Encouragementology Kendell Boysen

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are striving for a different vantage point as we rise above self-doubt, transforming shame into embracing confidence. According to a YouGov survey in 2018, about 50% of people reported experiencing self-doubt in their daily lives. That’s a whole lot of insecurity. Is that what you see plastered all over social media…vulnerability? Just another clue that what you see on the surface may not indicate what is really going on under the water. Add in that shame reinforces self-doubt and self-doubt increases shame and you have a tangled web to unwind. 
Self-doubt can create real challenges, both personally and professionally. It makes you doubt your abilities and holds you back from growing and achieving your full potential. At work, it stops you from taking on new projects or going for that promotion because you're convinced you're not good enough. This constant second-guessing can lead to major stress, anxiety, and even depression, making life a lot harder than it needs to be. It can also interrupt your relationships, as you struggle to trust others and communicate effectively. In the end, self-doubt becomes a vicious cycle that keeps you from living your best life.
I seek strength, not to be greater than others, but to fight my greatest enemy, the doubts within myself.
Can you pinpoint when self-doubt crept in and wrecked your confidence? Shame might be easier to identify since it’s typically linked to specific events that you regret but doubt can be a silent thief. Robbing you of possibilities and opportunities you didn’t have the confidence to go for.
Just like the settlers did when they claimed new territory, let’s put a flag in and start building a solid foundation of confidence as we eradicate shame and doubt! 
Let’s hear her Hack for Self-Doubt - Brene Brown
Dr. Jeremy Sutton gives us more on the Shame Resilience Theory: Advice From Brené Brown found at positivepsychology.com
Kendra Cherry sheds some more light on How to Forgive Yourself found at Very Well Mind
At the Triving Center of Psych, I found Understanding Impostor Syndrome: Breaking Free From Self-Doubt
Self-doubt often begins with a combination of internal and external factors. So here are some common sources - see if you’re holding on tightly to any of these:
Early Experiences: Negative experiences or criticisms during childhood, such as overly critical parents or teachers, can plant seeds of self-doubt.
Comparisons: Comparing oneself to others, especially in the age of social media, can lead to feelings of inadequacy and doubt about one's abilities or worth.
Perfectionism: Holding oneself to impossibly high standards and fearing failure can create a constant sense of not being good enough.
Failures and Setbacks: Experiencing failures or setbacks can undermine confidence, making one question their competence and abilities.
Negative Self-Talk: Internalizing negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can perpetuate a cycle of doubt and low self-esteem.
Unrealistic Expectations: Setting unrealistic goals or expectations can lead to a sense of failure when they are not met, fostering self-doubt.
Lack of Support: Without a supportive network of friends, family, or mentors, individuals might struggle to maintain confidence in their abilities and decisions.
Trauma or Stress: Traumatic experiences or chronic stress can erode self-confidence and lead to persistent self-doubt.
CHALLENGE: Embrace your journey of self-discovery, for in overcoming self-doubt, you unlock the door to limitless potential. Let every stumble be a stepping stone, and every moment of doubt a reminder of your inner strength. Rise above shame because true empowerment is in believing in yourself, fiercely and unapologetically
 
I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are exploring a puzzling problem; why does communication still fail in a hyper-connected world? Even though the workplace has more modes of communication than ever before, 86% of employees and executives cite the lack of effective collaboration and communication as the main cause of workplace failures. Are we trading convenience for connection and clear communication? If you frequently feel overwhelmed and misunderstood have you ever stepped back and asked, “How much can my brain safely and accurately compute?” The average office worker receives about 121 emails per day and sends out 40 work-related emails daily, contributing to communication overload and potential miscommunication. Studies suggest that people misinterpret the tone and intent of emails and texts about 50% of the time, leading to misunderstandings and conflict.  Over 70% of employees report feeling overwhelmed with the amount of information they receive at work, leading to decreased productivity and communication breakdowns. 
It doesn’t take long for me to become distracted. I envision an octopus with eight arms all preforming tasks at the same time and in the center of it all, the googley eyes are spinning and steam is coming from it’s head. Picture it, you're watching a program>while reading the subtitles>you get a text> that asks you to jump on social media to check out a post or video>someone asks you a question>your phone rings>it’s your mother and she can’t understand her banking app>you open a web browser to see why she’s stuck……I literally could go on and on.  Does all this convenience and distracting multi-tasking come at a cost? 
Would you be able to go “old school.” 
A study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association shows that frequent digital media use involving social media, gaming, texting, and streaming movies, music, or TV increases one's risk of developing ADHD symptoms by nearly 10 percent. Put a pin in that and we’ll come back to it. 
Over at Preply, Matt Zajechowski shines a line on a Study showing Americans are becoming less effective communicators
At Recuiter.com I found more information on The Negative Impact That Growing Up Digital Has Had on Communication
At HelpGuide.org I found Effective Communication -Improving Your Interpersonal Skills
Have you ever heard of the snowball effect? The term refers to how small issues can escalate and accumulate leading to larger problems and potentially significant consequences. Now let’s start a lack of communication or miscommunication snowball down the hill. Here's how it typically unfolds:
Misunderstandings: Initially, there might be a small misunderstanding or misinterpretation of a message, which is not addressed or clarified.
Assumptions and Errors: Without clarification, people may start making assumptions or errors based on the initial misunderstanding, leading to further confusion.
Missed Opportunities: As misunderstandings grow, opportunities for collaboration, innovation, or problem-solving may be missed, affecting productivity and efficiency.
Conflict: Unresolved misunderstandings can lead to conflicts, as people become frustrated or feel ignored, further hindering effective communication.
Distrust and Resentment: Persistent communication breakdowns can erode trust and breed resentment among team members, damaging relationships and morale.
Impact on Performance: Ultimately, the snowball effect can impact overall performance, leading to decreased productivity, lower quality work, and potentially even business losses.
CHALLENGE: Clear communication is crucial for effective collaboration and understanding in both personal and professional settings, fostering stronger relationships and minimizing misunderstandings. Convey your ideas accurately, ensuring everyone is on the same page to drive successful outcomes.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are going beyond the mantra to gain some insight and mindfulness momentum. Played out? Is the request to be more mindful met with eye-rolling and heavy sighs? Well there has to be something to it don’t you think? Mindfulness has become popular because studies have showcased its benefits throughout the years, and past research shows it is often effective in reducing distressing symptoms from various mental health conditions, like anxiety and depression. And I think we can all agree that taking a meaningful time-out from a chaotic day, month, or year can only be a good thing. But let’s not just screenprint it on a t-shirt or embellish a throw pillow, let's take some time and really dive in to see what all the fuss is. 
What do your moments of mental rest look like? Do you unplug only to plug into something different and maybe more entertaining? I used to move my eyes from my computer only to pick up my phone and jump right back in. Sure it felt like a diversion and something different but before I knew it, I was sucked into streams, posts, pics, and reels. Once I came up for air I wasn’t any less stressed and possibly more burdened. 
I love Spring and Fall. I love a windy day, a bright sun, and sometimes a good rain shower. I love observing nature from blowing leaves to crashing waves. There is something so powerful about nature, raw, vivid, and yes, calming. Have you ever just sat and observed? No distractions but what’s unfolding before you. Inhale deeply and open your mind. Let thoughts enter your mind. Like a cube suspended in air, turn that thought and examine it from all the different sides and angles. 
Mindfulness is awareness of one's internal states and surroundings. Mindfulness can help people avoid destructive or automatic habits and responses by learning to observe their thoughts, emotions, and other present-moment experiences without judging or reacting to them.
At Better Help I found What Is Mindfulness, And Why Has It Become So Popular?
