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há 1 dia

From Case-by-Case to Conflict-Smart: High Conflict at Work, Part 4 of 4

High conflict behavior at work rarely stays contained to one person or one incident — it spreads across teams, drains HR's time, and quietly drives turnover and burnout long before anyone names it as a pattern. The real question for most organizations isn't how to handle the next individual case. It's whether the organization itself is actually ready to prevent, assess, and respond to conflict at all. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, close out this four-part workplace series — and the show's current season — with returning High Conflict Institute trainer Michael Lomax, JD. Together, they walk through the policies, training, and leadership role modeling it takes to move from case-by-case conflict response to a truly conflict-ready, conflict-smart, or even conflict-proof culture, including the real financial cost of leaving conflict unaddressed. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. A new season starts in two weeks. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:02) - Becoming Conflict-Proof (03:14) - Becoming an Organizational Problem (12:38) - Developing New Practices (17:29) - Role Modeling (20:34) - Training (25:05) - Helping Organizations (26:19) - Is It Possible? (31:32) - Wrap Up

há 1 dia

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34 min
25 de jun.

From Reacting to Responding: High Conflict at Work, Part 3 of 4

High conflict behavior doesn't just disrupt your team—it follows leaders home, costs organizations hundreds of thousands of dollars, and gets worse when managers react without a plan. The question Part 3 of this four-part workplace series answers is the one every leader eventually faces: once you know conflict is in the room, what do you actually do? Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, are joined again by Michael Lomax, JD, lawyer, mediator, and HCI speaker and trainer. Together they walk through the BIFF response for hostile emails and verbal exchanges, EAR statements for de-escalating in the moment, the CARS method—Connect, Analyze, Respond, Set Limits—for structuring any high conflict conversation, and New Ways for Work® coaching as a measurable alternative to suspension. Whether you're managing a difficult employee, caught between HR and your team, or working under a difficult boss, these are the tools that shift the dynamic without making things worse. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:02) - Why Smart People Get Drawn Into These Conflicts (08:00) - BIFF Method (12:46) - Other Ways It’s Applied (17:20) - CARS Method (25:50) - What If It's the Boss? (29:11) - Solutions and Methods of Application (39:37) - Wrap Up

25 de jun.

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41 min
18 de jun.

What HR Keeps Missing: High Conflict at Work, Part 2 of 4

High conflict at work rarely announces itself. By the time it becomes a formal HR complaint or a leadership crisis, the patterns were visible much earlier—and the tools most organizations rely on to stay fair often make things worse, not better. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, are joined by Michael Lomax, JD, HCI speaker, trainer, and attorney, for Part 2 of a four-part workplace series. They break down the WEB method for early conflict assessment—Words, Emotions, Behavior—and explain why HR's focus on neutrality and incident-by-incident handling can inadvertently protect the person driving the conflict while penalizing the target. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:48) - Assessing Workplace Conflict Early and Accurately (04:53) - Potential Costs of Getting It Wrong (09:13) - Patterns of Behavior (18:56) - Documenting Impact (20:38) - Personality Disorders (21:57) - Reactivity Drives Response (25:29) - Managing Difficult HCPs (31:02) - What to Assess First (35:30) - Wrap Up

18 de jun.

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38 min
07/11/2024

Histrionics Unveiled: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 6)

The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Series: Histrionic High Conflict Personalities In this installment of "The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Megan and Bill explore the world of histrionic high conflict personalities. They discuss the key characteristics of histrionics, including exaggerated emotions, a constant need for attention, and a tendency to misjudge relationships. Surprisingly, despite cultural stereotypes, research shows histrionic personality disorder is equally common in men and women. Bill and Megan also delve into how social media and influencer culture can feed histrionic tendencies, while emphasizing that having some traits doesn't necessarily indicate a disorder. Questions we answer in this episode: What defines a histrionic personality?Is histrionic personality disorder more common in men or women?How can you deal with exhausting histrionic behavior?Key Takeaways: Histrionic personalities are characterized by drama and a need for attention.Histrionic personality disorder involves a pattern of blaming others.Setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with histrionic behavior.Whether you have a histrionic person in your life or want to learn more about high conflict personalities, this episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating these challenging dynamics. Links & Other Notes BOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt's All Your Fault!ARTICLESDealing with Drama: Histrionic High Conflict PeopleLiving with High-Conflict People Series: Do’s and Don’ts for living with a Histrionic High-Conflict PersonOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Histrionic (01:30) - What Is Histrionic? (08:33) - Misjudgment of Relationships (11:14) - Drawing Others In (13:16) - In Daily Life (15:34) - Frequency (18:10) - Men and Women (22:27) - Ancient Histrionic Personalities and Influencers (26:52) - Skills to Relieve Exhaustion (29:02) - Negative Advocates (30:17) - Lying and Exaggeration (31:32) - Paul McCartney (34:13) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Paranoid Personalities

07/11/2024

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35 min
21 de mai.

