Ownit! Powercast Mary Baker

In this episode, we delve into how childhood experiences shape avoidance behaviors in adulthood, particularly focusing on the roles of trauma and neglect. These early life experiences often teach individuals to avoid conflict, difficult emotions, and challenging situations as a means of coping and ensuring safety. Unfortunately, these avoidance behaviors can persist into adulthood, manifesting as people-pleasing tendencies, emotional dishonesty, and the suppression of true feelings. This can lead to significant emotional distress and strained relationships, as suppressed emotions eventually surface in unhealthy ways, such as lashing out.
We explore the psychological mechanisms behind these behaviors and offer practical strategies to overcome them. By understanding the roots of avoidance, we can begin to unravel these patterns and adopt healthier coping mechanisms. The episode provides insights into building self-awareness, developing emotional resilience, and the need for support to do this work.
Three Takeaways: 1.    Childhood Trauma and Neglect Influence Adult Behaviors:
Early traumatic experiences and neglect can teach children to avoid difficult situations and emotions as a survival mechanism. These avoidance behaviors often continue into adulthood, leading to challenges such as people-pleasing, emotional dishonesty, and the suppression of feelings.
2.    Avoidance Reinforces Fear and Anxiety:
Avoiding feared situations provides temporary relief but ultimately reinforces and perpetuates fear and anxiety. This cycle of avoidance can be broken through gradual exposure and facing fears in a controlled and safe manner, which helps reduce the power of these fears over time.
3.    Strategies for Overcoming Avoidance:
Developing self-awareness, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional support are crucial steps in overcoming avoidance behaviors. By building emotional resilience and learning healthy coping mechanisms, we can face their fears more effectively and lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.
 
 
 
The only way to conquer your fears is to face them, step by step. Each small victory builds the courage to tackle the next, until what once seemed insurmountable becomes a testament to your strength and resilience.
You can do this.
 
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
 
Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
 
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
 
 
Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
 
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com



 
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
 
 
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!
 

 
Today we introduce this month’s topic:  all the ways we avoid sitting with our feelings and facing truths that seem too overwhelming to confront. We'll explore the psychological mechanisms behind our avoidance behaviors, such as staying task-focused, fixating on others' needs, and using distractions to numb our emotions. By examining these patterns, we can better understand how avoidance often stems from a fear of facing our own shame and guilt, which can lead to chronic anxiety and a sense of disconnection from ourselves and those around us.
We also discuss the significant impact of avoidance on our mental and emotional well-being, highlighting the emotional toll of unresolved feelings and suppressed emotions. This episode provides practical strategies for breaking the cycle of avoidance and encourages listeners to embrace vulnerability and emotional honesty. By facing our feelings head-on, we can begin the journey towards self-awareness, healing, and stronger, more authentic relationships. Stay tuned in the coming weeks as we take some time – to face ourselves.
Key Takeaways:
Avoidance Fuels Anxiety: By consistently avoiding uncomfortable emotions and truths, we create a cycle of unresolved issues that leads to chronic anxiety and increased stress. Facing these feelings, though challenging, is essential for reducing anxiety and fostering emotional health. Impact on Relationships: Avoidance behaviors can create barriers to genuine connections with others, leading to superficial relationships and emotional disconnect. Embracing our emotions allows for deeper intimacy and understanding in our relationships. Emotional Toll of Suppression: Suppressed emotions can lead to a range of psychological and physical issues, including chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. Addressing and processing these feelings is crucial for maintaining overall well-being and preventing emotional burnout.  
 
 
Avoiding our own emotions
 makes it harder to be there
 for others because we're too
 wrapped up in our own struggles.
 
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
 
Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
 
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
 
 
Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
 
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com



 
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
 
 
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

In this episode we talk about the importance of maintaining your sense of self in relationships and avoiding the pitfalls of getting lost in crises created by others. We introduce a daily checklist designed to help you stay grounded and prioritize your well-being. Additionally, we explore how high cortisol levels, resulting from chronic stress, can impair your ability to stay in tune with your emotions and bodily needs. By recognizing these critical moments, or PINPOINTs, when you first fail to honor yourself, you can prevent a cascade of negative events and foster healthier relationships.
We tackle strategies for setting and enforcing personal boundaries, overcoming people-pleasing tendencies, and navigating conflicts without avoidance. We also discuss the significance of surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who respect your limits and encourage personal growth. By the end of the episode, you’ll have actionable insights and tools to help you maintain your identity and well-being in any relationship or situation.
Key Takeaways
Daily Checklist for Self-Care: Implementing a daily checklist that includes setting intentions, reviewing boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and reflecting on your interactions can help you stay grounded and maintain your sense of self in relationships. Impact of High Cortisol Levels: Chronic stress and high cortisol levels can impair your emotional awareness and decision-making abilities. Recognizing and managing stress is crucial for maintaining your well-being and staying connected to your needs and emotions. Identifying and Acting on PINPOINT Moments: Recognizing critical moments when you fail to honor yourself—PINPOINTs—allows you to prevent a cascade of negative events. By practicing mindfulness and self-awareness, you can better manage these moments and foster healthier, more balanced relationships.  
 
 
Spot the pinpoints—
those moments when
you first neglect yourself.
Recognizing these moments
is the key to preventing
a cascade of events
that lead to losing your
identity.
 
