship we want.” (09:44 - 11:37 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Mental well-being is a state that enables us to handle stress, recognize our abilities, and contribute to our communities. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka explores the important relationship between language and our well being.
 
Unhealthy communication habits such as gaslighting, abusive and dehumanizing language in our interactions can lead to mental health struggles like low-self esteem, depression and anxiety. For a deeper dive into these topics, check out episodes #34 on gaslighting and #120 on dehumanizing language in relationships. 
 
Conversely, empathetic, kind, and supportive communication can promote mental well-being, maintaining healthy relationships and self-perception.
 
To contribute to our own mental well-being and that of those around us, here are five suggestions from Alejandra:
Discuss mental health issues openly and respectfully.
Be aware of your internal dialogue. For communication tools to bring awareness to your internal dialogue, listen to episodes #112 through #117 and episode #120.
Learn to use neutral, empathic, and kind language.
Work with your biases and bring awareness to the messages you inherited and still perpetuate.
Learn to talk about your needs and seek collaboration and support from others when you need it. For more on skillfully communicating needs, listen to episodes #138 through #142.
 
Find all these episodes at www.languagealchemy.com or on your favorite podcast platform.
 
Quotes
“When you think about what it is that we have available with us to make decisions, to build relationships and to shape the world we live in, that’s when you can clearly see that it is our language and how we use our language to communicate that allow us to do all these things. When our mental health is affected, we have trouble functioning in life. So it’s harder for us to make decisions, to develop and maintain satisfying relationships, and to shape our lives in alignment with our vision or our values.” (03:07 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“Communication plays a huge role in our mental health and well-being.” (03:48 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“Communication has a huge role in mental health as well as in mental illness. The language we use to communicate is so powerful that it can create mental illness, it can maintain mental health, and it can also contribute to bringing healing to our mental condition.” (08:26 | Alejandra Siroka)  
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

When you're providing a service, leading a group, or meeting someone in a professional setting, your words, tone of voice, and body language during your initial greeting can establish a foundation for a professional relationship built on confidence, collaboration, and trust. Similarly, the way you greet your loved ones can create positive and memorable experiences, strengthening the bonds with those closest to you. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka explores the importance of greetings and their impact on both personal and professional relationships. 
 
Alejandra shares the story of her first meeting with her beloved Matthew's family to illustrate how a heartfelt greeting can build lasting relationships. She compares this personal experience with professional settings like healthcare and yoga, where the way people greet each other can influence impressions of competence and openness.
 
Alejandra provides practical advice on how to consciously choose greetings that cultivate inclusivity and connection. She encourages listeners to reflect on their own greeting habits and consider how small changes in language and demeanor could enhance interactions and relationships.
 
Quotes
• “How we greet someone can impact an interaction and even the whole relationship.” (02:31 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “When you think about it, most relationships start with a greeting. Greetings can set us up for new, wonderful, and fruitful relationships. And of course, greetings can also create the space for hostility, distrust, and unsatisfactory relationships.” (03:05 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Greetings in professional relationships make a huge impact in terms of building trust, confidence, and collaboration from the start.” (06:43 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Something to remember: if you are someone who’s providing a service, leading a group, or meeting someone in a work or professional capacity, is that the words, your tone of voice, and body language with which you greet your client, your patient, your student, your class, your new coworker, can set you up for a professional relationship that inspires confidence, collaboration, and trust. Greetings can also set you up for positive and great experiences with the people closest to you, whether they’re your family or the people you live with.” (10:43 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “Greetings, which can be just a few words, let others know how present you are with them, how you feel about them, and what kind of relationship you have with them.” (11:45 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

How do we support others when they struggle to communicate their needs? In this final episode of her five-part series “Communicating Needs Skillfully,” Alejandra Siroka focuses on empowering individuals to help others, including children and adults, express their needs clearly, directly, and confidently.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the importance of teaching children to connect with and communicate their needs. She points out that these skills are fundamental to building a child's sense of self-worth and value. For parents and caregivers, she suggests practical communication tools addressing children’s emotions to their needs and using story characters to normalize discussions about needs in everyday conversations.
 
Many adults, regardless of gender, face challenges in expressing their needs due to societal conditioning that often discourages direct communication. To help overcome these barriers, Alejandra outlines four helpful strategies: asking open-ended questions that encourage expression of needs, paying attention to body language and tone of voice, affirming the importance of their needs, and celebrating their successes in expressing needs.
 
By sharing transformative communication tools, Alejandra encourages listeners to have patience and persistence in supporting others as they learn to communicate their needs more openly.
 
