Jojot’s Causalities Paola Zamora Jojot

It went on like this: Do you remember the great soap
opera actor Arnaldo André? The one from the beginning of this book, my dad’s
favourite actor? -Remember how seeing his romantic gesture on the show, my dad then
decided to visit Paraguay?- Well he was an actor my siblings and I really
enjoyed watching too. One day, I don’t even remember where from, I received the
information that Arnaldo was going to direct his biopic in Paraguay the
following year, that a man named Marcos was going to produce it locally.

To me, it would be a great opportunity to meet a great
actor from the Argentinian Film & TV Industry, so I found out where Marcos
worked, he was the owner of a small Production Company. I got his contact
details and called every single day for two weeks straight, -The answer was
always the same- “He is away”. After trying him for two weeks, I thought maybe
it was a mistake, that there would be no movie or that he wasn’t going to work
on it.

I gave up, I stopped researching about it, I stopped
trying to find Marcos or to even think about the film anymore. A few days
later, I was reading the Sunday Magazine, when I came across a full-page
interview about a paraguayan filmmaker who was overseas directing a shortfilm.
Can you believe the interviewe was to this Marcos guy I was looking for so
much? Thanks to the article I was able get his full name and to confirm he was
actually a Film Director. Of course he was away, he was in LA making a film. Neat!

I ran to my Facebook
to look him up, I befriended him and sent him a direct message. With all my
breeziness and bravery, I introduced myself telling him I was studying dramatic
arts and that I was fluent in English. I told him I’d love to act on his next project.
He got back to me instantly. He was very nice to me, and told me he was away
for two more weeks. He asked me to please take my resumé to his office, he’d
call me as soon as he was back and had a chance to look at it.

Exactly two weeks later, the 23rd of August, 2011 -I
remember it exactly because it was my dad’s birthday- we were getting ready for
the family asado -argentinian style
barbecue-, when my phone rung. On the other side of the line, a producer named
Laura introduced herself, she was calling on Marcos’ behalf. I couldn’t believe
he actually came back and looked at my resumé as he said he would. She told me
they went through it together and that he asked for me, they had a proposal. We
arranged to meet the following morning to discuss it further.

I met with Laura, she told me Marcos was opening a new
Production Company, she also told me about the LA shortfilm. Marcos hired her
as the Line Producer and she needed help with the upcoming productions. She said
that Marcos liked my profile and he wasn’t sure what role I was after -acting
or crewing-, but that they really needed a hand as crew. I was completely
honest, I told her I was studying to be an actress and that I loved what I did.
I also told her I was thinking of crewing one day, but that I had zero
experience as Crew.

She thought that was great. She told me that with my
experience on set as an actress I knew the gist already, and that they were
looking for someone with my eagerness and spirit. I was inexperienced, so I
couldn’t get straight into my duties. She offered me to do a three-months
unpaid internship -expenses paid only-, where they’d teach me everything I
needed for the job, they’d get me ready. By the end of those three months, if we
both wanted to continue, they’d hire me full-time. She was also interviewing a
couple of girls that afternoon, then, meeting with Marcos that evening to
choose the right candidate. Two days later they called me, I got the job. I was
starting the following Monday…

Did you see what happened there? Crazy, huh? And to think
that all started with a piece of misinformation that I don’t even know where I
got it from, just after that shooting week where I started considering
to

Here I need to do a small parenthesis to link it with
another story I’ll tell you about in a few pages: By the beginning of 2011, a few
days before my first day of Uni, I went to an audition for a TV Commercial. I
had to say a few words about myself, so I said that in a week’s time I was
starting dramatic arts classes, and told her the name of the place. The new
Production Assistant, Margarita, told me she was going to start in that school
too. A week later we ran into each other and we sat together in class. When the
class was over, whilst I was waiting for my dad to pick me up, we joined her
sister Verónica and her group. Vero was in second year. With time, I ended up
connecting more with Vero and her class than with Margarita and mine.

As I was telling you: In 2011, first year of Uni -my
third year of dramatic arts altogether- I also started rehearsals with the Theatre
Company. It was completely different and more competitive, sometimes even
hostile. But like in any industry, there are some really mean people as they
are the most amazing people ever. Part of the job. It was an amazing
experience, unforgettable and unique. I learnt so much, it was my first
profesional gig, yay! We rehearsed dancing, singing and acting. We had a season
of six weeks, and after that, a lot of shows for school students throughout the
year. Each single show was different from the other. I also realized that
acting in front of teenagers was a real challenge, because you have to perform
in such way to amaze and keep three hundreds young boys and girls -full of hormones
and insecurities- quiet and interested, watching a two-hours-long musical.

