156 episodes

Let's Parent on Purpose is a weekly podcast designed to strengthen your marriage, parenting, and personal relationship with Jesus. Host Jay Holland provides examples from God's word, real life success and failure stories, and lots of humility from his 20+ years of student ministry, parenting, foster parenting, and counseling others. Each episode you'll receive an insight or interview that will help thrive, not just survive your parenting years.

Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Parenting, Marriage, and Family Talk Jay Holland

    • Parenting

Let's Parent on Purpose is a weekly podcast designed to strengthen your marriage, parenting, and personal relationship with Jesus. Host Jay Holland provides examples from God's word, real life success and failure stories, and lots of humility from his 20+ years of student ministry, parenting, foster parenting, and counseling others. Each episode you'll receive an insight or interview that will help thrive, not just survive your parenting years.

    157 How to Disciple Your Children

    157 How to Disciple Your Children

    The concept of discipling our children can sound very intimidating. There’s no end to the volumes of books and programs that have been created to help us make disciples. But sometimes all the books and programs bring confusion rather than clarity.

    As I think through the discipleship of my own children, I begin to think of how Jesus made disciples. My brainstorm quickly grew to a list of 25 ways that Jesus made disciples. Ironically, the larger the list grew, the more encouraged I was. I want to share it with you, because it will help you realize that



    * You are in a better position to disciple your children than anyone else in the world.

    * You’re already doing most of the things Jesus did to make disciples.



    If you’re interested in support Let’s Parent On Purpose as it reaches moms and dads around the world, consider joining our Patreon Support Community

    If you’d like help with changing the conversations in your household, text the word THINGS to 66866 to get a copy of my Fun Family Conversations Ebook!

    As promised on this podcast episode, here’s my list of 25 ways that Jesus made disciples:

    How did Jesus disciple people?





    Spend a lot of time with them over several years





    Slept in the same places where they sleep





    Ate with them





    Let them see His personal walk with God





    Went to celebrations with them





    Went on walks with them





    Told them stories





    Worked and played together





    Encouraged them when they did well





    Confronted them when they were going the wrong way





    Showed patience with them when they just weren’t strong enough





    Showed weakness in front of them and let them help him





    Asked them a lot of questions





    Gave them tasks that were beyond anything they had done to that point





    Went to religious meetings with them





    Read scripture with them and discussed its meaning





    Served other people with them





    Talked about the things of God in informal times





    Showed them how to do things





    Let them do things that He was better at than them





    Showed his full range of emotions around them





    Prayed for and with them





    Laid down His life for them





    Preached the gospel to them





    Empowered them to carry the word and work of God into the world





    Look at that list. You’re already doing many of these! And it wouldn’t take much effort to add some of the others. Discipleship is Life on Life. Keep on discipling your children, and take joy in the journey!

    • 32 min
    156 Single Parenting with Grit and Grace

    156 Single Parenting with Grit and Grace

    Raising a child as a single parent has to be one of the most difficult things you can do on this earth. Whether you’re a single parent right now or whether you’re in a  married relationship, I encourage you to listen to this podcast because you’re going to be encouraged, you’re going to be challenged and convicted as I talk with my friend Marissa Morris on the challenges and joys of single parenting.  If you’d like, you can read Marissa’s testimony HERE.

    If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

    Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

    Show Highlights

    Bringing up your children with a partner is difficult enough, but single parenting poses unique challenges that can be overcome with a little help from your community.

    Single mom Marissa Morris shares that, as she raises her son, she is acutely aware that the relationship between a husband and wife which is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and the Church is missing in her home. Still, she trusts that the Lord will equip her to fill in the gaps for her son and that He will provide godly men in her child’s life that will mentor him and show him what it means to be a godly man living with integrity and grace.

    As a single parent, you have to do everything – caring for your child, household duties, work. But, Marissa says it is vital to spend time with the Lord no matter how busy she is in a day. “I can’t be a parent that the Lord called me to be unless I’m actually spending time with the Lord.”

    Carve out time to fill your well up spending personal time with the Lord and make sure your children see that you are doing it. It’s not just something you do when you’re alone or your children are asleep. Our children need to see that the most important relationship we have is with the Lord.

    As a single parent, community is important. In Marissa’s experience, it helps to be actively involved in her faith community. They were the ones who walked her through good times and bad – from struggling with forgiveness and grace after giving birth, to being a huge support with advice as she raises her child.

