Matchmaker Matchmaker Aleeza Ben Shalom & Rabbi Yisroel Bernath

In this episode, Aleeza and the Rabbi talk about a listener's question about the unique challenges of dating as a middle-aged Jew in the rural South. Rachel, a listener from Virginia, shares her experience of connecting with another Jewish divorcee from North Carolina and the complexities of their new relationship. Aleeza and the Rabbi discuss the pressures of long-distance relationships, the difficulty of finding Jewish partners in small communities, and the importance of giving potential relationships a fair chance despite geographical and social hurdles. They also invite Rachel and her match to share their journey on the podcast.

Key Points:
Long-Distance Relationship Dynamics: The hosts talk about the intensity and challenges that come with long-distance dating, including managing communication and expectations.
Scarcity of Jewish Partners in Small Towns: Aleeza and the Rabbi explore the pressure of dating within a limited Jewish community and the fear of settling due to a lack of options.
Importance of Real Connections: They stress the need to tell the difference between feeling forced into a relationship due to limited options and recognizing a genuine connection.
Giving Relationships a Fair Chance: The hosts suggest a "five date challenge" to allow time for a real connection to develop before making a final decision and highlight the potential blessings in having fewer dating options.

To submit your question for a future episode, go to www.MarriageMindedMentor.com/Podcast

Watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdUtaMTM0rzqa4R2eZWyA9Q

In this episode of Matchmaker Matchmaker, Rabbi and Aleeza tackle a big question from a listener named Shoshana, who has been single for ten years and is struggling to understand why finding a life partner is so hard. The discussion looks at both the spiritual and practical sides of finding a match, exploring the balance between divine intervention and free will. Rabbi emphasizes that the challenge of finding a soulmate is part of God's plan and talks about how time and effort in relationships are crucial for their longevity and success.

Key Points:
Divine Intervention and Free Will: Rabbi explains that while God is involved in matchmaking, humans also have free will, which means the process requires their active participation and decision-making.
The Importance of Effort: Both hosts agree that the difficulty in finding a partner is intentional, designed to make individuals value and work hard for their relationships, ensuring they are cherished and maintained.
Multiple Potential Soulmates: Aleeza and Rabbi discuss the idea that there isn't just one perfect soulmate for each person; several individuals could potentially fulfill that role, which can alleviate some pressure and open more possibilities.
Practical Advice and Hope: The episode concludes with practical advice, such as Aleeza's "Mystery in Your History" course, which helps individuals re-evaluate past connections, and a hopeful message encouraging patience and perseverance in the journey to find a life partner.

To submit your question for a future episode, go to www.MarriageMindedMentor.com/Podcast

Watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdUtaMTM0rzqa4R2eZWyA9Q

In this episode, Aleeza and the Rabbi answer a question from Judith, a widow in her 50s. Judith notices that many divorced men she meets blame their failed marriages on their ex-wives' emotional issues, which they say come from being raised by Holocaust survivors. The episode looks into whether this is a real pattern or just an excuse. The Rabbi and Aleeza also talk about how the Holocaust affects later generations. They give Judith and others advice on dating.

Key Points:

Recurring Theme in Divorce Reasons: Judith sees that many divorced men say their ex-wives are emotionally unavailable because of their Holocaust survivor parents.
Holocaust's Lingering Impact: The Rabbi explains how the trauma from the Holocaust can affect the children of survivors, shaping their emotional and relationship issues.
Pattern Recognition and Self-Reflection: Aleeza and Rabbi suggest that Judith think about why she sees this pattern and how her own background might play a role.
Advice for Change: They recommend that Judith try dating outside her usual community to find someone who is emotionally available and a good match.

Watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdUtaMTM0rzqa4R2eZWyA9Q

To submit your question for a future episode, go to www.MarriageMindedMentor.com/Podcast

Join us for another episode of Matchmaker Matchmaker where your hosts, Aleeza and Rabbi, dive into a heartfelt query from Yosef, who is facing the challenge of unrequited love with a friend. The episode explores the delicate balance of maintaining a friendship while dealing with romantic feelings that aren't reciprocated.

Key Points:

Respecting the Friend's Decision: Aleeza stresses the importance of respecting the friend's feelings and decision to remain just friends, highlighting how essential it is to honor these boundaries.
Timing for Reapproaching: Aleeza advises waiting at least six months before considering to express feelings again, suggesting a gentle approach to see if the dynamics might have changed, without applying pressure.
The Importance of Moving On: Rabbi emphasizes the necessity for Yosef to focus on moving forward, recommending that he explore other romantic possibilities instead of waiting for his friend’s feelings to change.
Taking Time for Self-Reflection: Both hosts agree on the benefits of Yosef taking some time away from the friendship if needed, to mitigate emotional pain and to make space for new, reciprocative relationships.
Share

Watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdUtaMTM0rzqa4R2eZWyA9Q

To submit your question for a future episode, go to www.MarriageMindedMentor.com/Podcast

In this episode of Matchmaker Matchmaker, Aleeza and Rabbi respond to a listener who is struggling with self-criticism after a past relationship. They discuss the importance of forgiving oneself and using mistakes as learning opportunities for better future relationships. The conversation offers practical advice on personal growth and emotional recovery post-breakup.

Key Points:
Normalizing Mistakes: Aleeza points out that making mistakes is a common part of all human interactions. She likens it to how children stumble when learning to walk, illustrating that errors are essential for personal development.

Timing of Conversations: Aleeza shares a personal tip about managing emotions during conflicts. She advises waiting until you're calm to discuss sensitive topics to ensure the conversation is constructive.

Shared Responsibility: Rabbi highlights that problems in relationships are usually not one-sided. Recognizing that both partners may contribute to issues can alleviate unnecessary self-blame.

Constructive Reflection: They offer advice on how to reflect on past errors effectively, which includes stopping negative behaviors, expressing regret, clearly stating intentions for change, and making plans for improvement.

In this episode of Matchmaker Matchmaker, Aleeza and Rabbi discuss the challenges people face when dating after a divorce. They offer advice on dealing with public perception, the best time to share your divorce history, and learning from past relationships to improve future ones. This conversation provides practical tips for those looking to find love again.

Key Points:
Stigma Around Divorce: Aleeza explains that being divorced is more accepted today than before. She suggests that having been married shows you're serious about relationships, which can be a plus when dating again.

When to Share About Divorce: The hosts talk about the right time to tell someone you're dating that you've been divorced. They emphasize being honest and confident about your past.

Learning from the Past: It's important to reflect on previous relationships and understand what you can do better. Knowing what went wrong helps you prepare for a better relationship next time.

Owning Your Story: Aleeza and Rabbi encourage taking responsibility for your part in a past relationship ending. They say this shows maturity and can make you more attractive to potential partners.

To submit your question for a future episode, go to www.MarriageMindedMentor.com/Podcast