The Covert Narcissism Podcast Renee Swanson

I was so excited for the day that my husband was to move out of our home. I just knew how happy I would be. You could not erase the smile off my face as he was loading his last load. Finally!! This day was here. He would no longer be in my home. My home!! That sounded so amazing. He drove off with his last things. I just knew I would be dancing in the street.But I wasn’t. I was overwhelmed with emotions I didn’t expect. I dropped on my bed and sobbed. I cried for many days. Why? This isn’t what I expected. My heart was heavy. My stomach was a wreck. My mind was numb. My emotions were all over the place. My body simply did not want to function.But I thought I would be rejoicing. I had been looking forward to this day for so long. Why am I not happy? Why am I not relieved and peaceful? Is something wrong with me? Did I make a wrong choice? Was I happier in the relationship? Should I call him back? Is something wrong with me?I’m Renee Swanson, your host of the Covert Narcissism Podcast. Today we are talking about the shock your system goes through when the relationship finally ends. These mixed-up emotions can cause great confusion, leading many victims to break no contact and jump back into the relationship. Learning about them, identifying them, and building skills to handle them is vital to your journey of healing!!
 I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
•Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
•Are you searching for people who get it? 
•Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
•Are you running in circles in your mind?
•Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
•Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Narcissistic people need two dominant things: supply and scapegoats. They need someone who cares for their every need and want. This supply feeds their ego, boosting them up, laughing at all of their jokes, hanging on every word they say, and giving them all of their attention. In addition, they need scapegoats. Nothing is ever their fault, so they need somewhere for their blame to go, all the time. Everything that has ever gone wrong in their life is to be blamed on someone or something else.
 
Covert narcissistic individuals zero in on one person. They become laser focused on YOU. What you are thinking, what you are doing, who you are with, and what you are saying. They have picked you out as the target of their attention and thus your whole world must now center around them. They don’t want the attention of everyone in the room, but they certainly want ALL of your attention.
In the same way, covert narcissists don’t need to blame the whole world for their problems. They have you. You become their sole scapegoat. Everything, and I mean everything, is 100% your fault. Not partly your fault, but rather completely your fault. As you naturally pull back from this painful situation, it is only a matter of time before you are no longer their supply, but you are firmly their scapegoat.
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast
 

 

I get asked frequently, how do I heal from this? How do you ever get over it? How do you move forward? Will I ever trust again? Can I have a healthy relationship?
These are excellent questions and they go through the minds of many victims of covert narcissistic abuse. The journey is tortuously painful and can seem completely unending. It feels like it will simply last forever. Not only is there no end in sight, there isn’t even a simple path going forward.
If I do this, if I do that, if I go this way, if I go that way. Nothing feels right. Nothing will work. The despair inside the victim of covert narcissism is real! It is deep, overwhelming and suffocating.The day that your eyes first see this abuse was life-changing. That moment of realization that reality is not what you thought. That maybe, just maybe, this isn’t actually your fault. That first hint of realization. This is commonly followed quickly by glimpses of the realization that you also cannot fix this. These glimpses come in and out of awareness in the beginning stages of recognition.
But once you start seeing it, you can’t unsee it. Once you start knowing it, you can’t unknow it. But now what do you do? How do you move forward when you feel frozen in fear and uncertainty?
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

"I don't know myself anymore. I don't recognize me. Who am I? I didn't used to be this way. What happened?" Are you asking these questions? Have you become someone that you don't recognize anymore? You are certainly not alone! 
 
The behaviors of covert narcissism are destructive, manipulative, antagonistic, harmful, coercive, abusive, and emotionally violent. These behaviors leave deep wounds in the victims. This changes you, their target, in two dominant ways. The first is that these wounds cause strong protective behaviors in you. This is a very normal human response to an abnormal situation. 
 
The second is that you begin to mirror the very behaviors that you are protecting yourself from. It is not uncommon at all for victims of covert narcissistic abuse to mirror their abusers with the same defensiveness that they are fighting against, and to then be called the narcissist by their abuser. I will be addressing both of these types of responses to abusive behavior in this episode.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


 #covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #podcast

Today’s guest is Vanessa Reiser, a narcissistic abuse expert. Vanessa is a mother, author, entrepreneur, 2X Ironman and ground-breaking licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), specializing in narcissistic and cult abuse. She is also the founder of Tell a Therapist, LLC and is best known for her run across the state of New York (285 miles in 11 days) in a wedding dress to raise awareness for narcissistic abuse.  She also subsequently ran across NJ, CT & MA.  Her insights are both personal and professional, giving her a unique lens into this insidious form of domestic abuse.
 
You can find her at:
Instagram:  @vanessareiserlcsw 
Website:  tellatherapist.net
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Bullying is not a kid’s problem. Someone recently said to me that it is. They said that we deal with bullies in our childhood. Teen years, there may be a few bullies here and there, but not really. By adulthood, we are past all that kid stuff. That got me thinking. Really? Are we really past all the bullying behavior in adulthood?
 
So I looked up the definition of bullying. Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. I stopped reading right there and thought, that is exactly what covert narcissism is. This is bullying! The definition goes on, "One essential prerequisite is the perception of an imbalance of physical or social power. This imbalance distinguishes bullying from conflict." 
 
So I started my research. Is narcissistic behavior within the home, between adults, a form of bullying?
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
 #covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #podcast