In april 2011, I took a one-month acting workshop facilitated
by a famous paraguayan actor, whom I met when I was an extra for a few days on
his show. We were eight students, between them I met Celeste. Honestly I don’t
remember who else was taking this class. With Celeste we exchanged contact
details and kept the other up to speed if one had to skip a day or was late.
When the workshop finished, we lost touch.

At the same time, I was acting in independent film
projects. I started getting Thiago involved in the acting world too, he went to
classes and auditions with me. One day Margarita called me with an audition for
him for the 2011 American Cup. Thiago and his twin, Máximo, were cast for this
big TVc. It was a hectic week of long daily shoots, where I -of course-
accompanied them. Some where exterior night shoots until sunrise in the middle
of winter. I enjoyed each single day, I was happy and with all the energy throughout
the whole shoot. I was in Paradise.

Besides, that TVc was produced by the best Production Company
in the country and with the best Director of Photography. The vibes were great.
During that crazy week, crewing started to call my attention. This was in June
2011, that’s when I started to think I’d like to study Films and TV once I graduate
from acting school…

What I am going to tell you now is one of the craziest
and most influential causalities of my life. The one it blows my mind the most. Since I linked these factors,
that turned out to be magical and understood how crazy and causally life is,
the saying “everything happens for a reason” became my motto...

Well, back to my story: I did plays and shortfilms at school that year, as well we created with my class-mates and colleagues some amateur shortfilms. We did this to learn, to grow and gain experience. To seek out for our own opportunities, to create them. That’s how I spent all of the year 2010. Growing and learning in both acting schools and building up my resumé…

Since I was 18, I dreamed of moving to Los Angeles -The film capital-, and to live my life acting, in one of the biggest film cities in the world. -I even see myself at the Academy Awards Ceremony, I see the dress I’ll wear-. I set my goal to save up and move up there when I turned 21, as soon as I graduated from my acting career.

By September 2010 I was about to graduate from High School and I was studying acting. But I had to do something else -or so society said, so much so that I started believing it-. Since I was a little girl I was curious about being a flight attendant, I found it quite exciting. I never saw it as my goal but it definitely caught my attention. I only let it to be a remote fantasy because every time I said something about being keen to do it, my Mum would say something negative about it. What she said the most about it in a very demeaning way, was:

+”To be a flight attendant is like to be a waitress but on a plane”. -So what?-

So, all those comments when I was a little girl, limited me. But now that I am a grown-up I think about it, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with serving people, getting to know them, helping them…

Just when I was making a decision about my future -I don’t recall how but I ended up with the information about how awesome it was to flight with Emirates- All that admiration I had for that profession rushed back in. That company happened to be scouting in Paraguay next month, for new cabin crew. It was a big company and a huge salary, so my parents didn’t think it was a bad idea anymore. They bought me a nice suit like the flight attendants use, and drove me to the Sheraton Hotel for the interview.

That lounge room was filled with young people -like me- that dreamt about flying across the globe. That first group talk was awesome, they showed as videos and photos of where we would live in Dubai, they told us about the beach front apartment we’d be given, besides the high salary and all that world-traveling. Wow! It was a dream indeed. They measured my height -I am quite tall, so first test checked-. When it was my time to have a one-on-one interview, that’s when my dream fell apart like a balloon that’s been bursted. They told me the mínimum age requirement was 21 -I was about to turn 18-, that I should come back in three years time. Bummer!

Few days later, my dad -now excited with me being a flight attendant- showed me an ad from a big South American airline that was going to be scouting for new cabin members soon. -This time I made sure my age was within the requirements- I signed up. I arrived to the meeting at the hangar, we were so many people there. Again, group interview, then onto the next round and the next one after that. In each round, there were fewer of us left. I made it to the crucial round, the swimming test. My dad was so sure I was going to be eliminated because I never was a good swimmer. I only swam to survive and not to drown. Neither I was so sure I’d be able to overcome it.

