96 episodes
Battle Royale: French Monarchs Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
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- Education
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5.0 • 10 Ratings
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Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.
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53 - Francis I (Part 2)
It's time to pass judgement on Francis I, deciding whether or not King Big-Nose deserves the guillotine!
With this monarch, we enter a new age of Protestant rebellions, American colonialism and Hapsburg domination. Did Francis rise to meet these new challenges, or was he just a blustering fool?
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Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.
You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!
Support the Show.
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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
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CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.
Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. -
53 - Francis I (Part 1)
The long-awaited Renaissance king has finally arrived! This episode we go through the big moments his life from birth to death, from his famous meeting with Henry VIII at the Field of Cloth of Gold to his disastrous imprisonment in Spain.
Next episode, we will be examining Francis's reign and legacy in further detail, and determining whether or not he will escape the guillotine!
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Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.
You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!
Support the Show.
⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.
Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. -
52.5 - Louise of Savoy
From unwanted daughter to first lady of France, this episode we chart the gradual rise of Louise of Savoy - the mother, mentor and "great regent" of King Francis I.
We'll see how she measures up to other French rulers of her time, and see whether she gets to sit in the VIP Box with our other impressive matriarchs.
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Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.
You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!
Support the Show.
⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.
Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. -
52 - Louis XII (Part 2)
Now that we've done his life, let's pass judgement on Louis XII, AKA the Porcupine! Does he deserve a place among the great kings of French history, or is he just another snack for the guillotine?
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Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.
You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!
Support the Show.
⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.
Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. -
52 - Louis XII (Part 1)
After a life spent in second place to his royal cousins, how will the Duke of Orléans fare with his new promotion to King of France?
Stay tuned for Part 2, where we discuss Louis's legacy and rate him, with special appearances from porcupines, vipers and bees (oh my!).
⚜️
Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.
You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!
Support the Show.
⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.
Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. -
51.5 - Anne of Brittany (Part 2)
In Part 2, we learn of Anne's second marriage and her ultimate fate!
Does she deserve the score she got? Were the unicorn tapestries inspired by her? Was she the Taylor Swift of her time? Flock to our social media and let us know!
Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.
You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!
Support the Show.
⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.
Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.
Customer Reviews
So interesting!
I have found learning about the early French kings and other historical figures of their times so interesting. Ben is always so informative and engaging, while Eliza adds a fresh and relaxed quality to the presentation that makes every episode feel like they’re in your living room or riding in the car with you, having a super-interesting chat. Which they kind of are…
Good
Good
Great podcast
Enjoyable podcast ranking all the Kings and Emperors of France à la Rex Factor. The hosts are engaging and even though I’m looking forward to getting into more familiar territory, these early rulers, consorts and mayors of the palace are still really interesting. Thanks so much Ben and Eliza!