Introvert Attraction ~ Love, Dating, & Relationships Jillie Leclair

Today marks TWO big milestones for our podcast community: We’re wrapping up Season 3 with Episode #50 of the podcast, AND we’re celebrating the 1 year anniversary since starting this podcast journey together!

As I’ve reflected on Season 3 of the podcast, I’ve noticed the theme of how important it is for introverts to integrate our internal and external worlds.

For introverts it is the challenge of a lifetime to connect and integrate between our internal selves and the people we have relationships with.

While introverts are often able to connect with and understand the perspectives of other people, our secret weapon as introverts is *self* understanding.

I truly believe that we can achieve a balance between our efforts to empathize with other people’s perspectives, while also nurturing and prioritizing our own self-understanding.

For Season 4, we’ll be exploring many different tools that you can use to understand yourself better. As you reach deeper levels of understanding about yourself, your brain, the ways that you see and navigate the world, and how you prioritize your decisions, you progressively become stronger and unlock the ability to supercharge your relationships.

I truly believe that if you dedicate the time and energy to understanding yourself and to building your internal foundation, that it lays the groundwork to quantum leap and to transform your efforts into a massive multiplication of results in a short amount of time.

In Season 4 we’ll be sharing all of the different resources, tools, books, and practical knowledge to help introverts leverage their full potential when it comes to relationships, personal development, and inner work.

Three of my favorite tools for understanding yourself on a deeper level include MBTI, Enneagram, and Human Design. I am SO excited to explore these topics further with you in Season 4!

Join the Introvert Attraction Podcast Newsletter to receive updates when Season 4 begins! 

Thank you sooo much for coming along with us on your introvert journey! I can't wait for us to unlock new levels of self-discovery, personal growth, and connected relationships together soon! 

Note: I realized that I mistakenly referenced Season 2 rather than Season 3 throughout this episode, time really flies!! :) 

Can't wait to see you in a few weeks!! ~Jillie🌟
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Free Resources:

Download your free Dating Profile 3 Step Magic Formula guide

Apply for Attraction Magic ~ 1:1 Dating Coaching with Jillie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Connect:

Instagram: introvertattraction

Email: jillie@introvertattraction.com

Here are the highlights of today's episode:

0:00 | Introduction

2:25 | Introvert brains are like vacuum cleaners: We take in many different sources of information from the outside world, and we need time alone in order to process, understand, and integrate information between our internal and external worlds

3:45 | Introverts often feel misunderstood (especially if you grew up in a home environment without enough time or space for self-reflection and internal processing)

5:10 | Even if your childhood was not significantly stressful or traumatic, there are many different circumstances in which you may have felt you needed to live up to the expectations of others in order to prove your worth. This can create a type of survival mode where you're trained to look for other people to tell you what's best for you

9:15 | Once you grow up and reach adulthood, it's common for introverts to go through an existential crisis and realize you don't know yourself as an individual

11:25 | Sometimes you need to go through difficult crashes: It forces you to take inventory of who you are, what matters to you, and who you want to become

13:55 | Introverts need to schedule alone time to balance building a strong internal foundation while also connecting with people in the world around you. Building that foundation of inner work is the first step to navigating life from a place of internal strength, and to break the cycle of emotional survival mode

14:35 | Introversion is more than "needing time to recharge your social battery”: You need to have time alone in order to fully process and understand the world around you, and to learn the lessons needed to *grow* rather than to just survive

18:20 | Self-reflection challenge: Did you grow up in a family where your internal world was acknowledged and valued? Were you encouraged to make your own decisions without being shamed for being different than other people? Were you forced to ignore your internal world because you walked on eggshells with your parents?

19:50 | All of these can lead to a type of survival mode where you’re unable to dedicate time, energy, and attention to your internal world, or where you’re forced to ignore it because you’re so busy managing the demands and expectations of the world and people around you

20:30 | Setting time aside to build your internal foundation (and using different tools to understand how your brain processes information, prioritizes decisions, and interacts with the world) gives you a framework to start integrating with the world around you

Understanding your own unique operating system that you use to navigate the world leads to you becoming more effective at leveraging it and reaching your potential.

Come join our introvertattraction community on Instagram and share your own story, we’d love to have you there!🙌

Keep staying strong on your own journey navigating the dating world! You’ve got this! 

Can't wait to see you next week!! ~Jillie🌟
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Free Resources:

Download your free Dating Profile 3 Step Magic Formula guide

Apply for Attraction Magic ~ 1:1 Dating Coaching with Jillie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Connect:

Instagram: introvertattraction

Email: jillie@introvertattraction.com

Here are the highlights of today's episode:

0:00 | Introduction

2:30 | Is it normal to experience highs and lows in the beginning of a relationship?