At Mindful Ambition, Patrick Buggy shares The Power of Perception: Change Your Narrative, Change Your Life
At Better Up, Elizabeth Perry helps us focus on the Here and now: Discover the benefits of being present
Remember, mindfulness is not just for meditation so while you’re thinking about deep breathing and sitting cross-legged consider that mindfulness can be integrated into various activities and aspects of daily life, such as:
Mindful Walking: Paying close attention to each step, the sensations of walking, and the environment around you.
Mindful Eating: Eating slowly and paying attention to the taste, texture, and experience of eating without distractions.
Mindful Breathing: Taking deep, intentional breaths and focusing on the sensation of breathing to anchor yourself in the present moment.
Mindful Listening: Fully focusing on what someone is saying without thinking about your response or other distractions.
Mindful Body Scan: Bringing awareness to different parts of your body, noticing any sensations or tensions without trying to change them.
Mindful Activities: Engaging fully in activities like yoga, gardening, or even washing dishes by being fully present in the moment.
CHALLENGE: Incorporating mindfulness into your daily life can transform your experience, bringing clarity, peace, and a deeper connection to the present moment. By taking small, mindful actions each day, you can cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life.
 
I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are weighing the convenience vs the connection to find an optimal balance. Sacrificing one seems like taking a step back in time but limiting the other is detrimental to your health. People need people….I could break out into song here but just trust me. A more recent review of 148 studies concluded that on average having stronger social ties increased the likelihood of an individual's overall survival by as much as 50 percent! You might be a self-proclaimed loner or someone who would rather observe life from afar but the fact is, we need people for emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. Relationships with others provide comfort during challenging times, joy during celebrations, and a feeling of connection that enriches life. Additionally, interactions with others offer opportunities for personal growth, learning, and the development of empathy and understanding. 
Modern times have really changed the way we interact with others both personally and professionally but has the convenience come at a cost? I say yes, but now I have to convince you. I’m not suggesting we go back to the turn of the century and remove all technology from our houses but I am hoping that you will strive for a healthy balance once you fully understand the pros and cons. Deal?
Gareth Cook answers Why We Are Wired to Connect at scientificamerican.com
Alarming Statistics from From Pew Research…
Adrianna Rodriguez from USA Today discusses how Americans are lonely and it’s killing them.
At bigthink.com I found out why Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends
Plan Social Activities: Organize gatherings, events, or outings that encourage face-to-face interaction. This could include dinners, game nights, or outdoor activities.
Join Clubs or Groups: Join clubs, classes, or groups based on your interests. This provides opportunities to meet like-minded individuals and engage in shared activities.
Attend Local Events: Attend community events, festivals, or workshops to meet new people and engage in conversations.
Limit Screen Time: Reduce the amount of time spent on digital devices, which can free up more time for in-person interactions.
Prioritize Face-to-Face Communication: When possible, choose face-to-face communication over digital methods like texting or emailing.
Be Present: When interacting with others in person, be fully present and engaged in the conversation. Put away distractions like phones or laptops.
Seek Out New Experiences: Try new activities or hobbies that involve interacting with others, such as joining a sports team or volunteering.
CHALLENGE: Don’t take the easy way out and live your life on the periphery. Step up, reach out, and nurture human connection. It’s the fastest declining commodity. Take the time and invest to reap the greatest rewards life has to offer.
 
I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are redefining denial to determine if it’s complicated or just hard. Raise your hand if you’ve gotten stuck in a procrastination loop because to change, let go, and adopt a new behavior is just hard. So hard it feels impossible!  Life doesn’t have to be complicated to be hard. And reducing your options to go or don’t go doesn’t limit your possibilities. Varying degrees and options can sometimes provide too many hiding places for procrastination and denial. Let’s lay it all out in the open and be honest with ourselves, what is preventing you from moving forward? Whether it’s to obtain new skills, build stronger relationships, better your situation, or just open yourself up to what life has in store for you. 