    Involving yourself in classes and group activities might mean an investment of time and resources, but the future dividends will be far beyond what you spend for it. Being involved in a strong church community gives you the mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters that your child needs.

    Being a single parent doesn’t mean you have to raise your children alone. More than ever you need the family of God supporting you and your children.



    Resources Mentioned

    • 25 min
    155 Filling Your Day With What's Most Important

    155 Filling Your Day With What's Most Important

    This year I’m incorporating a new strategy to help bring accountability and focus to my days. I’m want to share it with you because if you’re like me, there are plenty of things in each of your days that are out of your control and I want to help you define a specific set of actions that you can control that can bring stability, focus, and perspective to your days.

    To save you some scrolling, if you’re looking for My Wife Emily’s Habit Tracker just click the link.

    If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

    I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it!

    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

    Show Highlights

    At the beginning of each year, we love making resolutions and plans. I’m a heavy planner myself, but, as time goes by, I’ve realized that most of my plans don’t come true, largely due to the many things that happen that are out of our control.

    However, there are several things that ARE in your control. There are small but significant things that if you put yourself towards them, you can say you gave it your best.

    When I do everything in my control, I can say to myself at the end of the day: “I cannot control the outcomes, but as far as inputs go, I feel like I honored the Lord with how I did my day.”

    Take some time to reflect on the little things that you can do each day. What are the key things that you want to include in your day that at the end of the day you can say it was a good day, you gave it your best, you did the right things.

    Start incorporating these things into your daily routine by trying habit stacking. Take note of things that are automatic to you: eating at the same time; taking the same route to work; your morning routine. Then, add a new habit that you want to develop to your routine, creating a chain reaction of habits.

    For example, I’ve been able to establish the routine of waking up early everyday. I can then stack it with my prayer time. I drink coffee early in the morning everyday. I can stack reading the Word for the day on to that.

    Habit stacking eliminates the effort of developing new habits separately. One habit dominoes into the other.

    Keep up new habits by doing habit tracking. List down the habits you want to form and check off each time you’re able to fulfill them.

    These principles and strategies can help shape your days in a way that ultimately shapes your character and your destiny.

    Remember, when you sow a thought, you begin an action and when you sow an action, you start to begin developing a habit. When you sow a habit, you reap character in the long run.

    You really have the opportunity to set yourself up for a year of thriving.



    Resources Mentioned

    • 28 min
    154 This Year: Do Less, Better

    154 This Year: Do Less, Better

    Today I’ve got five questions to share with you as you go into this new year that might help you to do less, but to do it better.

    If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

    I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it!

    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

    Show Highlights

    My New Year’s resolution is: I want to do less than I did last year and the year before that.

    Think of it like pruning a tree or, in the case of John 15, a vine. Jesus says that he’s the vine and every branch that bears fruit must be pruned so it can bear more fruit. In the context of your life, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and not add more new things to divide your attention with. Try to focus on doing the more important and fruitful things better.

    Productivity isn’t always the same as fruitfulness. Sure, you can get a bunch of things done, but sometimes those things aren’t beneficial to you when you consider the bigger picture. If you just try to get everything done, you could easily burn yourself into exhaustion and in the process maybe become bitter or edgy in your relationships and in your outlook on life.

    In Luke 10, we hear the story of Mary and Martha. They welcomed Jesus into their house and while he was there, Mary decided to sit at his feet and listen to his teachings. Martha was distracted by chores and work she thought she had to do to serve Jesus as a guest. When she asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her, the Lord answered: “Martha, you are anxious and troubled about so many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

    As we approach 2020, here are five clarifying questions that can help you take a critical look at what you’re doing in your life, and what you might be able to do less:



    What’s one activity I find myself doing that does not add true value to myself or anyone else?

    What’s something that I do primarily motivated by guilt or fear of what someone else will think?

    What’s something I spend money on that does not truly enhance my life in the least?

    If I was paying someone $100 an hour to coach me, what’s one thing that they would tell me to stop doing?

    What’s the one thing I can do that by doing it, many other things become easier or unnecessary?



    My “one thing” in my personal life is what I call my “margin in the morning.” It’s that couple of hours in the early morning when I have no distractions from work calls and emails, from my kids, or anything else. I use this time to pray, to walk, to exercise, and to read the Bible. When I am able to do this, I find that I can engage people in a completely different way.

