How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships TruStory FM

Communicating with a New Partner After Divorce
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete explore how to effectively communicate with new partners after divorce. They're joined by Dr. Etel Leit, a human communication researcher, prominent figure in psychology and education, and founder of Sign Shine, a family center in Beverly Hills. The conversation focuses on breaking old patterns and learning to relate to new partners, especially when communication issues contributed to the end of a marriage.
Seth, Pete, and Dr. Leit dive into the importance of self-reflection and awareness before entering a new relationship. They discuss the fantasy of a perfect future partner and the need to address what went wrong in the previous marriage first. Dr. Leit introduces her concept of the "3 Vs" crucial for a successful relationship: Vibe, Values, and Vision. She explains each in detail, offering valuable insights into how these elements contribute to a strong partnership. Additionally, Dr. Leit shares the "3 As" essential for effective communication: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I avoid repeating negative patterns in a new relationship?What are the key factors for a strong, lasting partnership?How do I know if I'm ready to date again after divorce?Key Takeaways:
Self-reflection and awareness are essential before entering a new relationshipShared values and vision are crucial for a successful partnershipEffective communication, built on awareness, acceptance, and action, is vitalThis episode is packed with practical advice and thought-provoking ideas to help you navigate the world of dating and relationships post-divorce. Whether you're considering a new partnership or already in one, Seth, Pete, and Dr. Leit's insights will give you the tools to build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Links & Notes
Find Dr. Leit on the web here or here, Instagram, or LinkedInSee Dr. Leit’s books onBarnes & Noble or AmazonSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:07) - Meet Dr. Etel Leit
(03:31) - Old Patterns of Communication
(05:52) - Clean Your Water
(06:49) - Shifting Mindset Post-Divorce
(11:22) - Three Vs: Vibe, Values, Vision
(22:45) - Choosing the Same Type
(24:40) - New Relationships
(31:41) - Three As: Awareness, Acceptance, Action
(38:12) - Finding Dr. Leit
(40:27) - Listener Question

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Parenting Across Dimensions with Tim McCarthy
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete explore the topic of parenting and how to be a better parent before, during, and after divorce. They are joined by special guest Tim McCarthy, educator, writer, and grand master in the martial arts. Tim's unique perspective on integrating Eastern philosophy into Western approaches to parenting provides a fresh take on the parent-child relationship.
Seth, Pete, and Tim dive deep into the concept of four-dimensional thinking and how it applies to parenting. They discuss the importance of being present as a parent and engaging with your children across the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. The conversation touches on practical ways to connect with your kids, from shared physical activities to fostering curiosity and problem-solving skills.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I be a better parent during and after divorce?What are some practical ways to connect with my kids?How do I help my children process the emotions of divorce?Key Takeaways:
Being present is the most important thing you can do as a parentEngage with your children across physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensionsFoster curiosity and problem-solving skills in your kidsSeth and Pete also explore the emotional challenges children face during divorce and how parents can support them. They discuss the importance of not leaning on children emotionally and maintaining positive co-parenting communication.
This episode is packed with insights and practical tips for parents navigating the challenges of divorce. Whether you're currently going through a divorce or simply looking to strengthen your relationship with your children, this conversation with Tim McCarthy offers valuable wisdom and actionable strategies.
Links & Notes
Find Tim on his site!Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:07) - Meet Tim McCarthy
(03:28) - Parenting Across 4 Dimensions
(06:59) - Divorce at the Expense of the Kids
(08:56) - Physical Dimension
(13:18) - Mental Dimension
(17:02) - Emotional Dimension
(20:46) - Spiritual Dimension
(22:06) - Ages and Manipulation
(24:48) - Communication
(26:13) - Teaching Kids to Care
(28:05) - Returning to Spiritual
(32:07) - Compartmentalizing to Find Your Blind Spots
(33:53) - Finding Tim
(34:40) - Listener Question