Quotes
• “When you are in relationships with others who can't communicate their needs openly, freely, and directly to you, that may be because they've been discouraged to communicate their needs, or because they don't feel safe with you, or they don't know how to relax with you and they don't fully trust that you are going to listen to their needs. This impacts the quality of your relationships.” (01:56 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “If you have little ones, you need to be not only aware, but also intentional about teaching them to communicate their needs.” (03:47 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you teach children how to connect to and communicate their needs out loud, you are also teaching them that they're valuable and that they matter.” (06:58 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “A loving thing you can do consistently is to be explicit in telling them that their needs matter to you, that their needs are important.” (11:01 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Be patient with others when they don't know how to communicate their needs directly, clearly, or confidently. And if you've had some success with someone and they were able to communicate a couple of needs to you, that doesn't mean that expressing their needs will be easy from now on. This takes time.” (13:00  | Alejandra Siroka) 
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Are you finding it challenging to communicate your needs clearly without coming across as inconsiderate? Alejandra Siroka continues her series on "Communicating Needs Skillfully" and uncovers how to express needs in a way that they can be heard and honored by others.
 
Alejandra asserts that when communication stems from a sense of self-worth and a sincere desire for mutual understanding, it naturally takes on a warm and inviting tone—a tone that significantly impacts the listener's perception of the message and their openness to addressing the expressed needs. She shares four essential elements that need to be present when we communicate our needs skillfully:
 
Conscious Intentions - Our intentions shape our tone of voice and influence the message's reception.
Mindful Selection of Words - Alejandra advises against using language that blames, accuses, or manipulates. Instead, she gives a tip to assess how those words might be received by others.
Communicating Values - Expressing the values behind our needs can enhance the listener's willingness to hear and support our needs.
Expressing Needs without Attachment to Outcome - Alejandra emphasizes the importance of recognizing that others are not responsible for meeting our needs. She highlights the necessity of being creative when it comes to meeting our own needs.
 
If you understand the importance of communicating your needs but struggle to put it into practice, Alejandra can provide personalized assistance. She offers an invitation to join the Language Alchemy Group Coaching program starting this month. This three-month journey is designed to enhance your communication skills with tailored support. It's an ideal opportunity for those seeking personal growth and healthier relationships by addressing communication goals and challenges.
 
Quotes
• “If your intention is grounded in showing up as a human being who's worthy, not entitled, but worthy of collaboration and contribution, then your tone of voice will naturally be warm and inviting. It will communicate to the other person that your needs are something positive.” (00:00 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Intention is crucial because even though you will not be expressing your intention out loud, your intention is going to be communicated in your tone of voice." (05:36 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "When you let the other person know how, by supporting your needs, they are contributing to something important for you, the other person is more likely not only to hear your needs, but also to be willing and happy to support them. Because they're hearing loud and clear that they will be contributing to something valuable." (14:22 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When we are in conscious relationships with others, We understand that other people are not responsible for meeting our needs. We are responsible for meeting our needs." (15:12 | Alejandra Siroka) 
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Navigating through life's challenges is one thing, but thriving and finding deep fulfillment is an entirely different journey—one that hinges significantly on our ability to communicate our needs clearly. Alejandra Siroka returns in this episode with Part 3 of the “Communicating Your Needs Skillfully” series, where she discusses the critical role of articulating needs in personal development and the cultivation of meaningful relationships. Alejandra highlights the positive effects of recognizing and meeting each other's needs, emphasizing how mutual support fosters joy, interconnectedness, and a sense of belonging. She argues that expressing needs not only affirms our own life and self-worth, but also strengthens self-esteem and contributes to balanced, healthy relationships.
 
Alejandra points out significant disadvantages when needs remain uncommunicated. Not expressing needs can entrench negative self-perceptions, including feelings of unworthiness or misplaced superiority, and erode self-esteem and confidence. It can also signal distrust and undervalue the capacity of loved ones to meet those needs, robbing them of the fulfillment that comes from providing support. Furthermore, failing to articulate needs prevents the fulfillment of relational needs, leading to emotional disconnection and potentially triggering anxiety, depression, and other negative emotional states. This silence hampers personal growth and the ability to maintain enriching, satisfying relationships.
 
To address these challenges, Alejandra introduces her Language Alchemy Group Coaching Program set to begin this April. This three-month program is designed to create a supportive community environment where participants can develop the skills to communicate their needs with clarity, confidence, and conviction. Through this initiative, Alejandra aims to equip individuals with the tools necessary for fostering clear and meaningful interactions, promising a path toward personal growth and healthier relationships. Learn more here.
 
Quotes
• "When you have a thriving and meaningful life, when you have equitable relationships, you experience interconnectedness." (04:41 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When you help contribute to others' well-being, you are also contributing to your own well-being." (04:50 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "When you communicate your needs out loud, you are giving others that opportunity to feel wonderful, to feel tender, generous, happy inside. And you are communicating to others that they are worthy of your trust, of your ask, and that whatever they're giving you to help you fulfill your needs is good, valuable, and appreciated." (08:16 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When you communicate your needs, you are affirming the importance of your life. When you ask for what you need, when you express your needs out loud with clarity, with confidence and conviction, you are reaffirming to yourself that you matter, that you are worthy of being given to. and that you and your life are valuable. And this is something very powerful and crucial to communicate if we want to have healthy relationships. Relationships in which you and the other human being have equal value." (08:53 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "To have healthy relationships, we need to communicate our needs out loud." (13:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching c