Horizontal with Lila is the podcast of intimate conversations about sex, love, and relationships that's entirely recorded while lying down. Many of the episodes are recorded in bed at Hacienda Villa, a sex-positive intentional community in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Others are recorded while horizontal elsewhere.
118. probably the slowest sex i’ve ever had: horizontal with radical self love (3 of 4)
Hello horizontal lover. horizontal is the podcast about intimacy of all kinds, recorded while lying down.
You’re listening to Season 4, my Season of Experiments. During this season, I’m playing with form and format, length and structure, context and content. I’ll be including mash-ups with other podcasts, themed episodes, crossovers, and shows with segments, among other things. Unlike the first three seasons, most of Season 4 will be recorded remotely, so I’m often horizontal across the world from my guest … which is a grand experiment in itself.
This is part three of my 4-episode arc with Kelsey Grant: Love Educator, boundaries expert, writer, singer, witchy woman, & creatrix of various kinds… known on Instagram as @radicalselflove.
Usually, my horizontal recording sessions are between 3 and 5 hours long, and divided into two parts (if 3 hours) or 4 parts (if 5). The first installment — or the first two installments — are available in all the podcast places for all horizontalists, and the second half — or the latter two parts — are available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts. One of my experiments with Kelsey’s arc is to divvy things up a bit differently. In this case, my first and third episode with Kelsey (which are episodes 116, and this installment, 118) are available to everyone, and the second and fourth are available exclusively to patrons.
There’s also a bonus sort of grab bag stream-of-consciousness episode we recorded that I’m considering releasing in full as a bonus episode for patrons, or, also in two parts. To be determined, horizontal lovers…
For access to The Full Horizontal, which includes all the part twos (or in this case, twos and fours) going back to the beginning, become a patron of the horizontal arts by navigating directly to patreon.com/horizontalwithlila
Use that link precisely because creators dubbed “adult” are hidden by Patreon’s search engine. When you become a patron, I also send you a personal thank-you video (with a Happy Dance).
In part one, episode 116. planet friendship (my first episode that’s almost entirely about platonic intimacy) we talked about her nourishing female friend pod and 6-month vetting process, mother-wounds, getting kicked out of the house, emotional release, resisting the codependent parental undertow, & how Kelsey and her best friend heal by re-parenting each other.
In part two, episode 117. an emotionally safe connection (a patron-only episode), we discussed my best friend Marghe, inner circle friendship, virtual and in-person connection, the ability to hold simultaneous conflicting emotions, Harry Potter and nerding out, & the masterful, loving way Kelsey expressed her boundaries to me.
In this, part three, we deliberately got horizontal to talk about sex. We explored cervical, g-spot, and clitoral orgasms, devotional presence and the lack thereof, fantasizing about women during sex, self-reverence, Kelsey’s sexual evolution, from getting kicked out of the house to her Huntress phase to exploration with a virgin to going off the pill to kink to cervical orgasms & betrayal, to self-exploration & crystal dildos.
If you’d like one-on-one guidance from me on your intimate struggles, I now offer Personal Intimacy Roadmap Sessions: 60-minute sessions with a takeaway plan. In other words, sex-positive, judgement-free, compassionate support for what ails you in the realm of sex, love, & relationships of all kinds.
To schedule, email firstname.lastname@example.org. If you desire ongoing support of your intimate growth, join the $100 Patreon tier on Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila, and receive a 30-minute coaching session every month!
In next week’s patrons-only episode with Kelsey, we delve into sex that disturbs the neighbors, woundmates and heartmates, the runner & the chaser, dating with intention, the fantasy o
planet friendship: horizontal with radical self love (1 of 4)
In this and the following 3 episodes, I lie down with the delicious Kelsey Grant. Kelsey is a Love Educator, an incisive writer, a boundaries expert, a singer, and a powerfully tender woman. She has a generous laugh, and her wisdom is free of b******t.
In my first experiment with Kelsey, we discuss nourishing female friendship, mother-wounds, getting kicked out of the house, emotional release & the neighbors, swamping, resisting the codependent parental undertow, & healing by re-parenting each other.
other people’s love: horizontal with a global matchmaker (2 of 4)
This is the second episode of my four-part arc with Lemarc Thomas, global matchmaker and relationship expert.
We discuss the differences between traditional matchmaking and Lemarc’s work, his 4-step process, love coaching vs. therapy, being our full rainbow & sharing our crazy, how to not to date like a teenager, non-negotiables & deal-breakers, cultivating communities that will hold the love we meet, The Matchmaking Experiment, becoming a matchmaker, and his signature love advice.
broken a few hearts: horizontal with a global matchmaker (1 of 4)
In the first four episodes of Season 4, I virtually lie down with Lemarc Thomas, global matchmaker, relationship expert, sweetheart, psychology-versed purveyor of kindness, native St. Helenian, marriage equality advocate, husband to Michael, and, as he has been dubbed by The Telegraph, “the gentle but determined Cupid.”
In this, my first horizontal experiment with Lemarc, he interviews me as though I were his newest matchmaking client.
Black men can’t drive: quickie with an actor / writer / singer / director / educator
In this quickie, I lie down with Christopher Burris. Christopher Burris is an actor, director and visionary creative from Asheville, North Carolina.
In this episode, Christopher tells us a story about driving while Black, his best friend Satchmo, a Sponge Bob car, contact lenses, relationshipping, & really, really seeing.
Come lie down with us in Bushwick, Brooklyn, for a story Christopher titled, “Black Men Can’t Drive.”
love who you love: horizontal with indonesia’s openly LGBTQ+ singer-songwriter [1 of 2]
I lie down with Kai Mata, thoughtful rock star, articulate activist, outspoken woman with a bamboo guitar living a love life of liberation in a country that expects its women to be neither outspoken nor liberated.
We talk about falling in love for the first time (and with a girl), coming out before she was ready, a fateful spring break, PDA in Indonesia, modesty, menstruation, temples, & tampons, illegal sex toys, and the fact that our current sexual partners don’t define our sexual orientation.