237 episodes

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard? Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com. Take our free training for men at https://evolutionary.men/dearmen

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women Melanie Curtin

    • Sexuality

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard? Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com. Take our free training for men at https://evolutionary.men/dearmen

    223: Creative monogamy -- how to open up a relationship strategically (ft. Dr. Joli Hamilton)

    223: Creative monogamy -- how to open up a relationship strategically (ft. Dr. Joli Hamilton)

    Ever wondered what it's actually like to open up a relationship -- meaning explore ethical non-monogamy (ENM), also known as polyamory? Whether you're wanting more or different kinds of sex, or just more connection, love, and variety in your relationships, your desires are valid, and being in an open relationship can be healthy and fulfilling.
    But open relationship/polyamory can be a confusing and scary thing to bring up. How do you say, "I want us to stay together and date other people" without triggering your relationship partner? That said, different kinds of relationships can actually be a better fit for many. Maybe even you and your partner?
    If you've ever wanted to know how to responsibly transition a marriage or other long-term relationship from monogamy to more, listen to this. We explore Joli's work guiding couples through the process of opening up, including how to navigate "the flip." No, this isn't a sex position ;) -- it's when the partner who brought up opening up sometimes becomes less enthusiastic later on.
    This can be worked through, of course, as can all the other anxieties or uncertainties associated with the process. And the truth is, a lot of both sexual fulfillment as well as emotional maturity and health can result in the process of opening up.
    A few notable quotes from this episode:
    “If my partner wants more, I must not be enough.”“We expect monogamy to protect us from jealousy.”“If I’m a people-pleaser and you’re a people-pleaser, how come no one is pleased?”“I believe that conscious relationships work.”
    Books mentioned on this episode:
    PolysecureOpen DeeplyOpen MonogamyOpen Relationships by Dr. Liz Powell
    Joli's site: joliquiz.com

    • 1 hr 16 min
    232: Love languages, conflict, connection, and repair

    232: Love languages, conflict, connection, and repair

    Ever been in a relationship where you felt like she was nitpicking at you, like you could never do anything right? Or ever been in a phase where it felt like she was never happy with you, and was sharp and poky or picked fights for seemingly no reason?
    Real talk: When I feel loved and cherished by my man, little things don't bother me as much. But when I question that love or don't feel cherished, then I feel triggered all the time ... and I don't show up as the warmest, most loving version of myself. (Also we tend to have less sex when we're not in a connected phase.)
    This is partly a love language issue. Once we're out of the honeymoon phase during dating, which according to neuroscientists actually lasts close to two years, it can feel like we don't know what went wrong. We used to get along so well; we used to have incredible sex and things felt easy. Now it feels harder.
    Our culture doesn't teach this, but a large part of a healthy, conscious relationship involves learning how to love each other well. We're not born knowing that. And love languages are a critical part of this. Love languages are how we feel loved by our partners. We may know intellectually that they care about us, but those warm and safe, connected feelings don't just stick around.
    Listen to hear about the five different love languages, the different dialects within them, and how to apply these in a practical way to love your partner better and feel more loved yourself.
    Other memorable quotes from this episode:
    "Seafood and me are not friends""First you need the self-awareness around how YOU feel loved""Ultimately we're talking about teaching each other how to love one another well"

    • 1 hr 13 min
    231: Her journey from vanilla marriage to BDSM and kink! (ft. Sara)

    231: Her journey from vanilla marriage to BDSM and kink! (ft. Sara)

