Your Encore Life Craig Coile

As we are coming to the end of 2020 and look forward to 2021, we are going to offer encore episodes about the importance of and steps in writing a life plan.  2020 certainly didn’t turn out like the vision we may have had for it, but we have a lot to look forward to.  This past year has dealt a harsh blow to many plans  we may have had.  Some I know have been able to reboot their plans and move forward with an alternative direction, either changing course entirely or just navigating around the original planned course.  As 2021 approaches, we can look forward to a vaccine for Covid-19 and the return to some of the activities that we have been held back from doing as a result of this pandemic.
This is the perfect time to do what I believe is one of the most important steps to avoiding a life of regret by writing down a life plan, and we will spend the next 3 episodes replaying the 3 episodes that covered this nearly a year ago.  This also gives me time to take a bit of a break to revisit my life plan and make adjustments based on where I am now and this season of life to chart the course of where I want to be.  So don’t miss a single episode of this series.  Remember, just listening to teaching and information will get you nowhere unless you act on it, so here we go for part 3 of the series.
Episode 48 we talked about beginning with the end in mind by writing down what legacy you want to leave.  The action step was to write what people you designated would say when they eulogize you or after.
Episode 49 we talked about creating categories in your life plan, or what the book “Living Forward” refers to as life accounts.  This includes areas like Spiritual, Intellectual, Physical, Spouse, Children, Co-worker, etc. and writing a purpose statement for each, a statement of vision for where you want to be for your envisioned future when this category is at its best, a statement of current reality, and if applicable an inspiring quote or scripture.
Today is where we form an action plan, or make specific commitments for each life account that will eventually bridge the gap between our current reality and our envisioned future of where we need to be.  It is important to write you commitments as SMART goals.
Specific - What exactly are you committing to?  Non-negotiable Measurable - Quantify the result Actionable - Must start with an action verb such as run, walk, complete, quit… Realistic - Must be attainable, but best if it stretches you Time-Bound - Must have a time period that you will commit to, such as frequency, how many, …  Goals must have  completed by or due date Make a list of action items for each one of your life categories, or accounts.
Since a life plan is a living, breathing document, make your specific commitment action items incremental while still stretching yourself.  An example may be:
Physical Life Account:
A goal you may have for 2020 would be to run a 5K by the first day of summer.  You can create a specific commitment to go out and walk/run 4 days a week for 30 minutes.  That may mean you just walk four doors down the street in the first 2 weeks, 1/2 block after 4 weeks, incrementally increasing until 45 minutes isn’t enough, so increase your commitment to 45 minutes, then 60 minutes.
Specific Commitment:  Action commitment to do something to get you from your current reality and your envisioned future.
Goals: dictionary.com defines a goal as: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end. Goals will need to be written in the SMART format as well, with the time bound being a specific date to accomplish it.  We will talk more about goals in next week in episode 13.
Action Item: Write specific commitments, action statements for each of the life categories or accounts that you have that move you from your current reality incrementally to your envisioned future for each.
I will be pausing this podcast during the holidays to re-evaluate my life plan

As we are coming to the end of 2020 and look forward to 2021, we are going to offer encore episodes about the importance of and steps in writing a life plan.  2020 certainly didn’t turn out like the vision we may have had for it, but we have a lot to look forward to.  This past year has dealt a harsh blow to many plans we may have had.  Some I know have been able to reboot their plans and move forward with an alternative direction, either changing course entirely or just navigating around the original planned course.  As 2021 approaches, we can look forward to a vaccine for Covid-19 and the return to some of the activities that we have been held back from doing as a result of this pandemic.
 
This is the perfect time to do what I believe is one of the most important steps to avoiding a life of regret by writing down a life plan, and we will spend the next 3 episodes replaying the 3 episodes that covered this nearly a year ago.  This also gives me time to take a bit of a break to revisit my life plan and make adjustments based on where I am now and this season of life to chart the course of where I want to be.  So don’t miss a single episode of this series.  Remember, just listening to teaching and information will get you nowhere unless you act on it, so here we go for part 2 of this series.
 
Much of the information I am going to share is based on the book, “Living Forward” by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy as I have mentioned in previous episodes.  You can find the reference and link to the book in the show notes.
 
Last week we talked about beginning your life plan with the end in mind, and your action step was to write down what legacy you hope to leave behind once you are gone by reflecting on what you would want people to say about you at your funeral and after.
 