How Validation Calms the Brain: The Science of EAR Statements

When someone in a high conflict situation gets upset, the instinct is to explain, correct, or reason with them — and that almost always makes things worse. The reason isn't a mystery anymore: it's neuroscience. Validation doesn't just make people feel better; it quiets the amygdala's threat response and activates the part of the brain responsible for regulating emotions. An EAR statement — something showing empathy, attention, or respect — is the fastest way to get there. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, connect recent brain research to the EAR statement framework — covering why tone of voice affects the vagus nerve, how to calm yourself before calming someone else, and when EAR statements shouldn't be used at all. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:49) - Validation (02:39) - Psychology Today Article (06:14) - Polyvagal Theory (11:08) - Why Harder for Some? (14:58) - How Do We Validate? (16:33) - Encouraging Statements (19:02) - Invalidation (21:42) - Example (24:00) - We Are in Charge of Ourselves (28:16) - When EAR Statements Won’t Work (32:53) - High Conflict Situations (34:40) - Wrap Up

21 de mai.

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36 min
21 de mai.

Why “I’ll Deal With It Later” Is an Energy Leak with Ari Tuckman

We've all said it. "I'll deal with it later." And somehow, later never comes. The thing just sits there — not in your calendar, but in your head. It pings you in the shower. It shows up right before you fall asleep. That's an energy leak. This week, Ari Tuckman returns for his sixth appearance to unpack what's actually happening when we tell ourselves "later." What is the ADHD brain doing in that moment? Are we making a real decision, or just kicking the can? And how do we tell the difference? We dig into: The two flavors of procrastination — not feeling the future vs. avoiding the discomfortWhy "later" needs a "when," and what specificity actually changesThe difference between a task that needs doing and a decision that needs makingHow to close an open loop that's been open way too longGoing toward positives vs. avoiding negatives, and why one of those is more sustainableTime estimation, and why some things aren't knowable until you startAri's new book, the ADHD Productivity ManualGuest Spotlight Ari Tuckman, PsyD is a psychologist, author, and international presenter specializing in ADHD. He's given more than 600 presentations and podcast interviews across America and nine other countries, and is the author of four books: ADHD After Dark, Understand Your Brain, Get More Done, More Attention, Less Deficit, and Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD. He chairs the CHADD Conference Committee. This is his sixth appearance on the show. Links & Notes Ari's website: https://drarituckman.comAri on Instagram: @AriTuckmanPsyDBooks by Ari Tuckman:ADHD After DarkUnderstand Your Brain, Get More DoneMore Attention, Less DeficitIntegrative Treatment for Adult ADHDADHD Productivity Manual (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:13) - Join us over on Patreon! (02:13) - Introducing Ari Tuckman (03:06) - "I'll do it later..." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

21 de mai.

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38 min
26/09/2024

The Antisocial Personality: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 2)

The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Series: Unmasking the Cruel Con Artist In the second episode of the "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Bill and Megan focus on one of the most challenging and dangerous high conflict personality types: those with antisocial personality traits, also known as cruel con artists. They explore what defines this personality type, how to identify the red flags, and most importantly, what you can do to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics. Bill and Megan start by discussing the key characteristics of people with antisocial personality traits, including their lack of empathy, remorse, and their tendency to lie and deceive without hesitation. They note that while not all individuals with antisocial traits are violent criminals, many engage in secretive behaviors that can be extremely harmful to those close to them. One of the main challenges with those who have antisocial personality traits is their ability to charm and manipulate others. Bill and Megan emphasize the importance of looking beyond surface-level charm and conducting thorough background checks when entering into any significant relationship, whether personal or professional. They also discuss the confusion and self-doubt that often arise when dealing with someone who has antisocial personality traits. Megan shares a personal experience of feeling confused and questioning her own perceptions when interacting with someone who exhibited these traits. Questions we answer in this episode: What are the key characteristics of someone with antisocial personality traits?How can you identify if someone you know might have antisocial personality traits?What are some common manipulative tactics used by people with antisocial personality traits?How can you protect yourself from being conned or harmed by someone with antisocial personality traits?What should you do if you suspect you're in a relationship with someone who has antisocial personality traits?Key Takeaways: People with antisocial personality traits lack empathy, remorse, and frequently lie and deceive others.Charm and manipulation are common traits, making it essential to look beyond surface-level impressions.Background checks and seeking input from others who know the person are crucial when entering significant relationships.Trust your gut feelings if something seems "off" or too good to be true.Prioritize self-protection and set clear boundaries when dealing with individuals suspected of having antisocial personality traits.This episode provides invaluable insights into the complex and often dangerous world of those with antisocial personality traits. As part of the "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, it helps listeners understand the unique challenges posed by this specific high conflict personality type. By recognizing the red flags, common manipulative tactics, and the importance of self-protection, listeners will be better equipped to navigate relationships with these individuals. Bill and Megan's expertise and practical advice make this a must-listen for anyone looking to safeguard themselves and their loved ones from the devastating impact of cruel con artists. Links & Other Notes BOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDating RadarHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesIt's All Your Fault!Managing High Conflict People in CourtCOURSESHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleCONSULTATIONSConsultation with Bill or MeganARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality DisorderOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - The Antisocial Type (01:08) - The Problem (06:06) - Antisocial, Sociopath, and Psychopath (08:00) - Categories of Behavior (11:50) - Impact on Others (13:05) - Generally the Worst (14:40) - Against Society's Rules (17:59) - Counseling (19:48) - Identifying (26:04) - What You Can Do (29:44) - Saying Something (31:52) - Bit of Wisdom (34:20) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline Personality Types

