175 episodes

When the clutter, motherhood, relationships, and life seem too overwhelming. When you have resentment and frustration every day - this is a sign you have been living on auto-pilot- letting life happen to you instead of living it ON PURPOSE. I’ve been there. Three kids under 4 and I decided to declutter my home and realized I was living my whole life on autopilot. I wanted more. I wanted to take action, be more present, have more fun! Enjoy my kids! I’m Shawna, You might know me as your Nerdy Girlfriend. I am a Certified Coach Practitioner, a Transformational Life Coach, and Registered Professional Counsellor-Candidate (RPC-C). I use the Enneagram, Faith and CBT as tools in my life coaching approach. I teach moms around the world the tools they need to set values and vision for the 9 areas of their lives so they can take the right steps towards living life ON PURPOSE. Find my books, course and blog at simpleonpurpose.ca

Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting Shawna Scafe, Professional Counsellor

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.9 • 30 Ratings

When the clutter, motherhood, relationships, and life seem too overwhelming. When you have resentment and frustration every day - this is a sign you have been living on auto-pilot- letting life happen to you instead of living it ON PURPOSE. I’ve been there. Three kids under 4 and I decided to declutter my home and realized I was living my whole life on autopilot. I wanted more. I wanted to take action, be more present, have more fun! Enjoy my kids! I’m Shawna, You might know me as your Nerdy Girlfriend. I am a Certified Coach Practitioner, a Transformational Life Coach, and Registered Professional Counsellor-Candidate (RPC-C). I use the Enneagram, Faith and CBT as tools in my life coaching approach. I teach moms around the world the tools they need to set values and vision for the 9 areas of their lives so they can take the right steps towards living life ON PURPOSE. Find my books, course and blog at simpleonpurpose.ca

    178. Don’t water the weeds (intentional parenting for proactive connection)

    178. Don’t water the weeds (intentional parenting for proactive connection)

    Giving your child extra attention might seem like a great idea, but if it’s the wrong type of attention it could do more harm than good. Let’s learn what it means to parent intentionally and make proactive connections with your family. 



     



    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. 



     

    In this episode I discuss: 



    Why we get stuck in the negative

    Our negativity bias as parents

    Your experience of motherhood

    The Nurtured Heart approach

    How to use this approach on 'difficult' kids



     

    All the fun links you might enjoy: 



    Is momlife unfun? How to be a more fun mom, to stop withholding fun from yourself 



    More on the negativity bias





    When I stopped enjoying my kids



    Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories





    Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving)

    Conscious parenting through the struggles, and letting go of perfectionism in motherhood

    Transforming the Difficult Child: the Nurtured Heart Approach 

    Article on Nurtured Heart Approach 

    Do you typecast your kids? (Labels and how they impact our parenting and our kids)

    Check out the episode playlists for your topic of interest right here



     

    Simple pleasure links



    The wordle (also search wordle unlimited for more)

    The heardle (also search heardle unlimited)

    Spot the difference site (click explorer games for more variety and levels)

    Highlights hidden pictures book

    Spot the difference brain games book 



    Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)



     



     



    Full transcript (unedited)



    0:18

    So friends around here, I like to talk about all the ways that we can turn off the autopilot living, just living reactively by default for me, it looked like a lot of complacency and step into doing things on purpose with intention, getting clear and focused on where we want to go and taking steps to get there. Today we're going to talk about intentional parenting, just parenting in general, but doing it with intention. And the topic of focus can come up in parenting, when we start thinking, what are we focusing on? What gets the most attention, what gets our most attention in a single day, what gets our attention as a parent. And I don't know if you're like me, but it can go to demands and the urgency who needs to be aware what needs to happen, what needs to be cooked, who's eating one of the eating, where the eating, and it's like, we're just directors of all of this. And of course, as our kids get older, we can start to give them ownership of this and they can start self directing. But our attention in a given day,

    • 16 min
    177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding)

    177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding)

    Motivation. It is something we all want more of. However, every day we take little actions and make little choices that are coming from motivation. A motivation to avoid something or a motivation to move towards something. And why does it matter what is motivating us?