Today we are going to get down to the specific about several categories, or what the book “Living Forward” call Life Accounts.  Examples of categories, or life accounts that you would want to include are:
 
Spiritual Intellectual Physical Marital Parental Social Financial Vocational Avocational  
This list is not exhaustive and you can have different names for the categories that may be more specific to you, for instance “spouse” or you spouses name, your children’s names.  You can also add categories such as grandchildren, travel, exercise, etc.  I recommend you list them in order of priority, but that it up to you.  They do recommend putting categories that are related directly to you near the top, such as spiritual, intellectual, and physical.  Although this may feel selfish, it goes along with the thought that you can’t take care of and add value to others until you can take care of yourself.
 
Hyatt and Harkavy suggest there are four considerations when making your list of life accounts:
 
Life Accounts are unique to you. Life Accounts can be names whatever you want. Life Accounts are interrelated. Life Accounts will change over time, as we discussed last week.  
You will need to get specific for each account.  Each one will need to have the following sections:
 
Purpose Statement:  What is your reason for being in this area, our role? Envisioned Future: What does this area of your life look like when it is at it’s best? Inspiring Quote or Scripture. Current Reality:  Keep it simple and realistic.  Write it as bulleted statements. Specific Commitments:  Similar to goals, what steps do you need to take to get from the current reality to your envisioned future.  These steps will change as you accomplish them and move to more advanced steps.  
Here is an example of my physical life account from my life plan:
 
Physical:
My physical purpose is to maintain my body as God’s temple through proper nutrition, exercise, and following recommended checkups.
 
I am at a very ideal weight for me, and I have the energy to accomplish my daily activities and desires.  I am exercisin

As we are coming to the end of 2020 and look forward to 2021, we are going to offer encore episodes about the importance of and steps in writing a life plan.  2020 certainly didn’t turn out like the vision we may have had for it, but we have a lot to look forward to.  This past year has dealt a harsh blow for many plans  we may have had.  Some I know have been able to reboot their plans and move forward with an alternative direction, either changing course entirely or just navigating around the original planned course.  As 2021 approaches, we can look forward to a vaccine for Covid-19 and the return to some of the activities that we have been held back from doing as a result of this pandemic.
 
This is the perfect time to do what I believe is one of the most important steps to avoiding a life of regret by writing down a life plan, and we will spend the next 3 episodes replaying the 3 episodes that covered this nearly a year ago.  This also gives me time to take a bit of a break to revisit my life plan and make adjustments based on where I am now and this season of life to chart the course of where I want to be.  So don’t miss a single episode of this series.  Remember, just listening to teaching and information will get you nowhere unless you act on it, so here we go for part 1 of this series.
 
A life plan is a short written document that is written by you for you.  The life plan we will be discussing starts with the end in mind, how do you want to be remembered, the legacy you leave.  The second part details your life priorities, the who’s and what’s that are most important to you.  The third part details specific actions you will make to reach where you want to be.  This is where you can plug in your goals.
 
A life plan is a living document that needs to be reviewed often and can be modified as you move forward and/or into different seasons of life.
 
In this episode we will talk about beginning with the end in mind.  Think about how you would want each of these relationships to eulogize you and talk about you once you were gone from this earth.  These are just examples but this list is not exhaustive:
God (well done good and faithful servant) Spouse Children Grandchildren Closest Friends Casual Acquaintances Those you worked with, your colleagues Those who were in organizations you were part of Teammates Clients you served Your Church  
The example I will provide is from my co-workers from the school district I just retired from:
 
“Those that I worked with will recall how I always made them feel valued and appreciated.  They will talk about how I always made clear to all my faith, and that I was an example by being His hands and feet in serving those in need.  They will recall my desire for them to grow into leaders that focused on adding value to the lives of others.  They will talk about my honesty and integrity in all things that I did.”
 
In the book “Living Forward” by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy, they state that writing your eulogy as part of your life plan will “engage both the head and the heart”.  The book also states that if you can imagine you are attending your own funeral, what conversations would you hear:
 
What would those closest to your life? What stories would they tell one another? Would those stories make them laugh, cry, sigh, or all three? How would they summarize what your life meant to them?  
Leaving a legacy is inevitable. Leaving a legacy that you want is not, and requires planning and intention.
 
