Couply Podcast Couply: The App for Couples

Elaine Hoan, a researcher studying singlehood and wellbeing, discusses the trends and factors affecting singles.

She explores the question of who has better sex, singles or partnered people, and explains that research suggests partnered people tend to have higher quality and more frequent sex.

Elaine also highlights the rising rates of unmarried individuals and the reasons why people are choosing to stay single, including career goals and economic factors. She delves into the personality traits of singles, such as introversion, lower conscientiousness, and higher neuroticism, and emphasizes that happiness should not be the sole measure of a meaningful life.

The conversation explores the cultural value of extroversion, interpreting low energy responses, not taking things personally, tips for introverted singles, meeting partners through hobbies and interests, Elaine's origin story of meeting her partner through a video game and the impact of online communities on relationships.

Connect with Elaine
https://twitter.com/elaine_hoan?lang=en

Download Couply
https://couply.page.link/podcast
The best couples app to help your relationship. Couples quizzes, ask a new question every day and a long-distance mode to keep you connected. We have a TON of FREE content to help you build trust, improve communication and invest in your relationship skills.

Chapters

00:00 Introductions
00:09 Researching Singles and Sex
03:19 Trends in Singleness and Wellness
04:11 Reasons for Choosing Singleness
05:29 Economic Benefits and Discrimination
07:28 Personality Types and Singleness
15:07 Personality Profile of Singles
26:33 Using Personality Traits to Navigate Singleness
28:14 The Cultural Value of Extroversion
29:00 Interpreting Low Energy Responses
30:26 Not Taking Things Personally
32:29 Tips for Introverted Singles
33:24 Meeting Partners through Hobbies and Interests
34:04 Elaine's got game: Meeting Her Partner through the League of Legends Video Game
36:47 The Impact of Online Communities on Relationships
43:44 Gender Differences in Happiness
46:24 The Emotional Intelligence Challenge for Men
54:39 The Impact of Technology and Online Communities on Singleness
59:06 Elaine's Personal Journey: Meeting a Partner through League of Legends


TLDR: Takeaways

Partnered people tend to have higher quality and more frequent sex compared to singles.

The number of unmarried individuals is rising globally, and people are choosing to stay single for various reasons, including career goals and economic factors.

Singles tend to have different personality traits, such as introversion, lower conscientiousness, and higher neuroticism, but this does not mean their lives are less meaningful.

Happiness should not be the sole measure of a meaningful life, and singles can navigate their singleness by understanding their personality traits and focusing on what brings them fulfillment.

Extroverted people tend to be happier in various cultures, and there is a cultural value placed on extroversion.

Interpreting low energy responses from others can be challenging, but it's important not to take it personally and consider other factors.

Being single does not mean there is something wrong with you, and it's important to focus on personal well-being!
For introverted singles, getting involved in hobbies and interests can be a great way to meet potential partners.
Technology and online communities can facilitate connections and relationships, but it's important to be cautious and maintain in-person interactions.
Gender differences exist in happiness, with women generally reporting higher levels of happiness when single.
Men face challenges in developing emotional intelligence and social skills, which can impact their relationships.
The impact of technology on singleness is complex, with potential benefits and risks.
Personal experiences of meeting partners through technology can vary, and trust and communication are crucial in online relationships.


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Aleeza Ben Shalom, a matchmaker and relationship coach, shares insights on moving from matchmaking to finding clarity in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of getting real, getting married, and staying married. Aleeza discusses the initial signs and feelings that indicate potential in a relationship, highlighting the need to look beyond immediate chemistry. She suggests focusing on shared values, aligned personalities, and the ability to handle each other's fears and quirks. Aleeza also advises setting a timeline for making a commitment and emphasizes the significance of small gestures and qualities in a partner. In this conversation, Aleeza Ben Shalom discusses the challenges of making decisions about relationships and finding a soulmate. She emphasizes the importance of soulmate clarity, which involves understanding one's values, needs, and goals, and comparing them to those of the person one is dating. Aleeza also highlights the time pressure many people feel when it comes to finding a partner and starting a family. She provides insights into deal breakers in relationships and advises accepting a partner as they are, without expecting them to change. Aleeza shares tips for maintaining a strong bond in a relationship, including playfulness, communication, and creating special moments together. She also talks about the balance between her public persona and her personal life, and the importance of prioritizing quality time with her husband.