    In my work life, my one thing is to create. Whether it’s creating sermons, lessons, or content, if I am able to eliminate distractions and just concentrate on th...

    • 23 min
    153 Seasons of Life

    153 Seasons of Life

    If you have any hope of parenting your family over the very long run, then you have to understand and live by some helpful rules for recovery.

    If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

    I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it!

    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

    Show Highlights

    I am currently writing a book! Its working title is Parenting is a Marathon, Not a Sprint. The chapter I want to share with you today is Seasons of Life from the section Rules for Recovery.

    I’ve trained for and joined several marathons and one of the major things I’ve learned from them is that the rarity is when things go smoothly. Mishaps happen along the trail no matter how hard you train or how well you prepare.

    In the same way,  we live in a sinful, broken world. You should expect injury, exhaustion, and depletion. BUT, you don’t have to live injured, exhausted, and depleted.

    A wise runner adapts their training and competitive schedule to their environment and a wise parent also needs to recognize the Seasons of Life.

    The Seasons of Life include:

     



    Child development seasons. Growing years can be full of wonder as your child begins to explore friendships, hobbies, and interests. Through the years, they will hit milestones in the development of their mind, body, and spirit. Their levels of competence and independence will change too. You’ll find yourself in different roles as caregiver, coach, and adviser as they journey towards adulthood. You have to adjust to their needs depending on what stage they are at. You might be experiencing several seasons at once if you have multiple kids.

    *

    Transition season. We sometimes experience a season of change in our family life, whether it’s moving to a different place, switching schools, welcoming a new member into the family. Change takes time to get used to and can sometimes be intimidating. Help each other through this season.



    *

    Grieving season. Whether it’s a death in the family, a painful end of friendship, or a moral failure, grief can overcome a family. If you find your family in a grieving season, slow down. Give time and space for the grieving and don’t push to get past this immediately. Acknowledge the hurt and the brokenness, but also the hope that you have in Christ. Give it time.



    *

    Busy seasons. Sometimes you find yourself with more to do than you can possibly get done. But, watch out. If you cannot see an endpoint where things will decompress, it isn’t just a season. It could be a dangerously unhealthy lifestyle. Stop and make some changes. Stop trying to be superhuman.



    *

    Special needs seasons. Taking care of a family member that’s sick or has special needs means your family is going through a difficult but ultimately stren...

    • 22 min
    152 Nir Eyal: Raising Indistractable Children

    152 Nir Eyal: Raising Indistractable Children

    In today’s world, parents and children alike seemed to be fighting an endless battle with distraction. It seems like every month a new technology comes out that shortens our attention span. But what if the technology isn’t to blame? What if the real issue isn’t our phones, it’s us? My guest today Nir Eyal, author of the book Indistractable, is going to coach us on understanding the tendencies that we have for distraction, and help us with a roadmap for Raising Indistractable Children.

    If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

    Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

    Show Highlights

    With evolving technology like virtual and augmented reality and artificial intelligence, the future is becoming more and more distracting for our kids. In fact, Nir Eyal says, becoming indistractable is the skill of the century.

    Being indistractable – being able to take control of your attention, your time, and your life as opposed to other people controlling it for you – is really valuable for people of all ages, not just children. Becoming indistractable yourself is a step to helping your child master the skill as well.

    One major cause of distraction is seeking an escape from something we don’t want to feel. Whether it’s stress, anxiety, fatigue, we impulsively turn to distractions to take our mind off these uncomfortable feelings. The first step we have to take is to understand how to master those internal triggers.

    When it come to kids, the problem is, parents have no idea what their kids are escaping from when they overuse the number one distraction – technology. Parents often blame external factors, anything that is not us. The risk is, we don’t get to the root of why our kids turn to distractions.

    We need to address our children’s need to affirm their competency, confidence, and autonomy. If they aren’t able to feel these offline, they’ll look for these online. Nir says, “If we fail to understand the deeper reason why kids overuse technology, we keep putting bandaids on a gash wound.”

    Help your child by setting parameters and involving them in making the rules. 45 minutes of screen time is not harmful, as long as it is age appropriate content. Working this into your child’s schedule also takes their mind off of it the rest of the day. They know they get to play their video game or watch their show at the right time. If they make the rules with you, they will be less likely to cheat.



    Resources Mentioned



    * Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free.

    * Nir’s book: Indistractable

    * Nir’s book: Hooked

    * Nir’s website: https://www.nirandfar.com/

    • 42 min

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