     



     



    In this episode:



    * Motivation vs lack of motivation

    * How to know when you are operating from AWAY motviation

    * Spotting the victim mindset or scarcity mindset

    * How to know when you are operating from TOWARDS motivation

    * Motivation and abundance mindset



     



     



     



     



    Mentioned in this episode:



    The group coaching call, Feb 2 2023



    The Making Change Challenge, sign up here for the four lessons and worksheets



    Send me a message on Instagram



    Share your thoughts with the Facebook group 



    The Enneagram and Motherhood series



    Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr)



    The not-enough mindset (scarcity and abundance)



     







     



    Full Transcript (unedited)



    0:00

    Hey friends, welcome back is Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counsellor from simple on purpose.ca. So you might have figured out that this podcast is a biweekly podcast. But last week, I dropped a bonus episode about not knowing what you want in life. And I talked about six reasons why dreaming or thinking of your life on purpose might actually be hard. I wanted to share that episode early so that you could have time to sign up for the group coaching call on February 2, if that's something you're interested in, I'll link info on that in the show notes. And essentially, that call is a time where you can bring the work you want to do with intentional living this year. And I'll answer any of your questions and also bring people on live for coaching. In the past, I've run group programs, I used to run the life on purpose Academy, back in 2020, and then ran a couple group programs in 2021, I took a little bit of a break. And now I'm thinking of unique and different ways to bring that group coaching aspect back into things. Because in my own experience of being part of group programs is just listening to other people just hearing their questions answered, you get so much value, even though it might not be the exact same issue. Just the themes are relevant, and the approaches can be applied in so many different ways. So I find a lot of value in those. Also, I just really love hanging out with you guys. I love that community aspect. I'm always looking for ways to encourage community amongst you, listeners and blog readers. So I'll link that in the show notes. If you're interested. I wanted to follow that up with one more episode of ideas and approaches to help you be really mindful about the future that you're creating. So I wanted to share on the topic of motivation,

    • 17 min
    176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer

    176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer

    I want to talk to you about listening more deeply to yourself and asking, "what do I want?". For some of us, we are out of touch with our dreams or our life vision. We might feel overwhelmed, or like it is impractical, or like we have failed too much in the past. This episode is to help you see some of the ways you might be stuck with listening to your own dreams and ideas, and some tips on moving through that. 



     





    “A ship is safe in the harbour but that is not what ships are for” - source unknown, probably John A Shedd



     "You have to show up before inspiration will." - James Clear



     



    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. 



     



    In this episode I discuss: 



    Listening to yourself on a deep level and on a surface level

    Six reasons why it might be hard to know your dreams and goals

    Giving yourself permission to have dreams and ideas and goals

    Being a mom who struggles to dream and feels selfish to have goals

    Learning to inspire yourself



     



    All the fun links you might enjoy 



    Six signs you are living on autopilot

    Are you too comfortable? And what is it costing you?

    Are you trading in peace for relief?

    The joy of being mediocre

    Redefine the life you want and what success looks like

    Hurdles to being a mom who has dreams and hobbies

    What you can learn from imposter syndrome

    For the mom waiting for life to happen 

    Dreaming for the non-dreamer, from A Little Light 

    Join me on Instagram 



     



    Sign up for the Feb 2nd Group Coaching Call - open to anyone who has questions or would like coaching on this topic and the topic of creating your future



    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)







     



    Full transcript (unedited)



    0:00

    Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca



    If you are joining us for the new year, if you just started searching like intentional living or living life on purpose or goals or something, and you found this podcast, welcome, I'm so glad you're here. Just to give you the quick and fast context, I am a mom of three kids who are now 1110, and eight. And around here we talk about ways to simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that so that you can show up for your life and live your life on purpose, live it intentionally live it with peace and purpose and presence and enjoy it. This episode is a follow up to the last one on creating your future and how we actually have the power to create our future when we turn off the autopilot. And some of the main points to notice in that episode were that we're really conditioned on how we show up in the world. And we really live from that condition.