Keywords



matchmaking, finding clarity, relationship, marriage, shared values, aligned personalities, fears, quirks, commitment, small gestures, relationship decisions, soulmate clarity, time pressure, deal breakers, accepting a partner, maintaining a strong bond, playfulness, communication, balance



Chapters



00:00 Introduction to Aleeza Ben Shalom

01:01 Moving from matchmaking to finding clarity

01:32 Initial signs and feelings when meeting someone

03:27 Signs that indicate a potential lifelong relationship

04:39 The danger of trying to change someone

05:09 The importance of early judgments and snap decisions

06:11 The warning sign of immediate chemistry

08:44 The importance of taking time to make a decision

11:25 The different phases of a relationship

13:13 The timeline for making a decision

15:03 The scarcity of finding a compatible partner

16:23 The importance of valuing and appreciating your partner

23:44 The importance of small gems in a relationship

25:10 Creating diamonds in a relationship under pressure

27:31 Common doubts and cracks in relationships

28:58 Feeling Pressure to Make a Decision

30:35 Soulmate Clarity

32:43 The Grass is Always Greener

34:38 Deal Breakers

38:11 The Good and the Other

41:49 Black Flags and Red Flags

44:11 Keeping the Bond Strong

48:17 Balancing Fame and Relationship

52:31 What's Next for Aleeza








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Rachel and Stacey, the Decoding Couples duo, discuss common challenges in relationships, such as feeling unseen and unheard, and living in different realities. They emphasize the importance of understanding attachment styles and how they shape our relationships. They also provide insights on effective communication, including taking self-inflicted timeouts and taking responsibility for our own actions. Repairing arguments and conflicts is crucial, and they recommend owning up to our mistakes and showing genuine remorse. Listeners can follow them on Instagram and listen to their podcast, as well as explore their online course, Relationship Roadmap.

Meet the Decoding Couple Duo:
Youtube  @decodingcouples 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/decoding_couples/
Courses and content: https://snipfeed.co/decodingcouples

Download Couply
https://couply.page.link/podcast

Takeaways

One of the most common challenges in relationships is feeling unseen and unheard by our partner.
Living in different realities can occur when there are small transgressions and a lack of repair in the relationship.
Attachment styles formed in childhood greatly influence our adult relationships and can trigger positive or negative attachment patterns.
Self-inflicted timeouts can be effective in managing conflicts, but it's important to communicate the intention and timeframe for the timeout.
Taking responsibility for our own actions and showing genuine remorse is crucial for repairing arguments and conflicts in relationships.


Keywords

relationship challenges, feeling unseen and unheard, different realities, attachment styles, effective communication, self-inflicted timeouts, taking responsibility, repairing arguments, online course

Chapters

00:00 Introduction
00:45 Common challenges in relationships
03:02 Steps leading to living in different realities
06:41 The role of attachment in relationships
08:04 The cycle of communication
11:25 The communication chart
13:30 Real-life examples of communication cycles
16:57 Repairing after an argument
20:23 Understanding your attachment style
23:08 Self-regulation and self-soothing
25:23 Creating timeouts in communication
30:40 Repairing after a hard conversation
32:30 Upcoming events and where to find more


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Summary

In this conversation, Tim Johnson interviews Keeley Rankin, a sex and relationship coach, about male performance issues. They discuss the three main male performance struggles: premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction.