26/09/2024

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35 min
31/10/2024

Unmasking the Narcissist: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 5)

Navigating Narcissistic High Conflict Personalities In this revealing episode of "It's All Your Fault," part of the Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life series, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy explore the world of narcissistic high conflict personalities. They delve into the key traits of narcissists, the distinction between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists, and the potential connection between narcissistic personalities and domestic violence. Recognizing Narcissistic High Conflict Personalities Bill and Megan outline the defining characteristics of narcissistic high conflict personalities, such as their incessant need to feel superior, their sense of entitlement, and their lack of empathy. They explain how these individuals often exploit and mistreat others to preserve their grandiose self-image and how they respond when confronted with perceived challenges to their superiority. The Two Faces of Narcissism: Grandiose vs. Vulnerable Not all narcissists are alike. Bill and Megan explore the contrasts between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists. Grandiose narcissists tend to be more calculated and predatory in their actions, while vulnerable narcissists are generally more reactive and emotionally unstable. Grasping these nuances can be essential in recognizing and handling high conflict personalities. Narcissism in Various Contexts Narcissistic personalities can be encountered in various aspects of life, but some fields and occupations appear to draw them more than others. Bill and Megan discuss the prevalence of narcissists in healthcare, higher education, and the tech industry, and how these individuals can foster toxic work environments and strained relationships. Questions we answer in this episode: What defines narcissistic high conflict personalities?How do grandiose and vulnerable narcissists differ in their conduct?Which fields and occupations are more likely to attract narcissistic personalities?Is there a link between narcissism and domestic violence?How can you identify and cope with a narcissistic high conflict personality?Key Takeaways: Narcissistic high conflict personalities constantly strive to feel superior and entitled.They often lack empathy and manipulate others to uphold their inflated self-image.Grandiose narcissists are more calculated, while vulnerable narcissists are more reactive.Some fields, like healthcare and higher education, may attract more narcissists.Recognizing the differences between narcissistic personalities can aid in identifying and managing them.This episode offers valuable insights into the intricate realm of narcissistic high conflict personalities. Whether you're navigating a relationship with a narcissist in your personal life or at work, Bill and Megan's expertise and practical guidance can help you manage these challenging interactions and safeguard your well-being. Links & Other Notes COURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsHandling Family Law Cases Involving Narcissistic High Conflict PeopleBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDating RadarSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderARTICLESDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?Narcissists As LeadersLiving with High Conflict People Series: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with a Narcissist High Conflict PersonNarcissists as Leaders: Good or Bad for Your Organization?DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELPNational Domestic Violence Hotline800.799.SAFE (7233) USAServices AustraliaFamily Violence Resources CanadaOTHER COUNTRIES: do an online search for “domestic violence in ___ (your country or city’s name)”OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Part 6 (01:18) - Narcissistic HCPs (02:48) - Social Impairment and/or Internal Distress (04:55) - See Themselves as Superior (12:02) - Feeling Entitled to Special Treatment (13:16) - Lacking Empathy (21:12) - Stats (24:06) - The Two Types (27:17) - Lying (29:41) - Apologizing (32:00) - Domestic Violence (34:10) - Stalking (35:00) - Letting Go of Relationships (39:11) - Signs If It’s Your Partner (43:09) - Steps to Take (45:29) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A Special Guest