I had hopes though, I trusted in myself and I was 100% willing to overcome my own limits. I went to the swimming club where the test was being held. I looked at the massive olimpic swimming pool with respect. -We had to go across it without stopping for even a second- I got into my marine blue one-piece swimsuit and jumped into the shallow part of the pool, to warm up with some of the girls I met on the previous rounds. 

By the beginning of 2010 whilst I was doing my last High School year, I started studying acting for films with her. As I hadn’t graduated yet, I had to do a pre-University year. It’s like in other careers, when you take classes to get ready to start the career. I loved doing that extra year. I learnt a lot and I also met awesome people like Luz -who ended up becoming my best friend, and still is today-. Besides starting Uni more prepared, my Pre-U acting-in-front-of-the-camera teacher taught me something that imprinted my soul:

“You ought to create your own opportunities. Research, knock on doors, don’t sit on your couch waiting for Hollywood to suddenly call you and hire you for their next movie. They won’t, not if you are not making it happen”.

Wise words! They go hand by hand with what my sister Micaela told me few years back, about being independent; and with what a friend who I care about deeply, would later teach me: “It’s meant to be if you make it happen”.

Yeah I know, it seems obvious, right? But I feel like sometimes we forget that little detail “To create our own opportunities”, and we get frustrated and mad because our dreams are impossible. Of course it won’t be possible if you don’t set it as a goal, as a life plan. Because your dreams won’t go towards you without you beginning your way towards them first. Got it?

In regards of people thinking and having opinions about it, saying that “our dreams are impossible”, let me tell you they are wrong. “Impossible is just an opinión” as Paulo Coelho said -Brazilian author that inspired me a lot- Of course, it’s way easier to deny it than to fight for it. Shield ourselves behind the “I can’t do it” without even giving it a shot. This is what happens to the majority I’d say, it’s easier to say “I have no dreams”. What? That is in fact, impossible. Are you alive? Then for sure you have dreams and passions…We live because we dream. If we don’t dream we are dead alive. The fact that you don’t dare to say them out loud because you think you don’t deserve them or that they will never come true, that’s a different thing. Believe me, that happens way too much. It breaks my heart when I notice it.

It’s also easier to say “It’s an impossible dream”, than to write them down, set it as your goal and go for them. In love too actually, it’s easier to say “it’s complicated”, or to try to deny a feeling…than to give in and dare to love.

We think we are smart people by lying to ourselves with those silly fake affirmations. In reality it’s impossible to lie to ourselves. We can say one of those affirmations a thousand times, but we still won’t buy it. Deep down we know. That ends up frustrating us, making us miserables and unhappy. So, what’s the point then?

Stop trying to convince yourself. I extend you an invitation to go get it. Visualize your dreams and make them come true, but for real this time. Don’t half-ass it. One thousand kilometers are reached by doing one meter at a time. Step by step, but with your sight on your horizon. Start today with the first step, with all the faith in yourself. Set up deadlines to each dream, to each step and project. As I heard in a film that I can’t recall the name of: “Those ‘One day…’ never arrive, we ought to set a date for it”.

Everything is possible! Believe in yourself, get that in your head. You are capable of doing everything you dream of, if you do it so whole-heartly. The only limit exists in our mind, in our fears; and fears aren’t even real. We unconsciously set our own limits. We are our own obstacle. Our mind is stronger and more capable than we think. We can be our own enemy and self-sabotage our path.

Jump over your own barrier, overcome your obstacles and turn them into steps to get you closer to your goal. The same way you convinced yourself it’s impossible, you can change the mindset to: “It’s possible. I am capa

By the end of 2008, watching Gastón Gaudio play the final round at the Roland Garros, we all -my brothers and I- decided we wanted to play tennis, so we started going to play between the five of us. I was just back from the U.S. and had about three months off before the next school year started, so I signed up for a tennis class in the social club. That’s how I met Catalina, my tennis coach. As training and weeks went by, we got closer and closer. We became friends, so she started coming home, meeting my brothers and hanging out with all of us. Until she fell in-love with my brother Máximo and they started a serious relationship.

So, on one of those movie days at home, Catalina played for me the precise movie at the right time of my life. Do you want to know what film changed my life?: The Secret- the law of attraction”. It’s impressive the impact that documentary had on me. It was a before and after in my life, another thing unlocked in me. You didn’t watch it? I think you need to go straight away, google it and watch it. Urgently! If you did watch it, do it anyways…it’s always a good idea to remember such a magical secret. It truly changed the way I see and live my life. How fantastic! Right? I did watch it a few more times during the years after that day, and on each time, it gets me in a different way. I see it differently and learn new things.