Reach her here: https://www.keeleyrankin.com/



Keeley explains that early ejaculation is often caused by anxiety and teaches clients how to be present in their bodies and let arousal flow. Delayed orgasm is a complex issue related to trust, fantasy, and touch. Erectile dysfunction can be caused by performance pressure, relationship issues, or medical factors. Keeley also mentions the impact of porn use and the importance of learning what feels pleasurable. In this conversation, Keeley Rankin and Tim Johnson discuss the challenges and experiences of men with erectile dysfunction (ED) and early ejaculation. They explore the importance of communication and understanding in relationships, the impact of societal expectations and pressures, and the need for self-reflection and personal growth. Keeley shares her five-step method for addressing early ejaculation, which includes breathwork, connecting with sensations in the body, and exploring fantasies. They also touch on the role of trust and the potential impact of childhood experiences on sexual struggles. Keeley emphasizes the importance of expanding one's toolkit and finding pleasure in the entire body.



Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Stories

00:51 Exploring Sexuality and Overcoming Intimacy Issues

02:38 The Impact of Sex Events and Workshops

04:48 The Importance of Open Conversations about Sex

07:43 Society's Views on Sex and the Need for Education

09:11 The Desire for More Adventure in the Bedroom

10:49 Exploring Sexual Fantasies

13:59 Understanding Male Performance Issues

16:25 Causes and Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction

23:27 Causes and Solutions for Premature Ejaculation

25:47 Causes and Solutions for Delayed Ejaculation

33:33 Tips for Men and Partners Dealing with Erectile Dysfunction

35:32 Opening up the conversation about attraction and desire

36:30 The implications of not getting an erection

39:24 The five-step method for addressing early ejaculation

46:47 Sensation categories and connecting with the body

50:08 The need for new tools in sexual relationships

55:51 Trust issues and delayed ejaculation

56:47 Upcoming course and conclusion

58:27 Couply Outro - SD 480p.mp4



Keywords

male performance issues, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, trust, fantasy, touch, porn use, pleasure, erectile dysfunction, early ejaculation, communication, relationships, societal expectations, pressures, self-reflection, personal growth, breathwork, sensations, fantasies, trust, childhood experiences, pleasure.


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Kiersty is a therapist and content creator.



You can discover her at @Ikarus_mind on instagram and her website www.ikarusmind.com



In this episode we talk about values, communication and answer some of the Couply community member questions.



00:00 Introduction and Background

00:53 Unburdening: Working with People Who Were Dying

03:55 Finding Meaning and Purpose in Life

10:08 Values and Communication

18:01 Triggers and Interpretation

26:08 Blame Cycles and Repetitive Patterns

32:56 Breaking Out of Blame Cycles

34:21 The Power of Acknowledgment, Recognition, and Action

35:23 Balancing Feelings and Actions

36:10 The Stories We Tell Ourselves

37:09 The Impact of Jealousy and Accusations

38:12 Internalizing Stories and Beliefs

39:21 The Influence of Stories on Actions

40:15 Resolving Deeply Held Patterns and Limiting Beliefs

41:37 The Impact of Limiting Beliefs on Relationships

42:20 The Power of Beliefs in Dating

43:16 Chores and Relationship Patterns

44:43 Creating Accountability and Clear Expectations

47:21 The Importance of Organization and Communication in Relationships

49:32 Choosing Your Battles and Effective Communication

51:53 Addressing Issues in a Relationship

58:49 Dealing with a Partner Who is Unwilling to Change


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Jason VanRuler is a licensed therapist, coach, author and content creator who helps people to have the relationships they most desire and utilizes their past as a tool for their future.



His book: Get Past Your Past: How Facing Your Broken Places Leads to True Connection is a fantastic read.



Chapters:



00:00 Introduction and Book Release

03:39 Realizations and Moving Forward

06:11 The Importance of Expressing Feelings

09:21 The Impact of Childhood Experiences on Relationships

13:13 The Value We Assign to Ourselves

19:25 Dealing with Rock Bottom

23:39 The Consequences of Stifling Feelings

26:28 The Importance of Self-Forgiveness

29:26 Love as a Ferrari or a Bear

33:35 The Complexity of Relationships

38:26 Acceptance and Change in Relationships

39:44 The Flip Side of What We Want

42:19 The Power of Community

43:03 Dramatic Changes vs. Long-Term Growth

44:19 Courage and External Validation




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