Show of the Century Writing Van Drunen

Transcript of Episode, starting with Alex: Welcome, listeners, to the Show of the Century, your source for all things relevant to this Century no matter which side you’re on! If you’re just joining us after a thousand year nap and need to catch up on the modern-day news, you can listen to all of our episodes from the beginning on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Maybe while you do that, you can have a cup of “Last Night”, the best coffee this side of 1830, brewed with a special combination of love and regret for superior bitterness. Go to www.lastnight.com and enter the code “Century” into the searchbar for a special deal of ten percent off their top three brews, only this month. Listeners, I’m very excited to tell you that this week we have with us none other than Dr. Demagogue's newest top henchman, Slopgut Breakbones himself! Slopgut, we’re so glad you could make it.
Slopgut: I’m happy to be here.
A: Fantastic! Slopgut, I’d like to begin by congratulating you on your new position. It really takes some spirit to get promoted in such a competitive job market. Can you tell us what led you to be in the employ of the famous Dr. Demagogue?
S: I killed his last big henchman.
A: Ah, the old Madmace?
S: Yes. Challenge season.
A: Ah, the traditional method of succession. May I ask you some questions about what it’s like to work for Dr. Demagogue?
S: Yes.
A: What’s your favourite part of the job?
S: I love the tanks.
A: Ooh, do tell us more!
S: Dr. Demagogue likes making tanks. They knock down things in front of them. Also, they shoot things. I get to drive one.
A: Talk about job perks! May I ask what Dr. Demagogue plans on using the tanks for? He’s got a feud going with Dr. Blasted, doesn’t he?
S: Classified.
A: Alright. Can you tell us about Dr. Demagogue’s most recent success?
S: Crushed three acres of Sunny Forest. Made tree pulp.
A: Wow! I bet there was quite a celebration in the henchmen barracks that night.
S: Yes.
A: Which leads us to another question: What do you do for fun?
S: Eat bugs. Large bugs, small bugs, green squishy bugs. I eat them.
A: Sounds relaxing.
S: Also fight worms.
A: What kind of worms?
S: Long mouths. Big teeth. Sometimes leg.
A: Legs?
S: One leg. Pointy. Venomous.
A: Exciting.
S: Yes.
A: Alright. Now, this may be a bit personal, but it’s traditional to ask this of all of our guests: What kind of house do you live in?
S: Mud. Sticky mud.
A: An excellent choice of dwelling space. Now, we’re almost out of time, so is there anything you’d like to tell our listeners before we have to go?
S: Drink blood.
A: Good advice! Well, thank you for joining us, Slopgut.
S: I was honored.
A: And so were we. Listeners, this has been the Show of the Century, hosted by me, Alex Johnson, edited by Ralph Roundhouse and Faraja the Gracious, published by Daisy Putrid, with input from Golden Talon, Exo the Decayed, and Heloise Justa. Thank you to “Last Night” Coffee for sponsoring this episode. Stay alive, everyone!