Rick Thomas | Life Over Coffee Rick Thomas

We are one body (Hebrews 13:3). When I sin—no matter what it is—my wife has a responsibility for that sin. She would never say, "That's Rick's problem. That's his sin." No, it's our sin. She is not guilty of my sin, and she does not repent of my sin, but she has a role to play because she is me, and I am here—we are one. When I sin, she runs to my aid by calling me out or caring for me. She becomes my discipler—my mentor.

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What is the most important quality you would like to have in your life? Of all the qualities to choose from, there is one transcending quality that must be at the top of your list. That one transcending quality is God's glory. If your desire to glorify God is the chief aim of your life, there is a fantastic chance you will experience a meaningful and satisfying life and marriage, even should your spouse not meet some of your expectations. There is nothing that transcends this God-centered quality in His image bearers.

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One of the more common complaints I hear from spouses is when one of the partners in the marriage talks about being alone in the marriage. These lonely spouses perceive a seemingly invisible barrier between each other. It's a communication barrier they cannot change because the deepest and most intimate component of marriage communication is uniquely spiritual. While couples can relate in many ways, there is one way that is non-negotiable if you intend to engage each other like Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:25-33). That spiritual component is an intimate three-person dynamic between the husband, wife, and God. I'm not necessarily talking about praying together, going to church, reading the Bible, or other churchy things—all vital aspects of a sound marriage. I'm speaking of in-depth and comprehensive spiritual communication.

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The sex talk begins in a child's toddler years as they learn about sexuality, intimacy, and relationships through the attitudes, words, and interactions of their parents. Sex is a shame-laced subject because of our mutual fallenness. One talk just before they head off to high school is not enough to help them think right about gender, identity, and sexuality. Even our worldly counterparts—though they give the appearance of no sex shame and have all the answers—are not free from sexual entanglements.

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One of the most exciting and bittersweet times in a parent’s life is walking their child through the sex talk. It’s the season that leads them into adulthood. It’s the secret handshake that lets them know that the curtain of childhood is dropping and a brave new world is in front of them. It’s exciting because you are the one leading her. It’s bittersweet because your little kid is growing up.

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The sex talk is a transitional time in a child’s life, but long before you have the talk, your child will have a worldview and practice in place that will form the backdrop for how he will process what you’re telling him during the sex talk. His home environment forms that worldview and develops his relational habits long before he learns about the most intimate aspects of male and female relationships.

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