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Reuniting with Your Alienated Child
In this powerful episode, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deep into the heart-wrenching topic of parental alienation with guest Ginger Gentile, an activist on a mission to reverse this silent epidemic. Ginger shares her personal journey as a child caught in the middle of a bitter divorce and how it led her to create the eye-opening documentary "Erasing Family". Seth and Pete explore the complexities of parental alienation, its devastating impact on families, and strategies for reunification.
Ginger provides valuable insights into the manipulation tactics used in parental alienation, the challenges faced by alienated parents, and the long-term effects on children's mental health. The conversation highlights the importance of perseverance, unconditional love, and seeking the right support when navigating this difficult situation.
Questions we answer in this episode:
What is parental alienation and how does it manifest?How can alienated parents effectively respond and maintain connection with their children?What are the long-term impacts of parental alienation on children's mental health and relationships?Key Takeaways:
Parental alienation is a form of emotional abuse that can have lasting effects on children.Alienated parents must prioritize self-care and seek support to effectively navigate the challenges.Consistent, unconditional love and perseverance are crucial for reunification with alienated children.Whether you are personally affected by parental alienation or simply want to better understand this complex issue, this episode offers valuable insights, strategies, and hope for families struggling to reconnect. Seth and Pete's compassionate approach, combined with Ginger's expertise and powerful storytelling, make this a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of divorce and co-parenting.
Plus, we tackle another listener question!
Links & Notes
ReversingParentalAlienation.com ErasingFamily.org Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:06) - Meet Ginger Gentile
(02:57) - Parental Alienation
(03:33) - Her Films and Backstory
(08:53) - Universal Issue
(10:52) - What Is Parental Alienation?
(17:16) - Mental Health Impact
(20:09) - Strategy
(22:50) - Therapy as a Trap
(25:09) - Jurisdictionalization
(26:22) - Family Court vs. Criminal Court
(28:24) - Nebulous Custody Agreements
(29:45) - Training
(30:45) - How Do I Exert Control?
(32:14) - When Kids Play the Divisions
(33:36) - Alienating Teens
(35:44) - You Don’t Realize It’s Happening
(39:11) - Applying the Strategy, Taking Away the Stimulus
(41:12) - Finding Ginger
(43:08) - Listener Question

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Content warning: This episode discusses domestic abuse, murder-suicide, and child loss.
In this deeply moving episode, Seth and Pete welcome a special guest, Ali Kessler, to share her story and discuss the groundbreaking Greyson's Law. This episode was requested by a listener who wanted to hear directly from Ali about her experiences and advocacy.
Ali's four-year-old son, Greyson, was tragically killed by his father in a murder-suicide just days after Ali sought help from the courts and police due to disturbing threats made by Greyson's father. Ali has turned her grief into powerful advocacy, working tirelessly to pass Greyson's Law in Florida to better protect children at risk of harm in divorce and custody cases.
Seth, Pete, and Ali dive into the details of Greyson's Law, discussing how it aims to address the gap between the realities of domestic abuse and the family court system. They cover the challenges Ali faced in trying to protect Greyson prior to his death, and how the new law empowers judges to better consider threats and abuse directed at a parent when making custody decisions.
The conversation also delves into the complexities around identifying abuse, especially coercive control, which leaves no physical scars. Ali shares her hopes for expanded training for judges, lawyers, and law enforcement to improve understanding of domestic violence and how it impacts at-risk children.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How does Greyson's Law aim to better protect children in family court cases?What challenges do abuse survivors face in the court system?How can coercive control be identified if it leaves no physical signs?Key Takeaways:
Greyson's Law requires Florida courts to consider threats against a parent when making custody decisions if there is reason to believe the child is also at risk.Survivors of abuse often struggle to be heard and believed in family court.Expanded training on domestic violence and coercive control is needed for judges, attorneys, and police.While Greyson's Law is specific to Florida, Ali is working with advocates in other states to help change laws and potentially enact protections at the federal level.This episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to understand the real-life impacts of domestic violence in family court and how legal reform, however hard-won, aims to protect the most vulnerable. Though Ali's story is heartbreaking, her courage and tenacity in honoring Greyson's legacy through advocacy is deeply inspiring.
We encourage listeners to visit Ali's website, Greyson’s Choice, to learn more about her organization's vital work and consider donating to support their mission to protect children at risk in divorce and custody cases.
Links & Notes
Visit Greyson’s Choice and donate today!Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:06) - Ali Kessler and Greyson’s Law
(03:30) - Who Was Greyson?
(04:48) - Becoming an Advocate
(06:19) - Getting the Law Off the Ground
(11:06) - Reality vs. the Legal System
(13:13) - Civil Matter, Not a Criminal Matter
(13:52) - Emergency Pickup Orders
(15:30) - Calling DCF
(17:49) - Goal of Greyson’s Law
(19:58) - Managing Grief as a Different Person
(20:48) - Continued Training
(22:06) - Coercive Control
(24:22) - Judges
(25:03) - Custody Rights
(25:35) - Effectiveness
(26:12) - Informing Judges
(27:09) - Making People Aware
(27:55) - Greyson’s Choice
(29:50) - Wrap Up