    Ever wished you could explore different kinds of sexy things in your relationship? How exactly does one go from missionary position to consensual flogging? Well, let us tell you!
    When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, there's a lot of mystery around kink and BDSM. What "counts" as kinky, and how do you talk to your partner about wanting to explore it? How does one even get started in BDSM? Is it all whips and chains, or how does that work exactly!?
    We go into all this and more as Sara takes us on her own personal experience going from a pretty vanilla marriage to a full-on kinkster and practiced rope bottom (someone who likes to get tied up). She experiences a tremendous amount of freedom in rope bondage — something that may sound like an oxymoron but actually isn't.
    If you've ever wanted to get your freak on or hear an open discussion of exploration and sexual freedom (as well as hear about BDSM for couples), this isn't one to miss. Talking about sexual taboos is all the rage. ;)
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Shibari: Japanese rope bondage 
    FetLife — a popular social media site for those interested in kink and/or BDSM
    Rigger: Someone who does the tying in a rope bondage situation
    Rope bottom: Someone who is tied up in a rope bondage situation

    • 1 hr 20 min
    230: How do I inspire my woman to want more sex with me? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]

    230: How do I inspire my woman to want more sex with me? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]

    A pattern we often hear from the men we work with is that it's really hard for them to approach their partner for sex. This could be a dating partner or someone they're in a long-term committed relationship with. Heck, it could be their wife. If you've ever Googled, "How do I get my wife to have more sex with me?" you're not alone.
    The fear of approaching a partner for sex is real, and it can actually impact the whole relationship. For example, Jason noticed that after a year of being with a partner, it actually got harder for him to approach her for sex, not easier. Why is this? What's going on?
    Here, Jason delves into his own personal experience with trouble initiating sex with partners in the past, and how he resolved it. We also talk about:
    How to keep up your confidence if you've been turned down/felt rejected a few times. It's possible, and we also want to validate your experience of it sucking!The magic sauce you can pour on during the day that'll help a woman want to be sexual with you later that nightHow, when you learn how to initiate sex in a more masterful way, it can actually improve your whole relationship, not just the sex
    As always, if you've got questions or comments you can get me at dearmenpodcast at gmail dot com!

    • 58 min
    229: Men have body image issues, too. (ft. Jason Lange)

    229: Men have body image issues, too. (ft. Jason Lange)

    When we think about body image, shame, and appearance, we often think about women. And for good reason — there's a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way, and it's easy to feel less-than if you're not in your 20s with a flat stomach, a perfect ass, and a great rack.
    But men have all kinds of emotions and self-judgment in this area, too. Ever felt like you're not enough? That you're somehow lacking in terms of your appearance? You're not alone!
    Whether it's feeling fat, not having six-pack abs, having body hair, or not feeling like your skin color is welcome, there are all sorts of feelings men have around appearance — and we wanted to talk about that. Especially since self-love, self-image, and self-esteem are all directly related to a man's experience of sex, dating, and relationships with women (and whoever they're sexual with).
    In this special episode, some of our brave clients also share their own answers to the following:
    Were you ever teased or bullied about your weight or appearance, and how did that impact you? In what ways has your weight or appearance prevented you from going for what you want? If you’ve gone through a body transformation (i.e. losing a bunch of weight or somehow altering your appearance), what was your relationship to your body image like before, and what is it now?
    The neglect episode referenced in this episode:
    196: The “invisible” relationship pattern that can affect everything (ft. Jason Lange)

    • 53 min
    228: Setting the mood for sensuality ... (ft. Amy Anthony)

    228: Setting the mood for sensuality ... (ft. Amy Anthony)

    What does it actually mean to "set the mood"? Yes, candles are fantastic — they give that soft light that makes everybody look great, and there's something to be said for that when it comes to sexy time. But there are lots of other ways to increase and enhance pleasure of all kinds, including scent.
    Aromatherapy is powerful, and here we outline how essential oils can aid in everything from helping you to calm down, as well as to develop self-love. Whether you're in a dating phase or a committed relationship, the fact is that how you feel about yourself impacts the connection between the two of you, and aromatherapy can be a powerful way of keeping you connected to nature.
    There are some essential that can even help you boost your prostate health, reduce anger, and assist with nurturing and self-acceptance.
    My favorite quotes from this episode:
    “Plants are for everybody, and flowers are for men, goddamnit.”“We want to enhance receptivity.” 

    • 48 min

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