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
 
Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
 
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
 
 
Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
 
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com



 
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
 
 
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

In this episode we talk about the importance of being mindful about who we allow into our lives:
It’s crucial to be mindful about who we allow into our lives because the people around us significantly influence our thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being. Positive, supportive individuals can inspire growth, boost confidence, and encourage healthy habits, while negative, toxic people can drain energy, foster self-doubt, and hinder personal development. We need people who are strong enough to lean on, love us enough to tell us the truth, but also have the ability to detach and let us sit in our own truth, and have our own process.
Encouragement to Assess Relationships:
Take the time to assess your relationships and make conscious choices about the company you keep. Reflect on whether the people in your life support your growth, respect your boundaries, and contribute positively to your well-being. If you find that certain relationships are holding you back or causing harm, consider setting boundaries or seeking healthier connections.
By surrounding ourselves with people who inspire courage, positivity, and personal growth, we can create a supportive environment that fosters our well-being and helps us achieve our full potential.
 
1.     Choose Your Company Wisely:
·       The people you surround yourself with significantly impact your personal growth and well-being. Seek out individuals who are emotionally mature, supportive of your goals, and inspire you to be your best self.
2.     Set and Respect Boundaries:
·       Establishing and maintaining personal boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships. Clear boundaries protect your emotional health, prevent burnout, and ensure mutual respect and understanding.
3.     Embrace People Who Are Open-Minded and Courageous:
·       Look for those who foster a mindset of open-mindedness and courage. Being open to new ideas and perspectives, and overcoming fear-based behaviors, creates a positive and dynamic environment where both you and your relationships can thrive.
 
 
 
Growth-minded friends
are the catalysts that ignite
our journey towards
becoming our best selves.
 
 
 
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
 
Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
 
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
 
 
Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
 
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com



 
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
 
 
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

In this episode, we sit down with Emily Cleghorn, an award-winning Trauma Recovery Coach, author, podcaster, and inspirational speaker. Emily is dedicated to helping trauma-surviving mothers navigate the challenges of parenting while healing from their own childhood traumas. With a deep passion for creating positive, lasting impacts for future generations, Emily shares her personal journey of overcoming the shadows cast by her trauma. Her inspiring story and practical insights empower mothers to break free from their past and become the nurturing parents they aspire to be.
 
Emily, a mother of two young children, understands firsthand the complexities of parenting while managing trauma triggers. She has channeled her experiences into her latest book, "Rising from the Ashes," which offers valuable guidance and support to mothers on a similar path. Throughout this episode, Emily discusses her approach to trauma recovery, the importance of self-care, and strategies for managing triggers and tantrums in daily life. To learn more about Emily's work and how to connect with her, visit Mended Mama Life.
 
Key Takeaways:
Healing is Possible: Emily emphasizes that it is possible to heal from childhood trauma while being an effective and loving parent. Her own journey serves as a powerful example of this transformation.
 
Managing Triggers: Emily provides practical advice on how to recognize and manage triggers that arise in the context of parenting, helping mothers create a calmer and more nurturing environment for their children.
 
Self-Care is Essential: Emily highlights the importance of self-care for trauma-surviving mothers, emphasizing that taking care of oneself is crucial for being able to care for one's children effectively.
 
Self-care isn't a luxury for
 trauma-surviving mothers; it's essential.
Taking time for yourself enables you
 to be the best parent you can be.
 
Emily Cleghorn: https://home.mendedmamalife.ca/
 
Check out her podcast there too!
https://home.mendedmamalife.ca/blog
 
Her new book Rising From the Ashes: Reclaiming your Life After a Traumatic Childhood is on Amazon:  https://a.co/d/ftNFliz
 
   
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
 
Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
 
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
 
 
Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
 
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com



 
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
 
 
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

In this episode, I am thrilled to have Jason Lange, a men's embodiment coach and group facilitator, share his invaluable insights into the transformative power of men's groups. With over two decades of experience, Jason has worked alongside leaders like John Wineland and Dr. Robert Glover, honing his approach to helping men find clarity in their life's purpose and relationships. He advocates strongly for men’s participation in men’s groups, emphasizing their role in fostering personal growth, enhancing intimate relationships, and contributing positively to family and community dynamics. During our conversation, Jason discusses the profound impact these groups have had on his life and why he believes every man should join one to experience similar transformative benefits.
Jason's perspective is particularly compelling as he addresses the common emotional voids many men face, including unresolved father wounds and a general lack of supportive spaces for emotional expression and healing. Throughout the interview, he offers wisdom on what men truly need to thrive and how men's groups can serve as crucial platforms for learning, growth, and healing. This discussion is not just for men but is also vital for women to understand the struggles men often face in silence. Be sure to pass this episode along to help spread Jason's powerful message. Also, check out Jason's podcast, Evolutionary Men, for more insights into men's personal development.
Key Takeaways:
1.     Supportive Networks: Jason Lange highlights the importance of men's groups in providing a support network that allows men to explore and heal emotional wounds, particularly those related to paternal relationships.
2.     Empowerment Through Community: Men’s groups empower participants by promoting healthier expressions of emotions, which leads to more vital intimate partnerships and a greater ability to serve family and community.
3.     Inclusivity in Understanding: This episode is essential not just for men, but also for women, to foster a deeper understanding of the unique challenges men face and the potential pathways to addressing these issues through community support.
 
Groups are
a place to grow,
a sanctuary where we are
 seen, heard, and supported
 in our deepest vulnerabilities.
 
Jason Lange: https://evolutionary.men/
Check out his podcast there too!
https://evolutionary.men/podcast-evolutionary-men-lead-in-life-and-love/
 
 
 
Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!
If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!
 
Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:
 
https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words
 
 
Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out:
https://findyourvoicecourse.com/
 
Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com



 
Resources:
Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143
 
 
Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week.
Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!