    • 18 min
    175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?

    175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?

    With 2023 finally here, it is time to start looking forward to the future and improve our health, relationships, and life. But sometimes it might be a good idea to look inwards as well and see if we intend to succeed in those goals passively, or actively. Kickstart the year by turning off the autopilot and living life intentionally.



     



    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. 



     



    In this episode I discuss: 



    Taking charge of your own future 

    Advice to live life intentionally

    How our past affects our future, and how to use that in the present

    The compound effect of our habits 

    Three things you can do to help shape your future



     



    All the fun links you might enjoy 



    Throw Throw Burrito (on Amazon)

    Change your experience by how you make memories in motherhood (episode link)

    Think the best of me, or not (embracing our hard and awesome)

    Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (mom martyr post)

    Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped (blog post)

    I’ve been living on autopilot (a post from 2015 on working through the frustration of waking up to a complacent life)

    For the mom who is waiting for life to happen (how waiting keeps us from taking action)

    Six things nobody told me about Intentional Living (when it is hard work to be intentional, but it is worth it)

    What will change cost you? Paying the status quo or investing in change (episode link)

    What we say about ourselves, and why it matters (self-limiting identity)

    Small things that can change your whole life (how I applied the compound effect to my life)

    Life on Purpose Workbook

    Live your vision worksheets

    Live your values worksheets 



    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)



     







    FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited)



    0:11

    Hello friends, happy 2023 Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor, here to walk with you through all things about simplifying your home, your heart, your life, and living it on purpose. For us here in Canada, in my house, we celebrated Christmas over the holiday. My husband had time off, I had time off, like for real time off. And in the like, 11 years of motherhood. This was one of the few Christmases where I felt like I had a truly great time. So weird. I mean, of course, plans got cancelled. I got sick kids complained siblings thought the house was a mess. There was tears, there was feelings, mine included. But I don't know, maybe it's because I was really trying to have eyes for those really great mome...

    • 21 min
    174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood

    174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood

    With all the planning, gift wrapping, baking, and decorating, this time of year can get crazy, and life seems to just stop until the 25th is well behind us. Today I wanted to talk about the concept of Hygge and how to make Christmas feel a little simpler, a little more manageable, and a little more enjoyable. And put this all against the backdrop of the stress response we can find ourselves in as mothers. Understanding the concept of the Window of Tolerance can give you more awareness over times when you feel little capacity for daily life and seem to run on overwhelm and stress. 



     



    In this episode I discuss: 



    The three components of Hygge

    Holiday activities and how to get the family involved

    Decluttering Christmas

    Our Window of Tolerance 



     



    All the fun links you might enjoy 



    All posts and episodes about Simple Christmas

    Posts and episodes on hygge

    30 days of hygge free calendar

    Enneagram + Motherhood series

    Enneagram 101 post and episode 

    CBC Gem 

    Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving)

    Episode playlist on emotional intelligence for moms 

    An intro to polyvagal theory (window of tolerance)

    Infographic on the window of tolerance

    Reactive vs proactive approach to the day

    Simple Christmas Planner

    Simple Saturdays email



     



    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)



     



     







     



    FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited)



     



    0:15

    Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that you can remove all the distractions, all of the clutter, all of the excess, and just show up for the stuff that really matters the most to you the stuff that is really important to you. So as I was preparing for the podcast this week, I was drafting up a podcast on goals and visions and creating a future you love. And then I was like, if I heard this right now in the middle of Christmas, I don't think I would even be listening to it. Because like kind of just stops around Christmas, right? Which I don't mind. I really love the idea of hibernating a little. I think it really honors this season that we're in we when we can step back from that pace of summer and spring and kind of pay attention to what nature is doing and model it a little bit flow with it and let ourselves hibernate a little bit more. So there's my soapbox moment, let's all hibernate a little bit more this winter.



    Which brings me to the notion of Hygge I'm probably going to use the word 'hoo-ga' nd 'hyg' i...