4:00 | The anxious-avoidant attachment often manifests as a strong chemistry and intense attraction in the beginning after meeting someone

Once the physical chemistry fades, it’s time to build *meaningful* intimacy and connection, which requires emotional regulation, emotional maturity, effective communication, and being open to vulnerability and the "scary" parts of emotional intimacy

5:55 | People with avoidant attachment are afraid of failure and often feel self-conscious about their difficulty with emotional connection; they respond to those normal fears by pushing people away and creating emotional *distance* instead of emotional *connection*

6:30 | People with anxious attachment are more likely to turn toward and attempt to “close the gap” with emotional intimacy: This is what starts the push-pull dynamic and sparks the “thrill of the chase” with the emotional highs and lows present in the early stages of a relationship

7:00 | Research shows that over time we start to associate stress hormones (adrenaline, epinephrine, cortisol) and the feelings that they create with our experience of love and intermittent connection, followed by feelings of heartbreak, numbness, and disappointment

8:00 | This can lead people with anxious attachment to be drawn to people who are emotionally unavailable or avoidant, because we’ve learned to associate stress hormones with feelings of love and connection

11:30 | These relationships often end dramatically or sometimes with being ghosted, leaving you feeling abandoned and empty

12:00 | If you go through these relationship cycles repeatedly, your brain and nervous system start to associate these familiar cycles with safety and you’ll keep feeling drawn to that similar pattern, which leads to anxiety and intuition sending you warning messages to try and jolt you out of it

14:15 | A deep-seated fear of rejection and low self-worth often keep you coming back to these types of emotional rollercoaster relationships (followed by beating yourself up that you “should have known better” after the crash)

16:10 | Getting in touch with your authentic emotional needs and your true self helps you to connect with new choices, and to explore new possibilities of what an emotionally mature type of love could look like for you

Come join our introvertattraction community on Instagram and share your own story, we’d love to have you there!🙌  

Keep staying strong on your own journey navigating the dating world! You’ve got this! 

Can't wait to see you next week!! ~Jillie🌟 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Free Resources:

Download your free Dating Profile 3 Step Magic Formula guide

Apply for Attraction Magic ~ 1:1 Dating Coaching with Jillie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Connect:

Instagram: introvertattraction

Email: jillie@introvertattraction.com

Here are the highlights of today's episode:

0:00 | Introduction

1:15 | Anxiety is a common experience when learning how to set boundaries and communicate needs, especially if you have a history of people-pleasing or past trauma

3:00 | Many INFJs feel significant anxiety when expressing needs in relationships, especially when other people react negatively

4:55 | You can learn how to view intuition and anxiety as messengers and tools in your relationships, and you can teach yourself how to interpret and respond to them in a constructive way

8:20 | Don’t shoot the messenger: Anxiety is not a bad omen or something to be resisted. Instead, you can *listen* to what it tells you without immediately *reacting* to it and treating it as a singular objective fact about a situation

9:50 | Personifying anxiety and intuition: They are messengers sharing a perspective from your past. You don’t want to deny that part of yourself, because it was real

“We are a composition of our lived experiences... if you deny that part of yourself, you are creating more fragmentation and shadow."

11:40 | You can acknowledge and respect anxiety's message from your past, but you can only create a different future by making different choices. We must learn how to acknowledge and honor our past without allowing it to become our future

15:10 | The two most common responses to anxiety: Either blindly believing it as objective fact, or shooting the messenger to resist and turn against it (because you’re too uncomfortable to listen)

18:40 | One of the reasons why intuition and anxiety become so loud is because we consistently ignore them and reject our true selves

20:30 | Valuing and respecting your intuition and anxiety means that they are no longer enemies you’re defending against: Instead they become companions and fellow travelers, who support and guide you on your journey of self-discovery and personal growth

Come join our introvertattraction community on Instagram and share your own story, we’d love to have you there!🙌 

Keep staying strong on your own journey navigating the dating world! You’ve got this! 