Hyatt and Harkavy go on to write:
 
“Our legacy comprises the spiritual, intellectual, relational, vocational, and social capital we pass on. It’s the sum total of the beliefs you embrace, the values you live by, the love you express, and the service you render to others.”
 
What do you want your legacy to look like with each of the relationships we talked about earlier?
 
Action item:  Write out a list of

Welcome to episode 47 of “Your Encore Life”. When thinking about this topic of the importance of connecting with others, it came to me that one of the most popular series I have done was about Finding Joy in episodes 16 - 23, and one of those episodes has great information about the importance of making connections and relationships. This episode will be an encore episode from the series “Finding Lasting Joy: Relationships. The main source I used for this series is the book “The Joy Model” by Jeff Spadafora.
In a blog post by John Maxwell titled “Five Steps for Connecting with Others, John says “Connection is a critical part of leadership, because you can’t lead if no one will follow. You have to connect with others in order to be a leader.
With that in mind, I want to share the following five steps for connecting with anyone. It can be a someone new, someone familiar, or someone you’re attempting to re-connect with after time. No matter who the other person is, if you’ll follow these five steps, you’ll be certain to create a genuine connection with them.
Step One: Set aside your agenda—if you want to connect with other people, you must make their agenda your priority in that moment. Genuine connection isn’t about making sure people understand you; it’s about making sure you understand other people. Clear your mind of your own worries, fears, ambitions, and plans, in order to focus on what the other person has to say.
Step Two: Ask curious questions—this goes hand in hand with my first point, because the practical step for getting out of your own head is to ask questions that help you get into the head of someone else. Curious questions have a layering effect; they build on one another and help drive the conversation to new and interesting places. Curious questions also help the other person know you’re engaged with them and want to keep the connection going.
Step Three: Lean into the conversation—this is the mid-point of connection, and it’s where self-discipline is most important. Leaning into a conversation is NOT the same as taking over a conversation. Leaning in does not mean shifting the rest of the conversation to you and your interests. Leaning in means increasing your curiosity and adding in thoughts that spur the connection deeper. It’s renewing your interest in your connection with the other person.
Step Four: Make a memorable moment— memorable moments don’t need to be manufactured, but they do need to be sought. A connection becomes memorable when both parties walk away with something positive to hold onto. Making a memorable moment doesn’t require a lot, but it does require authenticity on your part. You can make a memorable moment by zeroing in on a significant lesson you learned, or a statement that impacted you. It could be a shared laugh, a moment of grief, or a deep sense of community with the other person.
Step Five: Keep the connection alive—while it’s hard to create a connection, keeping one alive is considerably easier. It’s an intentional decision to keep the other person with you in some way. You might exchange encouraging texts or send one another helpful emails from time to time. Maybe it’s just the courtesy of remembering that person’s name so you can greet them and quickly reconnect the next time you see them. Do what you need to do to keep the spark alive, so you can build on it in the future.”
An article by Northwestern Medicine titled: 5 Benefits of Healthy Relationships they state that “As humans, the relationships we form with other people are vital to our mental and emotional wellbeing, and really, our survival. Humans have an inherent desire to be close to other people. To connect and build relationships. While a man stranded on an island, talking to a volleyball (you remember the movie!) isn’t necessarily “healthy,” his compulsion for company is. That’s because the fact of the matter is, healthy relationships (roma

This is Craig Coile, and thank you for joining me for this episode of Your Encore Life.  Today in episode 46 we are going to continue our discussion from last time on the importance of being in connection. This can be particularly important if you are retired or nearing retirement.  We typically have some connection by default if we have a regular job working with others.  But if you are retired or are a work at home entrepreneur, you need to be intentional about being connected with others.  Regardless of whether you are working or not, we need to be intentional about being in connection with others that is healthy for us.  Today we are going to talk about different types of friendships and how to make sure they are beneficial rather than harmful to our well being.
 
For the purposes of our discussion today, we are going to talk about 3 categories of friends.  Think about an outside circle with the category of casual friends, a smaller circle inside of that with the category of close friends, and a small inner circle with the category of core friends. The outer circle could consist of people you know casually from work, church, or neighbors. You may spend time with them occasionally mostly due to the nature of your environment. You may enjoy talking with them but only on a casual basis.  The next category are close friends. They are people you spend much more time with than casual friends. You intentionally make it a point to get together from time to time. They may be part of a group you are in such as common hobby interest or a small group bible study. You likely are comfortable talking to them about more personal things, much more so than casual friends. The next category is the small center of your circle that we are going to refer to as your core friends. This is a very small group that you trust with your most personal of discussions. These are the people you call and depend on when you need wise counsel, as accountability partners, and who you could call at 3AM and they would answer if it was necessary.
 
Let’s look at this from the standpoint of the Bible and those that Jesus invested in the most.  He had a group of 120 that He trained..casual.
He had 12 Disciples that He invested a great deal of time with…close.
He had Peter, James, and John that He trusted and took with Him to be alone with…core.
 
The bottom line is that we are wired to be in community - we are better together.
 
Pastor Rick Warren talks about what to look for and what to avoid in his podcast titled “Daily Hope”.  He gives an illustration about someone standing on a stage and reaching down to grab the hand of another person.  He asks if it is easier for the person on the stage to pull the other person up or for the other person to pull the one on the stage down?  We must take steps and be intentional in spending time with others that can pull us up when we are down and we can do the same for them and avoid people who can continuously pull us down.  He talked about what he refers to as missionary dating and how most often the one that feels they can change the person for the better ends up falling to their level if the relationship continues over time.  This can happen not only in dating, but in friendships.
 
Here are 6 characteristics that Rick Warren says are in people we should avoid becoming good friends with:
 
Argumentative: Some just love to argue and will do so about anything.  Often there is no convincing them otherwise even if their argument is unreasonable.  Proverbs 20:3 says 3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. Gossip: Someone who loves sharing information about others without solving the problem or having a solution. Proverbs 20:19 says A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. Flatterer: someone who gives false praise. Proverbs 20:5 says The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws t

This is Craig Coile, and thank you for joining me today. Do you feel you need a reboot?  That is what we are doing to talk about today on episode 45 of Your Encore Life.
I have been going through a process developed by Teresa McCloy called “The Realife Process” with my coach Mark Ross.  I had gone through several weeks of the process but was not really connecting with the process and felt I was making little progress.  When I had a few days to myself in the mountains trying to get back on track, I realized that even though the focus I had was something I wanted to do and will do, there were more important things that I needed to focus on first.  So I rebooted my focus and all the sudden the process became much clearer and more motivating for me.  The process wasn’t the problem, my focus was the problem.  I recently listened to another podcast called “The Begin Again Leadership Podcast” with Winston Faircloth.  He had taken a break from publishing his podcast for a period of time and when he returned, he said he needed a new start, a begin again moment which he referred to as refirement.  That really resonated with me that perhaps I needed a period of time away to have a refirement of my own.  I was also talking to someone recently that I had worked with on a life plan, or vision board a couple years ago. Even though the idea of a life plan is to revisit and revise at least quarterly or sooner if needed, they felt the plan had become stale to them and expressed a desire to start over from scratch.
2020 has been a confusing year at best.  When I did a podcast at the end of 2019 talking about 20/20 vision for 2020, we never could have foreseen what it has become.  Depending on your circumstances, the events of 2020 may have had little impact on your life or it could have derailed everything you were planning.  October is right around the corner and it is a good time to look ahead and plan for 2021. We may see 2021 as a big question mark at this point, but don’t let yourself become complacent and lose sight of your dreams.  Now more than ever we need to have a dream to look forward to, goals to set, and a vision for how we are going to get where we need to be.
It can start with being still and listening to the messages you are getting.  That is what happened to me.  For a period of time last month, I was getting messages from sermons, podcasts, things I read, and people I talked to about the importance of being connected with others, about being in community.  People who know me a little would think I was a very social person who thrived on being with others,  People who know me the best know that I can be introverted.  I realized that it is OK to be both and that I can value time alone or just with my wife and family, but that I also need desperately to be in community with others. That has been a challenge in 2020 with COVID-19, but there are ways that you can connect with others through technology.  This will pass eventually and we need to prepare ourselves to connect again with others face to face when it does.  It just isn’t the same using technology as it is being with others in person.
So the podcast episodes that will follow for a bit we will be talking about the importance of friends, connecting to others and being in community.  We will also talk about preparing for 2021 with a vision for what what we want to accomplish and a plan for how to get there.
Hebrews 10:24-25  24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
1 Peter 4:8-11  8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its var