You may think this is crazy, but that’s the magic of arts, am I right? A film, a photo, a frame, a theatre play, a book or a song; can get to you so deeply, that you are a different person ever since that piece of art touches your soul… That movie was meant to come to my life at that exact time. -I will eternally be grateful with you, Catalina, for gifting me with it-

Another awesome film that I watched with Catalina during those weeks is “The Pursuit of Happines” starring Will Smith. What a film, oh my God. I am fascinated by it, I love it. It has taught me so much. It inspired me to never give up, no matter what. To go for my dreams even if the whole world is against it. -Will Smith: You are a role model as an actor and as a human being, if I have to choose one person in the whole world to admire, I choose you. Thank you for all your magic-.

I experienced all of this at that time of my teenage years where one decides whether to dream and go for it or to give in to the deadly society routine and rules. At the right time where one finishes forging the personlaity, values and own horizon. Even John Lennon with “Imagine”, Bon Jovi with “It’s my life” and Frank Sinatra with “My way”, among others, reached out to my soul imprinting it with their beautiful lyrics, guiding me towards the most beautiful path: To be a dreamer. What an awesome path that is! I am so happy. In fact, I learnt that happiness is a choice and comes from within. Being happy is not a mood nor it’s an utopia, happiness is not a final destination. It’s the journey, the way we see and live life.

Every day we are more dreamers in this world, though I wish every single human being was a dreamer. Can you imagine it? As John Lennon said:

“But I am not the only one

I hope some day you'll join us

And the world will live as one”

How beautiful that would be, right?

Something that gets to my nerves in big cities are the unhappiness-faces people have on their way to work. Today, something as simple as going about the city smiling is rare. Stands out, they look at you weirded out about it, but…damn it feels so good.

During my time in the U.S., I kept in touch via chat with my friends from Paraguay, specially with Ana, one of my best childhood friends. I noticed how she became very good friends with this new girl in school, Victoria. They seemed unbreakable together, all the time the two of them, in every photo. I felt curious about who she was. Funny thing is that Victoria heard all about me and felt curious too. She added me on Orkut -old social media platform kinda like Facebook, before it existed-. We started chatting a lot and we got along pretty well. And she lived two blocks away from me! That brought us closer and we became inseparable throughout our last two High School years. Now we don’t even live in the same contintent, but I will always be there for her.

I went back to Paraguay in December 2008 and started my High School paperwork, validated them from Spain and started school again with my same classmates. I must confess I felt a bit iffy about going back to the same people that were so racist towards me all those years. But I had friends there too, just a few though but I prefered to continue with them. After all, that school was like my second home for so many years.

************

To my surprise, almost daily I got one or two comments from my class-mates and from the other classes, things like: “Hey, I love your eyes”, “What a lovely smile”, or “I love your curls”. Those flattering comments plus those ten guys back in Florida, could not have been a coincidence. They saw something in me I wasn’t seeing, so I realized there was more to me than what I could see. Little by little, that ugly image I had of myself, started vanishing. I started seeing my true self, and not the one I created in my head. I started accepting myself, loving my body, my lips, my eyes and all of me. I started loving myself, and no one could ever take that away from me…

Funny thing is that my curls are part of my identity today, I love them and it’s the part of me I get the most compliments for. I decided to look at myself with eyes of love. Never again would I let someone else’s comments about me, condition or affect the way I see myself. You shouldn’t allow it either, because nobody can define you, you are the only one that can define yourself and can decide who you are…

Fortunately, my former class-mates grew up and were nicer to me than before, they still were a bit close-minded when it came to foreigners though. It was all good until, out of the blue, they started insulting me as a group again. Sometimes they were kidding, sometimes they really meant it.

Beyond those little teenage jokes out of ignorance, what I am never going to forget is how the teachers let the bullying happen and even laughed at it with them instead of making it stop. There is one particular day that hurt me more than the sum of all those years. And I am going to tell you, so I can finally let it off my chest because it’s something I‘ve never talked about with anyone, I never said out loud how bad that made me feel. But not only that, I’ll tell you, to as well rise at least a bit of consciousness on the subject; and if you ever witness an abussive behaviour of any kind…you could intervene and not be indifferent, because indifference hurts just as much: