The Nexus Podcast Brad Watson

We keep climbing ladders in this series on relational tensions. We have explored marriage and relational boundaries. Friendship and community are coming up next. But for this week, we are in search of a robust Jesus Path sexual ethic. To do that, we are going to need to put sex on a ladder. Just one more week of uncomfortable sex talk! But stay with me. Why is this important? Four quick reasons:First, the internet. Second, many folks walked away from purity culture with a lot of baggage, so we owe it to ourselves and our children to think through all of this in a much healthier way. Third, these conversations aren’t easy to have, even in our marriages, which means conversation starters might be good. Fourth, because a whole book of the Bible is dedicated to sexual innuendo and erotic love poetry. If Scripture is willing to go there, so am I. So, let’s have some fun, even if it is a little uncomfortable. 

This question was written by a Nexus person on the Sunday after Ash Wednesday as we reflected on questions of life and faith. It felt like a good question to consider together in this series on the tensions between us. As Jesus-path people, we’re called to live cruciform - cross-shaped - which involves serious demands on our life and character, to live in the self-giving pattern of Christ. That looks like radical forgiveness, hospitality, generosity, compassion - others-centeredness…But…must we be taken advantage of? How can we show up in our relationships with love and compassion without being depleted and exhausted? Is there a way for our relationships to fill us up, even as we give? Could living cruciform actually somehow be life-giving? We’ll look at surprising research on how boundaries can help us out. Some clarity around who we are (and who we aren’t) can lead to freedom. Clear “No!”s can help us say “Yes!” to people and things that are important, freeing us up to be compassionate and build relationships that are life-giving to all. 

With a little history of marriage behind us, it is time to start climbing some ladders. I want to peek at three paradigms for marriage we find in Scripture. Of course, we aren’t looking for marriage tips from David, or any other Biblical character for that matter. Rather, what I hope we will discover are paradigms in Scripture that might allow us to ease the pressure in marriage, while also reenchanting it.There is so much juicy stuff to get to, like what the eclipse this past week can teach us about marriage, why we might want to consider sex in marriage through the lens of justice, what the rabbinic wisdom of the Talmud can teach us about sex, when it is time for therapy, the tough choices in marriage, why we need a Trinitarian theology of “one flesh”, the business metaphor that defines successful marriages, and, of course, how to keep climbing the marriage ladder. And oh, I am bringing along a few choice quotes from my new favourite marriage guru, Harrison Scott Key, whose wife left him for “the human equivalent of Diet Mountain Dew.” Lines like that just bless my heart!

we are pressing on into our season of The Tensions. We have explored our tensions with God, ourselves, and our faith tradition. It is time now for us to consider relational tensions: the tensions we experience with others, be that in our marriages, friendships, or communities. Many years ago, I did a sermon entitled Sex on a Ladder, which we will return to in the next few weeks, but for this series, I wanted to expand on that teaching by going wider, deeper, and further. So, to begin, we are going on an odyssey adventure: A Brief History of Marriage.We have some fun and wild places to explore. History is a strange and fascinating beast, so we will start by debunking eight myths about the history of marriage (for instance, did marriage come about to protect or oppress women?). Then, we will explore why the Church was largely silent about marriage for 1200 years and the four main reasons the Church got into the business of solemnizing marriages (I am confident they will surprise you).Along the way we will learn about the most common case brought before courts in the Middle Ages (it has to do with marriage) and the rather uncomfortable ritual men had to undergo to annul a marriage (Kristen won’t even let me share the more "juicy" details of the ritual).We will of course land in our present day to discover the two social factors and pressures that are placing more tension on marriages today than ever before. 

For Easter Sunday, well, we have something special cooking, folks. The death we see on Good Friday will have one final word (which will be a treat for the eyes and ears) before we welcome in Resurrection Sunday!  I can hardly wait. Eliza and our Nexus Kids are contributing to the morning, which is always special. For my part, I want to present the meaning, promise, and hope of the resurrection in seven distinct movements. If I had my way, I would greet you all on Sunday morning with a mimosa for everyone. Alas, my hands are tied. Even still, I know this weekend will be meaningful, and a reminder of all that we can’t leave behind.

For Good Friday, we will look at the cross from a most unusual angle: aesthetically. 2000 years ago, the cross was an instrument of torture. 2000 years later it has been the subject of more artistic depictions than any other object or event in history. As one tourist to the National Gallery of Art tweeted after visiting the museum, “Well, that’s Western art for you. A thousand years of crucifixions then stripes.” I find that to be hilarious, but also telling. For centuries now, people all over the world have come to see an ancient form of torture as . . . beautiful? On Good Friday we will discover how that sentiment became possible.