Courageously Mom-Encouragement for Parents of Children with Special Needs, Autism Moms, ADHD Tanya Neff

You're not happy.  You feel angry and bitter.  You hate feeling this way and you may not even know what is bothering you...or maybe you do.  Maybe you're struggling to forgive someone and carrying that hurt.  Maybe you're struggling to forgive yourself?  Forgiveness can be so hard especially when the pain is so deep. BUT Forgiveness is often the answer and first step to being able to move forward, grow and become all that you're supposed to be...and that includes Happy. It's hard to move forward when you keep looking back so it's up to us to make the decision to let go of it all so we can be better for ourselves and for those we love.

A new year is a time of hope and struggle for every person. In this podcast, Tanya will discuss three goals that can help special needs moms to get through the challenging moments. this year and throughout your life.
The New Year is a good time to take a look at your life and see what you want to change. Here are 3 important goals for special needs mom:
Take care of yourself: find ways to take care of your physical and mental health so that you can be the best mom for your kids.  If you don’t recharge yourself how can you be there for your special needs child and the family
Put play time on the schedule: Build in some "family" time to spend with your kids and husband. This could be as short as 10 minutes or as long as 3 hours. It can’ t just  be therapy and assessments.  Add in some things you all love doing together whether it be out to dinner or a movie.
Focus on the positive: Think about what's going well in your life and all the strides your child has made. Try not to let what others think your child is capable of doing. You know as their mom and see it day to day.

Getting a diagnosis can be a shock for a parent. The fear of the unknown, the fear of what's going to happen to their little one can make them feel overwhelmed. This is when faith and hope come in to keep us going through this tough time. Sometimes it feels like there are no words for what you're feeling, but there are ways to find comfort in knowing that others have been in this position which offers help in understanding.
In today’s episode Tayna discusses her top three fears and how faith has helped her on days that seemed long and hard.   Many parents experience that feeling of the fear being greater than faith and hope. Tanya encourages you to pray, to show up as you are. To ask for continued strength, but also wants to encourage you to see what is already inside of you. 
 

Parents of autistic children want to give their kids the best life possible and this often means letting them go and getting as much independence as they can. They understand that their kid has a different way of thinking and often work with them to help foster their independence.
In today’s episode, Tanya discusses the challenges that arise when your child starts advocating for more independence.  Do you let them make mistakes or do you take control and handle it to avoid heartache? It is also important for parents to find the balance between giving too much help and not enough help.

As a parent of a child with special needs, the holidays can be tough. This is because you often need to plan ahead to accommodate your child’s needs and this can come as quite the surprise to your family. Listen to this podcast for some tips on how to survive the holiday season as a special needs parent.  Tanya discusses what she has done to help sooth her child from sensory overload and about being a picky eater.
Listen to Tanya’s tips on how to enjoy the holiday season. Have that extra glass of wine or piece of pie!  She provides suggestions on what you can do to make life easier for yourself ahead of time. You'll find that everything will go smoother when it comes time for your holiday celebrations.

Show notes:
Hi everyone. It's Tanya I'm back after a long hiatus of recording any episodes and my apologies. Life was, or has been completely overwhelming and hectic. And I know if anyone understands that it is the moms that are listening to this podcast. So I thank you for your understanding. I'm happy to get back to this and share what's been going on because life the last six months has definitely given many, many topics to talk about here.
 
So what am I going to be talking about in this episode? The first episode back? Well, I've got to be talking about careers, motherhood, and autism, and all the good stuff that goes with it.
 
Like, do you stay at work? Do you go back? All those things that I have personal experience to talk about. And so let's get to it.
 
Hey, Courageous Mom. I want you to know that you are so brave raising those children and giving everything you have for everything that they need. I've been there and understand what it's like to feel like you're lost. To feel tired and so completely overwhelmed. Hi, I'm Tanya and an autism mom. This journey is not an easy one.
 
It's been demanding and confusing, but it's also been massively life-changing in a great way and has brought me more joy and more laughs than I could ever imagine. You shouldn't walk alone. And that's why I felt called to create this community. Here, you'll laugh. Find joy. Hear inspiring stories along with support and some tough love to begin your journey back to you again.
 
You have permission to take care of yourself, to go after your dreams and to be happy and fulfilled every day, even on those tough ones. So let's do this journey together, gracefully, boldly, and courageously.
 
Transcription:
All right. So let's get started. I have lots to tell you. So what I have been up to in the last almost six months is that I officially went back to work. And, you know, I have always been working to some capacity, but I'm talking about going back to finance, which is what I did prior to going on maternity leave with my son, who was my first child.
 
 After returning from maternity leave to that old position and company trying to juggle motherhood and just he from day one just required so much that it felt impossible to do a great job at work and to be the employee that my previous employer was used to. Just that woman that would stay till work was done, I would put in extra hours and often would go above and beyond.
But obviously that changed when I became a mom. I am still doing the work that needed to get done, but those days of going above and beyond, I will admit they were gone because I had someone else that took priority. I, I was a mom now where  before my career, that was really all I had to focus on. I mean, obviously I was a wife as well, but my husband, you know, he can take care of himself.
 
Well, I can, most days I'm kidding. No kind of I'm joking kind of, but anyways, so becoming a mom, it was just a really big shift and it came to a point with my son where, when we tried to do the daycare, I would say he was about 16 months, that's when I really started to realize that something, you know, was just not right.
 
 It was like a month after dropping him off and I thought it would get easier, but it never did. So daycare was just not an option. He would just scream from beginning to the end of the day.  The daycare providers at the center,  they were great, but my heart would break every single time. And they would say, oh, just give it more time. But I knew that there was something else going on. So my husband and I basically were like, you know, passed the baton, just he would work the late night shift and I would work in early morning and leave around 2:30 , 3:00 come home. Literally, he would just pass my son to me and he'd go off.
 
And that is how we operated for the first two years of my son's life. Well, almost two years, because I know that I made the tough decision to leave my job and my career at about, I