    • 20 min
    173. What you can learn from imposter syndrome (inquiring into the doubt and fears with these journalling questions)

    173. What you can learn from imposter syndrome (inquiring into the doubt and fears with these journalling questions)

    Everyone has doubts and fears, but sometimes these doubts can manifest into something stronger and more potent, Imposter Syndrome. Today I go through a list of questions to help you inquire about the Imposter Syndrome within you, and how to act on what you find. 



     



    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. 

     



    Questions on how to inquire into the Imposter Syndrome within. Use these questions for self-inquiry, journalling is a great option. 







    How does imposter syndrome impact me? 



    When I doubt, what changes? How do I act? 

    When I have fear, what changes? How do I act from this place of fear?





    Where in my life does imposter syndrome show up?

    How long have I felt imposter syndrome? Is it long-standing? What seems to bring it on?

    How do I try to manage the part of me that feels imposter syndrome? How do I respond to that part of me?

    How does the ‘part of me that doubts’ think it is helping me? Protecting me?

    What does that ‘part of me that doubts’ need to feel safe

    When confidence is not available to me, what other feelings can help me with the doubt?

    How does the ‘part of me that is afraid of being found out’ think it is helping me?

    Who specifically am I afraid of ‘finding me out?’







     



    All the fun links you might enjoy 



    Byron Katie, recommend her books, specifically Loving What Is

    Episode 162. Think the best of me (Hard and Awesome)

    Hayley Morris, comedian (one of my fave bits that she does)

    Episode 76. Why it matters what you think

    Simple Christmas Planner (find it with the On Purpose Workbooks)



     



    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)







     



    FULL TRANSCRIPT



    0:00

    Hey friends, it's Shawna here at girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca. 



    So I am a mom of three I live in a small town in Canada, I have three kids, they are 11,10, and eight. And about eight years ago, seven or eight years ago, I was reading a book about decluttering. It's called The Joy of less by Francine J. And it was around Christmas time, and I was reading this book, and it suddenly hit me that I didn't need to keep all of the stuff I had in my house. So I went down to the basement, the basement of shame, there was like a walkway amongst some boxes that I could get from one door to another. And I started decluttering.



    And I was really hit with this awareness that I had been living my life, very complacently on autopilot. And going through that physical clutter of complacency. It really brought me to a place where I didn't want that in my life. I didn't want that in all areas of my life, I could just see suddenly, all of the ways I had been complacent in my life, living on autopilot. And that really prompted me to say, No, I'm going to put myself in the driver's seat, I'm going to take some action, I'm going to be intentional. And that was really what founded simple on purpose. It started with simplifying and it moved into living intentionally living on purpose.



    So around here, we keep this conversation going.

    • 19 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
30 Ratings

30 Ratings

docErin5 ,

Big thank you 🙏🏻

I just love this podcast - I just happened upon this wonderful podcast about 1 month ago now… and I’m not lying to say this wonderful podcaster/author/life coach has changed my life for the better. I resonate 100% with what is spoken about.
I now have the Life on Purpose workbook, I’m almost through it, and my husband has even expressed interest in it (I think he is seeing that I have more energy and drive). I have also dug into my wildly out-of-control garage and I now put makeup on and dress nicely every day.

Thank you Shawna. You’re doing such amazing work 💜and I appreciate you so much!

KarenJB7 ,

Just want I was looking for!

The simple on purpose podcast has been exactly what I needed. The podcasts are a perfect length and have so much variety in topics! From minimalism, declutting and all the things that come with motherhood, I am loving the encouragement and guidance from Shawna to live my life with more purpose and passion and really show up for my kids, family and life! This podcast has changed my life!

HoHumNoThanks ,

Wake up call

The recent podcast on “feeling disappointed about Christmas this year” was a great wake up call to the denial I’ve been experiencing lately. Great questions and practical steps I can take to discover and embrace a new way of celebrating what I value in this season. These podcasts often “wake me up” to thoughts or feelings I didn’t even realize I had. I love the relaxed, easy format (not too long!) and it feels like having a nice chat over coffee with a good friend.

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