Don't Be An Idiom Don't Be An Idiom

Episode 90: Have you ever ridden your bicycle through the woods and heard the paper-crinkle sound of two husks of men stumbling over the detritus of a thousand seasons reaching towards your back wheel? And when you look back, you aren't even freaked out or concerned just completely bewildered by the spectacle because you've never seen such shells of men before with sunken eyes and lizard grey skin? And you quickly realize that these unfortunate entities are not after your bicycle wheels or brand new Wellingtons but are instead ravenous for your satchel of eggs which you have foolishly let hang down well below your waist? And although you can't be sure, you know if you bear witness to the consumption of these eggs by these two worthless wraiths, it just might make you so sick that you could never eat an egg again? Well if so, then this episode is a lot like that and you can rest assured that you've already been around the block and know what's about to go down. So give in to Episode 90 and celebrate another ten episodes with Albert and Ryan with a wee toast. We promise to get you back in bed by 8pm sharp where you can be as snug as a bug in a rug.

Episode 89: Upsa-daisy, biscuits and gravy, mama’s in the kitchen with the Michelin baby. Papa’s in the woodshed, he can’t stop...sharpening his ax for the Gordian knot. Onesie, twosie, threesie, foursie, tax man’s knocking at the doorsie. Mama throws the gravy in his face; Papa swings his ax and their debt’s erased! Enjoy episode eighty-ninezy. It’s a doozy!

If it's April 1st, it must be time for another serving of Let's Get A Strombo—the only podcast dedicated to the tastiest pizza shop treat this side of the Marinara River. With the bells to prove it, the boys have put in the work and not only surfed a wave of agita over the past few weeks, but delved into the deepest pools of philosophy surrounding the famed strombo. You'll hear so much about strombos, you might need to pause to get the grease out o' your ears! So loosen that belt and hit play for it is time to get a strombo.

Episode 88: Horsefeathers! Episode 88 already? I say, I say, where does the time go? The boys are back, tight, and rock hard with a FULL episode…song and everything! We were feeling like the low man on the totem pole there for a minute, but we’re back on top now baby! But is that actually a good thing? Listen now and find out.

Episode 87: When in Rome, do as the Romans do...and this week Albert and Ryan visited Sickboy Land where two customs reign supreme: delay releasing one's podcast and run out of time to write an end-of-the-episode song. However, the boys ain't the type to draw legs on a snake and thought it best to give the people what they've got—which is one bebop zoomin' episode that'll make you cover your face in bees and straddle a hog. You can be sure that by the end of the hour you'll be thieving pizza and scream-slobbering at your grandmother about the audacity of the Holy Trinity! Speaking of holy trinities, we are now accepting mail to our PO Box in Philadelphia and strictly accepting bowls of macarooni, jugs of wine, and cigarettes. Snail mail us asap for a chance to be included in our annual Lupercalia Festival raffle! Make some noise with the idiom boys and kick start the internal combustion engine that is Episode 87. End song courtesy of New York thrash/metalcore gods Zombie Apocalypse.

Episode 86: Maaaaaaaan! Y’all are the lowest, lousiest buncha flea-bitten scum suckers I ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on! I mean, really. What is the deal with your whole face-head? I say, I’ve got a right mind to scatter all you lily-livered polecats to the freakin’ four winds! On the other hand, this could be the opportunity of a lifetime! I can see the headlines now: SWARTHY PODCAST GOONS LICK MILQUETOAST AUDIENCE INTO SHAPE FOR LOW, LOW PRICE $$ WOMEN SWOON IN THEIR PRESENCE! MEN SWOON AT THE THOUGHT OF WOMEN SWOONING! “IT’S LOLLAPASWOONSA OVA HEEEERE!” REMARKS GEORGE SWOONEY. Alright, I’ve made up my mind. I’ll do it! Just a couple quick caveats first. I don’t do weekends, holidays, bathrooms, laundry, or kissing. What I do on my personal time is my business. MY BUSINESS, YA GOT THAT?! So yeah, listen to Episode 86 and become a version of yourself that doesn’t suck eggs quite as much.