31/10/2024

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47 min
15/05/2025

Royal Family Fallout: How Public Scrutiny Damages Family Reconciliation

Royal Family Drama: Understanding High Conflict Family Dynamics In this compelling episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter dive into the high-profile family conflict within the British Royal Family, specifically examining the situation with Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, and their relationship with the rest of the monarchy. Through this lens, they explore broader lessons about family conflict, institutional traditions, and the impact of public scrutiny on family dynamics. The Role of Media and Public SpotlightBill and Megan discuss how media attention can escalate family conflicts, making resolution more difficult. They emphasize that keeping conflicts small and private is crucial for resolution. The hosts examine how the Netflix documentary, Oprah interview, and Harry's memoir "Spare" have affected family dynamics and potentially complicated reconciliation efforts. Institutional Structure vs. Modern ExpectationsThe episode explores the tension between traditional hierarchical structures and modern expectations of equality. Bill and Megan analyze how this clash affects family businesses and institutions during generational transitions, using the Royal Family as a prime example of these challenges. Family Conflict Resolution StrategiesDrawing from their extensive experience, Bill and Megan share insights about effective conflict resolution techniques, including the importance of private discussions, mutual respect, and the role of skilled mediators in family disputes. Questions we answer in this episode: How does media attention affect family conflict resolution?What role do traditional institutions play in family dynamics?How can families manage public vs. private boundaries?When should families seek outside help for conflict?What makes reconciliation possible in high conflict situations?Key Takeaways: Keep family conflicts private and small-scale for better resolutionConsider the impact of public attention on family dynamicsFocus on future solutions rather than past grievancesRecognize the importance of mutual respect and equalityUnderstand when to move forward versus continuing conflictThis episode offers valuable insights for anyone dealing with family conflict, whether in public or private settings. Through the lens of the Royal Family's situation, listeners gain practical strategies for managing family dynamics, understanding institutional pressures, and working toward meaningful resolution in challenging relationships. Links & Other Notes NEW COURSENew Ways for Couples & FamiliesSIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER hereOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - Conflict in the Royal Family (01:06) - Catching Up (04:54) - Harry and Meghan (12:52) - A Grownup in the Room (17:17) - Devil’s Advocate (20:27) - The Institution (24:26) - Family Dynamics (26:24) - New Ways for Couples and Families (29:20) - Working Toward Equal Relationships (32:07) - EAR Skills (34:57) - Wrap Up (35:33) - A Brief Hiatus

15/05/2025

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37 min
20/02/2025

Seeds of Personality: Understanding Psychopathy's Origins and Impact (Part 2)

Understanding Psychopathy: Nature, Nurture, and Warning Signs In this enlightening continuation of their discussion on psychopathy, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter delve deeper into understanding how personality patterns develop and why some individuals with psychopathic traits go undetected. Following up on their previous episode exploring the $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system, Bill and Megan examine whether someone can suddenly "become" psychopathic and discuss the crucial developmental stages that shape personality. The episode explores the fascinating intersection of genetics, early childhood experiences, and cultural environment in forming personality patterns. Bill and Megan emphasize how the first five years of life are particularly crucial in personality development, with many patterns established by age six. They share valuable insights about identifying warning signs in relationships and workplaces, while discussing the historical evolutionary advantages that may have contributed to these personality traits surviving in human populations. The conversation takes an important turn toward practical advice, offering guidance for those who suspect they might be in a relationship with someone showing psychopathic traits. Bill and Megan discuss treatment possibilities, safety considerations, and the importance of seeking professional help when needed. Questions we answer in this episode: Can someone suddenly "switch" to become psychopathic?How do early childhood experiences shape personality development?What are the warning signs of psychopathic traits in relationships?Is psychopathy treatable?How can you safely handle relationships with someone showing these traits?Key Takeaways: Personality patterns are largely established by age 5-6Genetics play a significant role in antisocial personality traitsWarning signs include disconnects between words and actionsTreatment options are limited, especially for adultsSafety should be the primary concern when leaving these relationshipsThis episode provides essential information for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on relationships and society. Through practical examples and expert insights, listeners gain valuable knowledge about recognizing warning signs and protecting themselves while maintaining professional and personal relationships. Links & Other Notes PSYCHOPATHY ARTICLEBerkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?BOOKSIt's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesCOURSESHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:39) - Psychopathy Part 2 (01:09) - Can a Switch Be Flipped? (03:26) - The First Five Years (08:05) - Looking for Signs (13:53) - Pushing Forward (22:13) - What to Do (25:13) - Treatment (29:14) - Wrap Up (31:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Listener Questions

20/02/2025

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33 min

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