You know how sometimes it feels like putting things off or pretending a problem isn't there is just easier? It's because facing a challenge head-on can be scary or uncomfortable. Procrastination gives us a break from the stress or discomfort, even though it often makes things more stressful later on. Denial is similar—it lets us avoid admitting hard truths about ourselves or our situations, which can protect our egos. In the short term, both procrastination and denial can help us deal with tough emotions or situations, but in the long run, they can hold us back from growing and being truly well.
Maybe it’s that talk you need to have, or that habit you need to address, or that chore you need to do….none of it sounds fun, it just sounds hard. So you know what they say, out of sight out of mind. Push it back until we “feel” like doing it. Newsflash, it’s hard so you will never feel like doing it. Is it important, is it good for you, is it good for the other person (if there is one) then get out of your own way and stop self-sabotaging progress! 
“Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” — Michael Landon
I love reading about history, even historical fiction. The time is accurate even if the characters are fictitious. I love looking back in time because it reminds me of how far we have come. For instance, if my microwave goes out and I have to warm something the old-fashioned way …well then, I like to remember a simpler time when they first had to make a fire by hand to even start their day. You get my gist. 
​​Sourena Vasseghi asks IS IT HARD OR IS IT CHALLENGING on his blog
Kaitlin Vogel provides some strategies as she asks Feeling Stuck? How to Remove Those Roadblocks on Psych Central
Heidi Godman shares more on Denial: How it hurts, how it helps, and how to cope found on Harvard Health
When life feels particularly challenging, it can be tough to navigate through the difficulties. Here are some strategies to help you get over the hump:
Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for emotional support. Talking about your feelings can help you feel less alone.
Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Get enough sleep, eat healthily, exercise, and engage in activities that bring you joy.
Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: If you're feeling overwhelmed, break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Focus on completing one step at a time.
Set Realistic Expectations: Be gentle with yourself and set realistic expectations. It's okay to not be perfect or to need help.
Focus on What You Can Control: Identify aspects of the situation that you can control and focus your energy there. Let go of things that are beyond your control.
Practice Mindfulness or Meditation: These practices can help you stay present and reduce stress and anxiety.
Find Meaning: Reflect on the situation and try to find meaning or lessons that can be learned from it. This can help you see the situation in a more positive light.
Engage in Activities That Bring You Comfort: Whether it's reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature, engaging in activities that bring you comfort can help you cope with difficul

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are digging into the effects of encouragement on building confidence and self-esteem. The definition: the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope. Heartwarming huh? Seems like a simple and uplifting definition but so much to unpack here and explore. We focus so much attention on motivation as the key to driving results, staying on task, and completing a mission but how does encouragement factor in? 
It's kind of like the chicken and the egg – which comes first, motivation or encouragement? Well, in real life, encouragement often kicks things off. When you're feeling unsure or lacking confidence, a little encouragement can go a long way. It helps you believe that you can actually do something, which then gets you motivated to give it a shot.
But hey, sometimes motivation comes first. You might already be pumped up about a goal, and then a bit of encouragement helps you stay on track or get past roadblocks.
It’s all about perception and meeting someone where they are. Sometimes encouragement leads the charge and other times, motivation is already there, just waiting for a little boost from some positive vibes.
I hope you find this as fascinating as I have for the last seven years. There will be something in here for you, meeting you where you are and something you can pass on, to meet someone else along their journey.
Michael Kouly gives us a breakdown and his take on The Power of Encouragement found on LinkedIn
Let’s explore this idea of encouragement as a practice. Joel Nundy shares The Power of Encouragement | How to Live an Encouraging Lifestyle on his youtube channel
Danielle Bernock shares 5 WAYS ENCOURAGEMENT IS POWERFUL found on her blog
At Start My Wellness, Dr, Anton Babushkin shares the difference: How Does Self-Esteem Differ From Self-Confidence?
CHALLENGE: Encouragement is a transformative tool, fostering confidence, resilience, growth, and stronger relationships while improving performance and mental health. So don't hold back, offer words of encouragement, and watch the magic unfold as you create a ripple effect of positivity in the world.
I Know YOU Can Do It!