Can't wait to see you next week!! ~Jillie🌟 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Free Resources:

Download your free Dating Profile 3 Step Magic Formula guide

Apply for Attraction Magic ~ 1:1 Dating Coaching with Jillie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Connect:

Instagram: introvertattraction

Email: jillie@introvertattraction.com

Here are the highlights of today's episode:

0:00 | Introduction

1:25 | What are the differences between intuition and anxiety? It’s easy to confuse one with the other, and they often travel together when we're making decisions

4:15 | What are the similarities between intuition and anxiety? They both can manifest as a deep-seated feeling that something “isn’t right”, and they often are not logical or rational (which makes introverts reluctant to share our experiences with them)

8:40 | Intuition is a subjective, personal experience. Personally, I view intuition and anxiety as messengers and sources of information that are open to interpretation

9:30 | The way that you respond to intuition can cause secondary feelings of anxiety, especially when you are betraying what you know deep down is right for you

11:00 | If you’ve trained yourself to ignore your intuition, it's an ongoing process for you to become familiar with listening to your intuitive voice and to “know what it really means”

12:30 | Anxiety can be a sneaky “false messenger" disguising itself as intuition when you are dating someone new, especially if you’ve been hurt before (as a means to try and protect yourself)

15:45 | Personally: When I take action in response to intuition things feel easier, while taking action out of anxiety increases feelings of resistance

17:35 | Actions from anxiety often come from self-preservation and self-protection, and often feel reactive and automatic

18:20 | Intuition speaks more softly and it doesn’t necessarily say its message more than once, whereas anxiety is much louder, more persistent, and demands attention

19:50 | Intuition feels like a guide that you can choose to follow, whereas anxiety is louder and more controlling

23:25 | Learning to have the type of relationship with your intuition and anxiety that you would want to have with a partner: 1) Allowing the situation to unfold as its happening without resistance, and 2) Learning how to *communicate* your feelings rather than trying to suppress or *control* them

24:15 | If you receive a signal telling you to act in a certain way, to achieve an expectation, or to cause a person to respond differently: That is anxiety, NOT intuition

Intuition is for YOU: It is not dependent on the outcome, nor is it dependent on how other people respond.

25:30 | Taking action from a place of anxiety is giving away your power. Intuition always brings your power back to you.

Come join our introvertattraction community on Instagram and share your own story, we’d love to have you there!🙌 

Keep staying strong on your own journey navigating the dating world! You’ve got this! 

Can't wait to see you next week!! ~Jillie🌟 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Free Resources:

Download your free Dating Profile 3 Step Magic Formula guide

Apply for Attraction Magic ~ 1:1 Dating Coaching with Jillie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Connect:

Instagram: introvertattraction

Email: jillie@introvertattraction.com

Here are the highlights of today's episode: 

0:00 | Introduction 

1:25 | Past relationship mistakes can bring the most growth in the future: Embracing your shadow allows you to move forward with self-acceptance rather than shame 

3:10 | Only YOU can define your self-worth: Being dependent on other people’s validation leads to becoming a social chameleon, which means you are sacrificing parts of yourself in order to receive love 

4:55 | Rejecting parts of yourself often comes from childhood: The parts of you that were minimized or frowned upon as a child are often the same parts that *you* reject and minimize in *yourself* as an adult 

5:25 | Suppressing your true personality and identity leads to a loss of your own self-worth, which makes you vulnerable to rejection and being controlled by the decisions of other people 

6:25 | The goal is to invest your efforts *internally* into your intuition, authenticity, and valuing who you are, and then allowing other people to make their own decisions about whether they’re attracted to you 

9:05 | Investing your energy into micro-managing people’s decisions, perceptions, and behaviors ultimately leads to your own disempowerment (and further fuels the fear of rejection) 

10:50 | Challenge: Assess where you are investing your energy, effort, and intentions:
Are you seeking external validation?Are you suppressing your own uniqueness?Are you trying to act a certain way in order to be accepted or approved of?What are the areas (or people) you've noticed are draining your energy and power?
⬆️ Start to make some withdrawals from those areas, and invest that energy back into your own self and things you *can* control: Authentic self-expression, trusting your intuition, and showing up unapologetically. 

12:05 | As a byproduct of investing your energy into yourself: You radiate confidence and self-assuredness, which are incredibly attractive!

12:55 | Allowing other people to make their own decisions based on whether they’re attracted to the REAL you means that your self-worth is not tied to their response, which makes you more resilient in the face of rejection

15:00 | Dating becomes more exciting when you no longer view rejection as a threat to your self-worth! This allows you to view life through the lens of opportunity, rather than moving through life trying to protect yourself from other people’s beliefs and perceptions about you

Come join our introvertattraction community on Instagram and share your own story, we’d love to have you there!🙌  

Keep staying strong on your own journey navigating the dating world! You’ve got this! 

Can't wait to see you next week!! ~Jillie🌟
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Free Resources:

Download your free Dating Profile 3 Step Magic Formula guide

Apply for Attraction Magic ~ 1:1 Dating Coaching with Jillie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Connect:

Instagram: introvertattraction

Email: jillie@introvertattraction.com