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In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the world of prenuptial agreements with legendary Florida attorney Charles Jamison. They explore how prenups can help keep your divorce amicable and costs down. Charles shares his expertise on crafting the "unbreakable prenup" and provides valuable insights into navigating this complex legal territory.
Seth, Pete, and Charles discuss the essential components of a well-drafted prenup, including proper signing procedures, full financial disclosure, and fair negotiation. They emphasize how a carefully constructed agreement can protect both parties and minimize conflicts during a divorce. The conversation also touches on postnuptial agreements and how they can help alleviate financial stressors in a marriage.
Questions we answer in this episode:• What makes a prenup "unbreakable"?• How can a prenup help keep divorce costs down?• When should you consider a postnuptial agreement?
Key Takeaways:• Ensure your prenup is properly signed and witnessed• Provide full financial disclosure to protect both parties• Negotiate fairly to create a more unassailable agreement
Throughout the episode, Seth and Charles offer practical advice and relatable examples to help listeners understand the importance of prenups in modern marriages. Whether you're considering a prenup or facing a divorce, this episode provides valuable information to help you navigate the process with greater clarity and confidence.
Links & Notes
Charles on the WebCharles on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and FacebookSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Meet Charles Jamieson
(01:14) - Pre-Nuptial Agreements
(02:36) - The UPAA
(05:13) - Dos and Don’ts
(09:41) - Bifurcating the Trial
(10:56) - Coercion or Duress
(13:35) - Full Disclosure
(19:47) - Protecting Yourself
(20:49) - Post-Nups
(22:44) - Has It Changed Over Time?
(23:50) - Difficult Negotiation
(25:56) - Valuing
(29:32) - Alimony
(33:37) - Minimum $ Before Needing One?
(35:54) - Finding Charles
(36:26) - Wrap Up

In this listener question episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright tackle some of the most pressing issues faced by those navigating the complexities of divorce. From the potential pitfalls of divorce coaching to the challenges of running a business with your ex-spouse, Seth and Pete provide insightful guidance and practical advice to help you navigate your unique situation.
Throughout the episode, Seth and Pete delve into a wide range of topics, discussing the importance of seeking mental health support during a high-conflict divorce, the nuances of maintaining a business partnership with an ex-spouse, and the factors that can influence custody arrangements. By addressing these key themes, Seth and Pete aim to equip listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to make informed decisions and protect their interests during the divorce process.
Listener Questions we answer in this episode:
Is divorce coaching a good idea in a high-conflict case?How can couples separate their marriage but keep their business together?Can the age of a child alone justify changes in custody arrangements?What can you do if your ex refuses to accept a fair settlement offer?What are some less obvious things to include in a parenting plan?Key Takeaways:
In a high-conflict divorce, it's best to avoid divorce coaching and opt for confidential mental health counseling instead.When maintaining a business with an ex-spouse, a solid partnership agreement and transparency are essential.Age of the child alone is not typically considered a substantial change in circumstances warranting custody modifications.Whether you're considering divorce coaching, grappling with the challenges of running a business with your ex, or concerned about the impact of your child's age on custody arrangements, this episode of How to Split a Toaster offers a wealth of valuable insights. By tuning in, you'll gain a deeper understanding of the legal and emotional landscape of divorce, empowering you to make the best decisions for yourself and your family during this challenging time.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:27) - Listener Questions!
(01:08) - Question One: Divorce Coaching?
(05:14) - Question Two: Separating Marriage, Not the Business
(11:05) - Question Three: Child’s Age a Substantial Change for Child Custody?
(12:57) - Question Four: Weaponizing Emergency Motions
(18:00) - Question Five: Asset Division
(23:26) - Question Six: Parenting Plan Parts
(30:00) - Wrap Up